This pee post is nothing like the pudding post. For the record.
I want to know and understand the mechanism that makes me nearly pee on the bathroom floor every time I turn on the shower. Theories are that it is operant conditioning, like Pavlov's dogs, but I have to wonder if it is the same mechanism that makes me dream of bathrooms to discourage me wetting the bed.
Am I the only one that has this? I have polled my friends in the past and it seems that for the most part, men don't dream of bathrooms though some women do, I guess because guys have a built-in physical pee deterrent (morning wood, I mean... that is its purpose, no?).
But if you have no idea what I am talking about, here is a repeating feature of my dreams, nightly:
Crazy things happen.
Find a unicorn crafted from green banana peels.*
Kill a zombie cat who is actually one of my friends.*
Oh wait, I have to pee.
Hrm, is there a bathroom anywhere?
Oh, look, here is one, and then my brain presents me with a way to relieve myself, but there is always a hitch...
(click to biggify)
And so every night, I am treated to a new and novel variation (or four) of "trick bathrooms" to wake me up to go pee.*I would like to reveal that these are both actual dreams that I had this week.
So....have any of the "trick bathrooms" failed on you? Peeing the bed as an adult? NBD. These things happen.
ReplyDeleteNot once. In fact, after an incident in first grade was when I recall it starting.
Deleteyour dream brain is treating you right. once, when i first got married, i dreamed that i was a little kid peeing through my bathing suit at the beach and woke up to a wet bed. apparently my bathroom trigger didn't do the trick for me. my poor husband was broken in for sure by then.
ReplyDeleteI usually don't actually get to pee. Though when I do, I am usually dreaming I have a UTI so that nothing actually comes out. I think it has been mightily close some times. And also, your husband is clearly a keeper (from this information).
Deletehe is a keeper. and not just because he stayed with me after i peed on him and he had to get up for a midnight shower. it was like sleepovers with my childhood best friend all over again.
DeleteI have those dreams too! I have very similar dreams to the first two you drew. I have these weird dreams where the toilets are all in a huge room and very public, and there are either no stalls or the stalls don't have doors and people are walking around. And then when I am desperate enough to try going anyway, the toilet is always super disgusting/dirty.
ReplyDeleteI hate the dreams where I am in a huge room full of toilets and NONE of them are clean.
Yup, toilet after toilet, sometimes room after room of toilets, and none are usable, or there are SO many people there is no way I would pee in front of them. I also have dreams of huge windows that let crowds of people look in at me.
DeleteUsually these dream make sure I don't wet the bed, But I always wake up feeling really disturbed.
DeleteOne time I had a dream that a toilet peed on me. I guess it was my brain's inherent guilt about abusing the toilet's human rights on a daily basis by making it eat my waste.
ReplyDeleteI had one of those dreams last night actually. It is always some convoluted reason I can't use the toilet; too dirty, no doors, people, locked doors, or (my favorite) I have to catch a train. Yea I don't get the last one at all, but no matter if there was a train in my dream before or not, suddenly I will realize I am at a train station and have to catch the train or else. I always figure there will be a toilet on the train, and alas there never is and I am left waiting for the train ride to end.
ReplyDeleteI totally have those dreams! So many disgusting bathrooms in the world, and I have to visit them all in my dreams.
ReplyDeleteI never dream about pee. I love your pee dreams though.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I saw a Narwall (spelling?) on Frozen Planet the other day and immediately wanted to call you. I didn't even know they were real!
You are not the first to have been unaware of the existence of the Narwhal. My BBF, Luc, thought I made them up too... or that they were made up. He didn't know it was a real animal. But they are... and they are still probably dicks.
DeleteAlso, every time the commercial for Frozen Planet comes on I yelp out "NARWHAL!!!"
Now, have your kid draw me that zoo I asked for... with narwhals too.
I have the pee dreams too, but in mine, the toilets are in weird perilous positions. Like I have to climb up on a counter, and then it's a little kid potty that is disgustingly filthy (of course), and then it is in huge danger of spilling its contents all over me when I maneuver to squat over it. That dream happened just a couple of nights ago. I had another one where the toilets were mounted way up on the wall, like above the stall doors. So, yeah. Just wanted to say me too. Right there with you on the pee dreams.
ReplyDeleteI have the pee dreams too, but in mine, the toilets are in weird perilous positions. Like I have to climb up on a counter, and then it's a little kid potty that is disgustingly filthy (of course), and then it is in huge danger of spilling its contents all over me when I maneuver to squat over it. That dream happened just a couple of nights ago. I had another one where the toilets were mounted way up on the wall, like above the stall doors. So, yeah. Just wanted to say me too. Right there with you on the pee dreams.
ReplyDeleteI've had dreams where I had to stick my arm in a used toilet to retrieve something. Also, I've peed in a dream and woke up terrified that I wet the bed, but I didn't. Weird.
ReplyDeleteI have those dreams all the time! I thought I was the only one. The toilets are always disgusting and overflowing and the floor of the bathroom has water and filth on it, or its a toilet with a plant in it or something.
ReplyDeleteAnd what is ridiculous about all of this, is that I've peed in many a bar parking lot to avoid toilets like this, so I dont understand why I cant do that in my dreams...
Ahahaha! My first thought was "Noo, I don't remember having any dreams involving toilets..."
ReplyDeleteBut after you described the trick bathrooms... OH MY GOSH YES. I HATE those dreams where you're in weird change-room bathroom areas with little or no privacy or doors in the wrong place and everyone staring at you when you try to go! And yes, I get them often. Funnily enough, it never occurred to me that my bladder might be responsible!
THANK YOU for posting this! reading it, and all the comments, makes me feel quite better. i've had these dreams for years, and the bathrooms are always in odd, crazy places, or mazes, or huge w/ lots of stalls w/o doors - or the doors don't fit, like dressing room doors. some of the bathrooms are really neat, and make me think of the room of requirement from HP, but mostly i long for the time when i realize it's a dream & i can wake up & ACTUALLY go to the loo! lol thank you again!!
ReplyDeleteoh yes, my have-to-pee dreams usually end up in some ladies locker room (with naked old ladies) and the typical Asian squatty potty with stall doors too high and assorted nastiness around the rim that will most surely get on my pants should I try and pull them down. I swear it's like something out a of Silent Hill game. Although those dreams instead of waking me up to use the bathroom, usually tend to make me just about almost but not quite pee the bed. Lovely post!
ReplyDelete