Don't get excited. Hanukkah gifts are never good, unless your parents are really rich and have something to prove and I am neither your parents, nor rich. I am funny... so this Hanukkah will be funny, and cheap, and fairly inappropriate.
On the first night of Hanukkah I got you:
(If you are visiting the site, you get to click the link below to open your presents...otherwise it will just look weird and you will have to pretend you are opening things as you scroll down)
PEE-WEE Portable Unisex Urine Bags!
They're Engineered by NASA!
(claim not necessarily factual)
I don't know quite what these are but I have an inkling that you pee into them, AND they are 99.9% effective.
They can be used by Frat Boys, Military Personnel, Fire Fighters, Hippy Lumberjacks, and Elaine Benes, so if you happen to be one of those people, you are in luck!
I'm kind of stumped by "bag gels 24oz. of waste" though I imagine "gels" is being used as a verb, and I am now going to google the capacity of a human bladder to find out how many people can pee in this bag before a new one needs to be used, since it can be used multiple times, according to bullet point six.
Okay, according to Brittanica.com, "The desire to micturate begins at around a content of 400 ml but it can be voluntarily overridden until the content reaches 600–800 ml."
So that works out to about two people, if they don't really have to pee, or overflowing one bag if you really don't want to pee in a bag, despite the fact that it is 99.9% effective, and so have been holding it to avoid peeing in said bag, and will, despite its promise, probably experience a spill or splashback.
Just let me know how it works out for you in your thank you note.
I was going to ship you a Narwhalicorn but Amazon was out. Happy holidays >:S
ReplyDeleteThose sons of bitches! I would have loved a Narwhalicorn!
ReplyDeleteThe pee-wee you sent me already had urine in it.Thanks for nothing you re-gifter.
ReplyDeleteI like all three pictures.
ReplyDeleteThe Pee-Wee portable urine bags are a great idea for a gift.
Happy Hanuka! Hag Hanuka Sameah!
Ha! Be glad it's the peepee bags and not a portable poo packager!
ReplyDeleteThat's so thoughtful JRose. And at 6.99, it's a STEAL!
ReplyDeleteI think truck drivers could use them. I've heard of many horror stories of how truckers will use a gallon of milk container as a urinal so they don't have to stop....then throw them out the window. At least these are biodegradable. *ew*
ReplyDeleteDon't drink the "lemonade" you find on the side of the road........ :(
Sometimes you get a gift that just leaves you speechless.
ReplyDelete(Is there anywhere you can legally use one of these anyway?)
I love it! Plus, the explanation comes with new vocabulary words! Micturate? I'm totes sayin' that from now on.
ReplyDeleteWowza. I could use them when I'm experiencing cocoonitis (aka I dont wanna get outta bed: http://mayorgia.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-whale.html)
ReplyDeleteThe lazy man's toilet