My doctor prescribed new Fibromyalgia medication. I just titrated* up to two a day. They make me feel like this. Almost.
*My dictionary doesn't know the word "titrated." Clearly, it doesn't have any sort of medical issues. Checking that it is correct via google** and waiting a really long time for everything to load is really beyond my scope of patience right now. But I did it anyway, for you. But my computer is really slow. It doesn't seem to be made for my new drawing program, or maybe it is because I never restart it, because I don't have the patience to wait for shit to load when I do. I want a new computer.
** My dictionary also doesn't know the word "google" which is pretty fucking stupid since I have the "Ask Google for Suggestions" option check. You would think that Google would suggest that google was fucking correct. Oh, it wants to be capitalized. Well, fuck you Google, you should know that you are now a verb and not a proper verb (is there such thing as a proper verb?) so you don't get to be capitalized when I am verbing you***. You are just so vain. You probably think this post is about you. Well, it's not. It is about me being stoned because Tylenol makes me sleepy, so Neurontin is making me fly on a pink sparkly pega-narwhal, so fuck you, Google.
***Oh, wait, my bad. I wasn't verbing you, was I? I blame the drugs for that outburst. I'm sorry. I love you Google.
*My dictionary doesn't know the word "titrated." Clearly, it doesn't have any sort of medical issues. Checking that it is correct via google** and waiting a really long time for everything to load is really beyond my scope of patience right now. But I did it anyway, for you. But my computer is really slow. It doesn't seem to be made for my new drawing program, or maybe it is because I never restart it, because I don't have the patience to wait for shit to load when I do. I want a new computer.
** My dictionary also doesn't know the word "google" which is pretty fucking stupid since I have the "Ask Google for Suggestions" option check. You would think that Google would suggest that google was fucking correct. Oh, it wants to be capitalized. Well, fuck you Google, you should know that you are now a verb and not a proper verb (is there such thing as a proper verb?) so you don't get to be capitalized when I am verbing you***. You are just so vain. You probably think this post is about you. Well, it's not. It is about me being stoned because Tylenol makes me sleepy, so Neurontin is making me fly on a pink sparkly pega-narwhal, so fuck you, Google.
***Oh, wait, my bad. I wasn't verbing you, was I? I blame the drugs for that outburst. I'm sorry. I love you Google.
This has got to be the best post ever! :D I love flying pink sparkly pega-narwhals! I want one!! :P
ReplyDeleteLOVE that drawing. I want to get high and ride a narwhal.
ReplyDeleteFlying pink narwhals yay! Who knew drugs could be so adorable?
ReplyDeleteBased on personal experience and the nature of this post, I'd say HELLO STEROIDS!
ReplyDeleteI thought of you when I read the headline about the Narwhale smuggling ring...
ReplyDeleteAs it should be. When the world thinks narwhal, JRose should be the next thought. :D
DeleteThat's the most beautiful flying narwhal I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteThere is no such thing as a proper verb. However, that does not mean there shouldn't be. I bet if you Facebooked (he he) a request for words, you'd get all sorts of proper verbs.
ReplyDelete