Thursday, March 7, 2013

Celebri-nerds, do you know what I'm tweeting? Featuring- @WilW @Nerdist @FeliciaDay

I'm tired of all these emails from Twitter asking me "Do you know what Wil Wheaton, Chris Hardwick, and Felicia Day are doing?"

Yes, Twitter, I know what they are doing! They are staunchly ignoring me. All of them. 

This could be because I sound like a blathering idiot any time I contact celebrities via twitter. Seriously, my brain fog makes typing hard sometimes, but apparently, the added stress of talking to someone who is SUPER awesome results in tweets such as these true life JRose tweets:

"I hope to someday be in the cool internet people that hang w/ @feliciaday club. She need her to see my work."
"SHE NEED HER TO SEE MY WORK!!!! ffs. Seriously, I can never @feliciaday without making a total tool of myself."

It all started with me trying to share my blarg with Felicia Day because she loves Hyperbole and a Half, but then I tweeted her the same thing three times in a row, which makes me look like a total renob, but she ignored me anyway, just like Wil Wheaton does, and I don't blame him either because I send him things like this:

@wilw I really want to sent that guy a box full of punctuation. Geezus!
Without fail, I typo and sound like a moron EVERY time I tweet to @wilw. I am beginning to think it is not a coincidence. #possiblemoron

or creepy dream overshares:

Dreamt I was taking @cakewreck's talking pet owl outside, where @feliciaday "high butt fived" me & @wilw helped me make pumpkin beer.

Jen Yates is camera shy, so you should know that she is just out of frame in the first panel.

Had @wilw and Gary Coleman in my dream last night doing a world wide essay writing contest. Mine was on serial killers in Montana.

Had a dream that @wilw gave me a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine.

I dreamt last night that @wilw was seductively feeding me gourmet food while I was trying to sleep. #eventiredinmydreams

Or I'm just me being weird for attention or because I just happen to be weird:


Chris Hardwick aka The Nerdist has been lucky so far to have only gotten a few strange tweets from me, but they're coming. Oh, they're coming. And probably dreams too now that we have an hour of Talking Dead each week.


  1. I love me that Chris Hardwick. Wheaton too, I've had a crush on him since his Wesley days. And I want to be Felicia Day... In like the least creepy way possible. And of course they're all friends, so you could totally meet them all at the same party. And Jenny Lawson would probably be hanging out in the bathroom. That would be one hell of a game of Scrabble.

    And I do believe it would be kinda gross in WW's intestines - that guy is all about burritos and beer.

  2. Not sure why they wouldn't reply. If I was famous any place other than my head these are these are the tweets I would want to see. Not the "OMG I'm your biggest fan. I love you." Well, yes I want to see those too, but if someone said "OMG I'm your biggest fan. I love you. BTW I'm in your intestines." I would be like now that is a fan who is dedicated. And if they brought a snoopy snow cone maker I would be like "Party. All the way."

    1. I have to assume at this point that they are cyborgs, and they don't respond to me because I have been tagged as cyborg unfriendly, somehow. I mean, have you seen how Wil Wheaton collates. That is not human behavior.

  3. I need a stalker like you... is there a place where I can get some stalking love?

  4. OMG - I LOVED that Snoopy Sno Cone machines!! :D
    I totally had one when I was younger. Not into Wil Wheaton though. I liked him in Stand by Me (leeches!).
    I agree with Skwishee - his intestines would be super gross. Have you seen him nowadays?!

  5. I can't handle you and this blog! Hi-larious! I also can't believe you tweet celebrities. I never do, but maybe I will, as I guess I have nothing to lose. You've lost enough dignity for both of us, so I feel like I have a free pass. :-)

    If you want to continue tweeting celebrities, maybe you should run it by me first. (Don't literally run it by me. I don't run, but you know that based upon my profile photo.) I think you need an editor for your tweets and I'm happy to volunteer because I'm a giver that way. However, I will only be available and sober enough to edit between the hours of 2 a.m. and 8 a.m., so tweet accordingly.

    P.S. That last part was a lie. I can't guarantee sobriety at any time.

  6. I had a dream about Jen and John one night too. I thought maybe it was from reading too much Epbot and Cakewrecks, but I just can't stop. They were really fun to hang with, BTW. In my dream. In real life, all I have is a button I mailed in for. I don't tweet celebrities, unless you consider The Packaging Diva, who is kind of a celebrity in my mind. Oh, and that one guy who I actually know. But mostly with him I just send FB messages like once a decade and a happy birthday text so I don't know if that actually counts.


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