I didn't mean to not pay my bills in the past, it's just... I don't like taking money out of my bank account. A lot of the time when I wasn't paying my bills at first, I actually HAD the money. It was right there, in my bank, where it looked so nice and made me feel grown up and responsible... and taking it out made me feel sad, so I just left the money in my bank, until people were threatening mean things, like turning off my utilities. Of course, paying bills also equaled not having any money in the bank, at all, afterward... if I had known that there would had been any extra left over, it might have been less painful.
The creation of automatic bill pay made my life easier. If I don't have "control" of money coming out of my account, it's bearable, but actually writing checks for things feels like giant stabbing spears of sadness and anxiety to me.
This is all compounded by the fact that my go to defense mechanism is avoidance, so since bills make me feel bad I avoid bills. Thankfully, now, I have arranged my life so I only have about 2 bills that I actually have to actively pay, which is just about the amount of bill paying stress I can take.