Saturday, January 14, 2012

Burger Times

I am entirely unable to fathom why, when you go to a fast food restaurant and order your food without bread, they then become completely unable to put condiments on meat and cheese. I get the concept that they are most likely accustom to putting the ketchup and mayonnaise on the bread, but it really isn't that hard.
In fact, every time they refrain from putting condiments on my sad and lonely bunless burgers, I am somehow able to put condiments on it, myself, so clearly it is not rocket science.




Today, at our local Burger Royalty restaurant, I took note of the very handsome older gentleman who works there. When I say handsome, I mean, nearly as handsome as 60 year old Clint Eastwood. I have to assume he either was a ranch hand who murdered his employer and has recently gotten out of prison on parole, or that he raped a 14 year old in the 1960s, because I cannot come up with another reason that some one of that age, who is so attractive, would need to (or choose to) work at a burger joint. He was, incidentally, standing right behind me while I told my mother this theory. If I go missing, it was probably him.



Also, RE: Bunless burgers... FORKS AND KNIVES, assholes. Seriously.


15 comments:

  1. Forks and knives!! =D

    At the very least they could put a wrapper on it for you, right?

    That last image made my morning... definitely worth scrolling down for. Thanks!!

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  2. Dude! I so get this! This is why I tell my son his first job will not be at a place that promotes zombism.

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  3. LOVING the new page design! Especially the crossword puzzle part (I had to use my college degree to figure out what those black and white squares were, but it was taking too long so I just Googled it).

    best,
    MOV

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  4. I'm so with you on the bunles burger thing. when I order one for my son I have to repeat it at least 3x and tell them specifically "He has food allergies! Do NOT take a burger off a bun and give it to him, and NO he will not eat the fixings with it...just the patty!!!" puff. I feel your pain.

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  5. I've always thought about asking for burgers without buns but my timidness always wins out. Instead, I order the buns then leave them on the side. Then I'm left with two pieces of bun with nowhere to go. Then I feel like a waster of food and feel guilty. The starving children commercials play in my head. I go home and ask my husband to go online and order some ducks. He says, "we don't have a pond". I say "while you are online, find a digger man to come dig a pond". He replies, "why?". I respond, "because I need to be able to feed my buns to something".

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  6. Love the new layout :D And seriously, it's like you throw a monkey wrench in the whole fucking program if you ask for anything other than standard burger.

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  7. oooh, i like the new background! and the no bun thing is just silly. i mean, how hard could it possibly be to NOT put a bun on something? oh! also, a theory on the attractive older burger worker - he's doing research for his novel/movie. : )

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    Replies
    1. I thought of that but he has been working there for a while now... maybe he needs a LOT of research.

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  8. This post comes with freaky timing.

    A few days ago I found out that an acquaintance of mine is part of "Burger Club" where they go to a different burger joint each week and then blog about it. And then we just watched the "How I Met Your Mother" episode about the burger yesterday. Today for lunch, my hubby and I went out for burgers.

    WEIRD!!!

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  9. Ohh your blog's all different! Nice revamp!!

    I assume they don't put anything on the burger when you don't get it with a bun because then it would be super messy, right? Like what would hold in the ketchup/mustard? The paper wrapper? ICK!!! (I hate messy things). When they give it to you in packets, you can put it on yourself once you've unwrapped it.

    The fork/knife thing should be common sense, though.

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    Replies
    1. They serve it in a bowl or tray, usually. Funny enough, the one place that puts it in a paper does a lettuce wrap and has no problem putting condiments on.

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    2. Okay, now I need to know what place does a lettuce wrap? I'm gluten free and really miss being able to get drive through food when traveling...

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    3. @Anonymous- Hardee's and Carl's Jr. do a lettuce wrap that is pretty darned tasty!

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  10. Thank you! Fast food options are damned awesome!

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