So good news, I'm NORMAL! (says the doctor I saw today) Only not really, at all. I just was so awesome before that my normal is like slug for other people and until I get money to see someone else or become a total invalid, I can suck it.
Actually, they say I am depressed, and I think if they say that just a few more times, I may actually become depressed (which might be their goal), or I might start lighting things on fire randomly while shouting gibberish and eating good and plentys, which should tell you how much I dislike being told that I am depressed when I am not motherfucking depressed.
Now stressed? I am stressed. I wish they would give me a prescription to deal with said overwhelming stress as it would entail a large never-depleting bank account, a personal masseuse, a bacon butler ™, and lots of ME time.
*sigh* I really like good n plenty.
ReplyDeleteI say you do like one dude did on House and start taking people hostage until you get some damned medical treatment that's worth a damn.
ReplyDeleteI really love banana slugs. I know that wasn't the point of this post. And I know that banana slugs might seem like a strange thing to love. But I really do love them. I spent hours one day watching one cross a path on Vancouver Island.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're stressed. (Not depressed. Stressed.) Being told you're depressed must feel an awful lot like being told you're angry...eventually, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am not a fan of good and plenty. I hope you don't hold that against me.
ReplyDeleteNeither am I... I'd have to have snapped to eat them. =P
DeleteStress is a horrible thing. And it's no wonder you are stressed having to deal with Doctors giving you the runaround constantly... and then still having to pay said Doctors... and not having money to pay them because there is something wrong with you that prevents you from working, and that causes more stress, and the extra stress just exacerbates the problems. I should know because my fiance is going through a very similar situation with her migraines, ulcers and mysterious gallbladder problem... And REALLY stupid doctors.
ReplyDeleteLighting things on fire: if you could do this with your mind or your eyes, that would probably reduce a bit of stress, except you'd have the stress of needing to come up with a cool superhero (or super villain, depending on how it goes) name.
ReplyDeleteI also thought that "bacon butter" would probably help but only short-term, before I realized it was "butler". That might help, but then you'd have the stress of dealing with another person (unless it's a robot or machine of some kind, which would actually go well with the superhero/villain thing).
Punch a kitten. It works for me.
ReplyDelete(please know that I am kidding)
Nope, going out now to steal a kitten from a pet store just so I can punch its cute little fluffy face, AND IT IS ALL ON YOU BUB!
DeleteAlso gonna poop on some goldfish... in said pet shop.
DeleteI'm sorry you are going through all that crap Jrose. Are there ANY good, legitimate alternative doctors in your area?
ReplyDeleteSometimes they have insight into problems that mainstream doctors miss.
What does Abergongon mean?
Don't know. I don't have money to pay real doctors let alone alternative doctors, so I haven't really looked.
DeleteAnd it means something along the lines of "I am gonna set you motherfuckers on fire in your pants if you do not stop with this shit. Also, good and plentys are gross. Lord save me. Amen."
I got a run-around for a year, and to top it off, I figured out my own health problem. It turned out that my body was just reacting in a way the the docs had never seen to wheat. I found it out by going on a series of elimination diets (for 2 weeks I would eliminate one thing: dairy, egg, sugar, and wheat all took turns). Appairently, I'm very very sesitive to wheat (gluten). So I completely understand the stress of having to pay idiot docs for services they did not provide. I wish you the best of luck!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't step on the banana slugs, they're slippery. LOL
I'm sorry you're not depressed. Because that would be an easy fix...just be happy! I had a doctor tell me once instead of taking sleeping meds I should read the bible every night. He's also the same doctor who told my brother he should go to church instead of seeking anti-depressants. Doctors suck. You rock.
ReplyDeleteGood and Plenty are nasty.
ReplyDeleteI once found a banana slug that was half the legnth of my foot. I took a picture.
When I am stressed I turn into mega uuber bitch. So we try to avoid that behavior. It's not working
I'm having fun putting my valentine package together!!
i don't have anything new - i agree w/ the general consensus that bad doctors, misdiagnoses and stress all suck.
ReplyDelete*HUGS* you, however, are AWESOME.