Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Wrong Number

Yesterday, as I was jazzercising*, my crappy borrowed cellphone rang.  Since I am currently out of the service area and it costs like 2 dollars a minute to take a call, I just checked the number, realized it was no one I knew and went back to my squatting jazz hip thrusts, ignoring the ringing, which is more of an ephemeral ghostly wailing than a ringing, but you probably wouldn't have known what the hell I was talking about if I said I ignored the ephemeral ghostly wailing without letting you know that that is my ringtone. I only chose it because it was the least aurally offensive of all the rings available, and because I was unable to program Hedwig's theme into this phone by hand, since I am certainly not going to pay for a ringtone for a phone I hardly ever use.

Anyway, the phone then made a tinkling shooting star sound, which is the sound it makes when I get a message of the textual persuasion, which I always get when I ignore a call or miss one by accident, which I also usually ignore if I am doing something else, but then... I got another tinkling shooting star sound and I wondered, 'well, what the hell was that?!' So I checked and the person who I did not know had left a message.  And curiosity beat out. My logic being, if it was actually an important call for me from a number I didn't recognize I should know what it was, or if it was something important for someone else like "Billy, it's Devon, mama's being mauled by a snow leopard, you have to come home from the bar RIGHT NOW!" I might wanna let them know that they dialed the wrong number, for mama's sake.

But it wasn't for me, and it wasn't Devon calling for Billy, it was Ron, calling for Josh.

Hey Josh, it's Ron.  I'm in Montana for a few more days so give me a call when you get off work, dude, okay?! I wanna hang out. See ya man!

I can only assume that Ron was in town for something having to with a medical marijuana convention because this was the rest of the exchange when I texted to let him know that Josh was not getting his messages:

Me: Wrong number- sorry!

4:40pm Ron: What is the #

Me (thinking, doesn't your phone have that feature where you can see who you dialed? I thought that was standard, but fine, whatever...): XXX-XXX-XXXX (only I put my phone number instead of Xs, obviously, although I can't see that it would have made a difference had I not used numbers).

5:09pm Ron: Got it dude thanx when u off work

Are you fucking kidding me?! You were asking me, the person on the receiving end of the wrong phone call, what Josh's actual number is... *facepalm*

Me: This really isnt josh. XXX-XXX-XXXX has never had a male owner. (Screw capitalization and punctuation for wrong numbers, let them think I am dumb, what do I care?)

5:59pm  Ron: Cool send me a pic so I know this aint josh

FFS... really?! Now I have to sext you to get you to stop calling? But I would have sent a picture if I had had the capability to send pictures just to get him to go away. It would have looked a lot like this:

Yes,  I would have hired a skywriter for the occasion.

But instead, I just ignored him, while being annoyed and partially amused. Until 8:46 pm when I received yet another call from Ron, which again, I ignored. And again, he left a message... and again, I was too curious and had to listen to it.

Josh- Ron. Dude, give me a call.


If he calls again, I am texting him a link to this post.

 *fine, I wasn't really jazzercising, but that is more pleasant than what I was really doing, just trust me on this one.


  1. has he called? did you send him a link to this post? I would just text him a link anyway! this is need to know :P x

  2. I will update on my facebook page iffin he calls back. =)

  3. Awesome dude! So next time, just text him Ron's "new" number...and make sure it's the number to the local NA...or better yet, the number to White Castle

  4. Totally text him this URL

    (Dude! Leave her alone!)

  5. Hahahaha, as if you're his personal DEX? Asswipe.

  6. Dude, are those your real thighs?!?!?

  7. @Esb - Yes? I draw myself pretty much exactly as I look... except I have a nose, and hands with fingers... and my eyes are slightly closer together.

  8. Don't forget the sexiness you exude from every pore ;)

  9. Our house line is one number off from a psychiatrists office that specializes in people with paranoia...

  10. jazzercising. hahahahahaha. You're silly.

  11. If the texts continue, your reply needs to be:

    "Dude, stop texting -- she'll find out! Then what will we do? You are my life."

    or something similar.

  12. i wonder what josh would have sent a picture of after an exchange like would probably still have involved nose picking i'm betting.

  13. I tried calling XXX-XXX-XXXX, but that totally isn't even your real number. I got some dude named Josh. Ugh.

  14. Yesterday my daughter called the wrong number, the guy called back and said he was gonna get his knife...ugh Texas.


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