Showing posts with label con. Show all posts
Showing posts with label con. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

There’s this weird thing that people do that baffles me. As an artist, it has happened to me but it clearly isn't just confined to art, but the puzzling phenomenon of people taking credit for things that they obviously didn't do.

A woman stands in front of the framed Mona Lisa and says "Hey guys, look at this awesome picture I painted!"


That is not to say that I don’t get the general idea of lying to get attention...

Comic titled: "Impressing Your Friends With Art - A choose your own adventure" shows a woman saying "I want some attention. My friends are impressed by art" A picture of her painting an oil painting of goatse says "I could do a whole lot of work and get some praise OR..." Below, she sits at a desk with a messy bun and sweatsuit at a computer in the dark looking at google under which reads "I could just google something impressive and take credit for it!"


But the chances of it backfiring and looking like a total jackhole when you are figured out totally skews the risk vs. reward ratio way too far into the TOO RISKY category for me and I think, most reasonable people. So much so that I have never actually considered such a ridiculous idea.

Part of the real confusion I experience with this is this "flying to close to the sun" urge that seems to come with the urge to lie about your achievements. Instead of lying in a small way that might give a small boost, it seems to be a huge ridiculous lie that is just so obvious it's kind of insulting. *cough Trump cough*

But there is another way.

For all the flack that millennials get, there’s this beautiful thing I have seen happening in the current generation that would totally satiate these low effort attention seekers without resulting in them needing to delete their Facebook account when their artist friends call out the fact that they have claimed to paint a picture that was painted by a really well-known artist…

It’s called… ASKING FOR COMPLIMENTS.

Honestly, it is the coolest thing about people now. When you’re having a bad day, if you’re friends with leftist millennials or similarly positive nice people, you can just ask for the attention you need and (if you don’t do this on a daily basis and you’re not a total asshole) they’ll totally say nice things about you to make you happy.

This also works with asking for a gif of kittens and pictures of hybrid corgi mixes, I've found. But seriously, have you looked up corgi mixes?



Anyway, if you find yourself in need of emotional support sometimes and claiming you painted the Mona Lisa starts looking tempting, I urge you to try asking for a compliment to get the ego boost you need. Just say, "Hey friends, I'm having a hard time. Could you say something nice about me to cheer me up?"


And there’s the added bonus of knowing who to unfriend if anyone tries to make you feel bad about having emotional needs that are met by receiving external validations sometimes, 'cause you deserve to be happy and feel loved and people who try to shit on that don't deserve corgis AT ALL.



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Friday, January 28, 2011

He was all hopped up on juice boxes!

My mom received a phone call at seven this morning.
"Hello, Grandma [name redacted]?" and he proceeded to tell her that he and his friends drove over to Toronto last night and that they were speeding and got pulled over and they had a little pot in the car and... he was really sorry, but he needed money to get out of jail.

I suppose this is a good scam, and I know friends' grandparents who have fallen for it unfortunately, but it doesn't really work when your only grandson is a preschooler.

I suggested that she should have said, after listening to his whole story, "Well, sweetheart, you have to expect to be arrested.  It IS illegal to drive when you're four years old..."

Especially when it is a 2000 mile overnight trip with drugs in the car, I would imagine.


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