Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Obligatory (Inappropriate) Olympics Post

If you have been following me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I am watching the Olympics. I am expanding on my commentary here, though, for your hopeful amusement.

Check in on Getglue: Olympics Opening Ceremony fattieart- I'm only here for Voldie vs. Mary Poppins.

I have no idea what this pommel horse shit is supposed to look like. They just remind me of fancy paraplegics. #inappropriate #olympics

Honestly, their legs going all twirly and stuff freaks me out, and my research tells me that paraplegics actually can and do compete in pommel horse exercises, so I feel slightly less like an ass for my observation.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.

I usually like fat boys, but I wouldn't kick these swimmers out of my bed. #olympics #perving

Unless they were jumping on it, because that is just annoying.

I hate volleyball. I'm watching it, because it is on, but I still suffer from face:ball related PTSD from my high school years. #olympics

When I was in high school, the only sports my school had was basketball and volleyball. Our lunch period was an hour and twenty minutes and often, after people ate (or before) they would play volleyball in the courtyard. I liked a boy on the volleyball team and no matter where I sat to watch him play, without fail, the ball would come soaring at me and hit me in the face*.  It's like my face was a ball magnet. I think I stopped liking the boy just so I wouldn't have to watch him play anymore.

*That was also the year that my dad taught me that you could kill a person by jambing your palm into their nose, so I was particularly afraid that the ball would hit me that way and kill me.

Does gymnastics cause sexual excitation, or are all the male gymnasts wearing erection shaped cups? #inappropriate #olympics

Seriously, have you seen this? It's like wang central up in the gymnastics competition.

I am seriously in awe of these amazing athletes though, and I think they are all awesome. Their talent is beyond anything that I would have the dedication to do. I can hardly talk myself into brushing my teeth, let alone training for years to be the glowing unicorns of sports that they are!


  1. I like this very much, even if the Queen didn't approve of the opening ceremony! :P

  2. Hysterical and my feelings exactly about the pommel horse. For some reason it just creeps me out.

  3. RIGHT?!?! Their junk is all out there! Thank you.

  4. Have that same issue w/ volleyball! Ha! Love your olympic coverage!!

  5. I have actually not watched one second of the olympics (that wasn't a complete accident). I just don't see how some person from my country beating some other person from another country at some sport that I'm not interested in (which would be ALL of them) should mean anything to me.

    But I'm glad everyone else is having fun.

    (And I'm sure if I actually knew any of the people competing it would be a different story. I'd have to watch every single second of it because I'm too lazy to actually find out when particular things are happening.)

    1. I don't necessarily cheer for the people from my country. Last night in a swimming thingy, I was yelling, "YAY! Go guy in the front, win, fishy guy!!!" I do the same thing watching other sports, I am excited for all of them when they do well, and sad for the ones that don't, but mostly, I just like excuses to be loud and silly.

  6. wang central? great, now you've peeked my interest and i feel the need to watch some olympics. i only tuned in last night after i heard people talking about the sports bras on the outside of the shirts. dang, i think i just revealed something about myself here.

  7. I've been enjoying the little bit of Olympic coverage I have seen. But mostly the Men's gymnastics. I didn't notice excessive wangage, they're just in such good shape!

    I also suffer from Ball to the Head Syndrome. It never failed in high school; I'd be standing there all innocent, and a ball would fly all the way across the gym and bonk me in the head. Which is why i was in choir and drill team. And why I grew up to play Roller Derby. No balls. Except in Merby. (Men's roller derby. REALLY funny to watch...)

  8. your second picture is broken :(

    1. I tried really hard to load the page in a way that it was broken, but alas, I can't make it break. Is it working for you now?


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