Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Woodsman

Sorry for my sporadic absences, but I'm fairly certain there is a crazed woodsman with a hatchet in my brain cavity.  He looks a lot like "Texx with two Xs" in my mind.  My nephew warned me about him after watching Scooby-Doo, but I told him I was impervious to woodsmen... which seems to be untrue.



I actually have a long history of migraine headaches, and have tried many things to get rid of them.  The first prophylactic intervention was a blood pressure medicine, but seeing as I have low blood pressure usually, it basically made me sleep 18 hours a day... after which I usually woke up with a dull aching in my head.

And then there was the Topomax, which was one of the worst experiences of my life.  I trogged through days of crying hysterically at insanely stupid things (like not being able to find my keys in my purse and then realizing that my husband had used them and I would have to walk back inside to get them), not being able to drive at all because I was too spaced out, scaring the hell out of my family with aggressive behavior that I don't recall at all, and then the proverbial straw on the back of a overloaded camel, forgetting how to walk.

I guess you would call it forgetting how to walk...  I came out of the bathroom walking just fine, I abruptly stopped and then I was standing there, a few steps from the end of my bed, trying to will myself to walk forward and lay down and my brain's answers was, "Nope, I don't believe we will be doing that."  So I stood there, swaying, while my husband tried to figure out what the hell I was doing, and had a silent conversation in my head trying to convince my brain to let me move, that sounded like this:

Me: Uh, I'd like to lay down now...
Brain: Nope...
Me: No really, let's lay down.
Brain: Yeah... no.
Me: But this is really easy, just go forward, bend at knees, plop onto bed?
Brain: Yeah... not gonna happen.
Me (thinking): I could just flop onto the bed and be done with this foolishness...
Brain: You know I can hear you, right...?

Somehow I indicated to my husband what was happening and he came and helped me lower myself onto the bed.  At that moment, an executive decision was made that being able to move at will was really important to me and I would no longer be taking devil drugs to prevent migraines.

At the most now, I lose several hours a day to sitting in dark rooms and crying that my brain is being hacked apart while I wait for my medications to kick in.  I find though, that it is a far sight better than being completely useless 24 hours a day from drugs that are designed to stop me from having a few hours of pain.



Note: My doctor is convinced it is just migraines though I've had no MRIs or CAT scans w/ contrast (because I have no insurance so they avoid those expensive tests, though I think I'll be forcing the issue next month when I see her)... but it is not vision problems, or blood pressure. And it is not caffeine or lack of caffeine, or diet, or exercise... changing all of those things makes no difference at all... my brain is just an asshole... or there is a crazed woodsman in there.

21 comments:

  1. I've been taking Treximet. It works pretty well, but still gives the loopy feeling afterward, and the nausea I get if I take it on an empty stomach almost isn't worth it. Imitrex is generic now and the Publix grocery store by us had it for $5 a month.

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  2. Yar, Imitrex did nothing for me. NSAIDS actually work for most of my headaches once I have them, and I have narcotics for when the nsaids don't... which alway work.

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  3. Have you tried pressure points? The ones in the earlobes work best for me whenever I have a headache. If they don't eliminate it, they severely reduce it because they reduce the blood flow to the the brain. Not enough to harm function or anything, but to help with headaches.

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  4. Yup, tried all of them that are suggested but never heard earlobes. I'll try.. couldn't hurt... but all the others don't touch the migraines at all.

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  5. Sounds great :( If it's a woodsman, he might just get bored after chopping everything down. If not, I have no idea whatsoever and keep my gob shut. It seems to me after browsing blogland for, say, a year that a lot of very creative peope are cursed with migraines. I wonder if there is a pattern.

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  6. Although if it's a migraine, decreasing blood flow probably won't help. Most headaches are an abnormal constriction of blood vessels - less blood, less pressure, less headache.

    But migraines are an abnormal *dilation* of the vessels. Which is why people find stimulants like caffeine or (my favorite when I was younger) nicotine to help migraines, where they wouldn't help normal headaches.

    You've probably done this, but I'll suggest it anyway: a trigger journal. I discovered mine are almost all hormone-related, either from ovulation or PMS. Which is harder to deal with than, you know, avoiding red wine or taking aspirin before eating chocolate, but at least I have some help anticipating them.

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  7. I feel your pain, sister. I've had migraines since I was 13. They've dwindled considerably the last 6 years, but I still get them once in a while. What seemed to help relieve mine, was the spinal tap I had in '08. They drained some of the excess spinal fluid and the pressure in my head diminished a great deal. I originally had the spinal tap done because my optic nerves were swollen, due to excess spinal fluid. So I guess the fact that it also relieved my migraines was an added bonus.

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  8. So I just found you via Blog of Note, and love what I've read so far. Congrats by the way! Anyway, just wanted to comment on this one because I was also on Topomax for a while. I stopped taking it when I lost about 20 pounds, could no longer taste certain things, and constantly felt like I had insects crawling on my face. Not a fun time. Anyway, totally following your blog now. :)

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  9. I'm an RN and migraine sufferer. I use a combination of pressure points, super hot (microwaved) bean bag thingies by Nature's Creations, and a cocktail of Ibuprofen and Chlorpheniramine Maleate (found in sinus/allergy meds). I take two Coricidin Cold and Flu with two or three Ibuprofen (preferably liquigels). I have also found that the headaches are triggered by PMS as someone else mentioned. Anyway, I take the meds and put the heat on my head and go to bed. I get relief within two or three hours at the most. Antihistamines (Chlorpheniramine Maleate) are generally good for nausea, as well, which happens to me if I don't take the meds quick enough. Hope you find relief soon. Love your blog! www.danastrange.com

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  10. Menopause eased them, but acupuncture cured them.
    You are hilarious. Thanks for the laughs.

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  11. My Brain can be an ass-hole too...

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  12. I found that I could "shock" my headaches with an ice pack on my head while sitting in a hot bath. Something about the combination worked!

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  13. Y'know, if you move to England, then you can get MRI etc. for free... I am still at a loss to understand why the USA has not got this.

    Hm. Go England!

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  14. I am soooo glad that someone else out there knows what I am going through.(yet sad that anyone out there has to go through it) I also got prescribed Topamax, and lost the ability to connect with my brain. I begged the doctor to take me off it, but he scared me into compromising on just lowering the dosage. I finally went to another doctor, who took me off it, but either the Topamax is still in my system after 4 months, or some other med is messing with me. I can actually interact with my brain now, but it is like everything is still veeerrryy slowwwww to react. Like you, I did a lot of journals to find out if certain foods or hormones or stress or any other millions of things caused them, but couldn't find any red flags. All I can say is I can totally relate to you, and although I am sorry you are having to deal with this, but SOOO glad to have someone validate my feelings and problems associated with migraines.

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  15. I'm also glad to know I am not the only one... I am fortunate that my migraines, while several times weekly, are manageable with pain meds... thank goodness for ketoprofen... but they do interrupt a whole lot.

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  16. I'm sorry you have to put up with migraines :( I know how you feel. The worst part is when it happens around someone UTTERLY ignorant/unsympathetic. Usually I just roll up in a ball and whimper, so it is AWESOME, let me tell you, when you're with someone whose reaction include, "What the hell are you doing, NO, you don't have a migraine, it's just for attention, get up!" Yeah...win.

    App-O-Plectic

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  17. Scary stuff to read about the Topamax. The docs put my 9 year old son on it for migraines. Finally when he was 11, we took him off. He had absolutely no reading comprehension. Once off, he was a totally different person. He was back to joking around and having fun. It's like the topamax numbed the brain or something (and he was only on 25 mg/day). Anyway, love your blog.

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  18. So sorry to hear you are having such a hard time! My entire family suffers from migraines. My mom started getting them when she was nine and then I started getting them when I was about 18. From what all of our doctors say, it's hereditary. I agree with Catherine about keeping a trigger journal. You may not think you have triggers, but this will help you find the common demonitator in all your headaches. I was also on Topamax for about a year, along with my mom and sister. I would never recommend taking this! We all got crazy skinny (not the good skinny - we were unhealthy looking) and then we all noticed that our hair was getting thinner, and thinner. I would seriously pull clumps of hair out in the shower. Not only was I emaciated looking and had thin hair, I was a zombie part of the time and a crazy lunatic the other. I would cry over the dumbest stuff. People would look at me like I was...well, crazy! After a while I stopped taking all the preventative medication, which also made me sleepy all the time. I would get home from work and not be able to remember my day or my drive home. Pretty scary! Now when I feel a migraine coming on, I take Relpax. It is a much cleaner drug compaired to Imitrex. Imitrex made me want to die becuase the side effects were AWFUL! I don't get nearly as many migraines as I used to. Also, get plenty of natural sleep. Going to bed late and not getting enough rest are HUGE triggers for migraine sufferers. Hope that helps!

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  19. Yeah. its really suck when you feel pain especially when migraine occurs. its just like you want to beat or cut your head off. What I did is just to sleep with a dark room with lights off and sometimes take medicine named Tramadol.. It really help but I do stop taking it because most of the time only patient cancer take that medicine, so my mom stop me from taking the said medicine.

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  20. neurontin. Practically no side effects (no- REALLY!). I once had a migraine for a month and a half. All day, every day for 40 some days. Being pregnant at the time, my options were limited. I've been getting migraines for 25+ years and I've gone through every drug out there- the new and fancies (read: $$$) and the old and trusted, but only narcotics worked until this. Now with neurontin daily I have had 3 migraines in 6 months. Freaking LOVE the stuff and it is cheap. Maybe the woodsmen will put down their axes and have a happy-kumbaya party.

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  21. I was on the dreaded Topamax for about a year for epilepsy. That crap sucks. I couldn't walk because I was so dizzy, and had lost access to my fairly large vocabulary. I would look at a piece of furniture, know that it was a couch, but the only word that would come to mind was "clock" - it was something that belonged in the living room and started with a "c" sound. Months later I'm still dealing with the memory loss issues. My husband is also on it for migraines, though, and it has done wonders for him. Weird.

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