Sunday, March 20, 2011

House Stalking

Every once in a while, I become convinced that I am going to win the lottery so I begin detailed plans for investments and other extravagant purchases.

Part of that, recently, has been house hunting.  And hunting is precisely what I have been doing, because unless you live here in my city, you probably have no idea that the people who did the street planning in this town either had severe ADHD OR they were heavily intoxicated. Probably the latter since this is the wild west and cowboys are always drunk as hell on whiskey in westerns, right?

See, my town has a Cheese Drive*, a Cheese Lane, and 2 Cheese Avenues, and the address on the website just said "900 Cheese."

After three tries, I became convinced that expensive houses for sale in my town have some sort of cloaking device that makes them only visible to people who actually HAVE the money to even consider buying the house...

Today's hunt was made on account of a search for another house that I decided against (in my imaginary search for a house to buy). Even though the pictures of it were beautiful, and amazing, and perfectly the design I wanted, it was up a mountain, on a road that was at grade of approximately 30 degrees.  It was hard enough getting my car to agree to go up the street when the roads were clear, but I would have had to refrain from leave my house for 8 months out of the year when snow was on the ground, so my car didn't slide down the super steep hill, killing myself (and a lovely neighborhood full of frolicking children and rich folk who like jogging up ridiculously steep roads) in a spectacular fiery crash, because that is what happens when you slide down an ice covered incline, right?

But, actually, I couldn't find that house.  I found where it SHOULD be, but it wasn't really there, as far as I could see.

I did find the house today, on the fourth try.  On the second Cheese Avenue, that I didn't know existed, that was about 8 blocks away from the normal Cheese Avenue, down a one way street...

For the record, I do not waste any relator's time being shown the insides of houses I want to "imaginary buy", I just stalk the houses, driving by, looking at them longingly while playing Journey songs for them on my car stereo.

*The name of the street has been changed in case I really do win the lottery and buy said house, though living on Cheese Ave. would be pretty boss.


  1. Stick a bat in the attic, make the doors creak and the floorboards dodgy and I'll have it.


    *Hysterically runs away and rocks back and forth in the corner.*

  3. Can you look for your lottery home with a smexy pool house so I can live on site? :D

  4. I truly wish it was ACTUALLY on cheese ave. Mmmm cheese.

  5. We have a couple of streets like that in our area, one of which is the longest in the city.
    So your driving down it to find a place and quite pleased to think you know where your going.....when you find it's not on this one at all. You've just wasted 5 min driving down the wrong road at which point you shake your fist at the sign and say "Dagnabbit!"

    I love imaginary house buying, though as we want to build our next house it's really more of imaginary house puzzle building. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Oh and we must have that sun room. ^_^

  6. ha ha fab, i do this at least once a month when im convinced that im going to win BIG TIME x

  7. oh, i love house stalking! my friend joy & i used to love watching the realty channel when they'd showcase the million dollar homes. : )


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