When you are chosen to be a Christmas tree:
- Your trunk is chopped and you are severed from your roots... your roots keep you alive, in case you didn't know.
- You get stuck, in the best situations, in a tub of water so you languish slowly, in the worst case, your severed trunk is nailed to two boards.
- You have to stand there with shiny ornament weights on your limbs making you more likely to be attacked by cats and children.
- Your needles fall off leaving you on display naked until eventually, you are thrown on to a trash pile, because thankfully your awful sap saves you from having the last vestiges of your life burned out of you.
So really, you want to be a Christmas tree, or do you think maybe you could just be happy being alive in a pretty forest?