Thursday, May 17, 2012

Are You Experienced?

One of the crappiest things people can do, in my opinion, is insisting, when someone reports their personal experience, that said person with experience is clearly stupid/crazy/lying/in denial and is unaware of what is going on in their own life.

This applies to all sorts of experiences,
Like fat people who are told:

or writers of blargs who are told:
Yeah. Not depressed.
Does it ever manifest in being happy and content with your life, and being really motivated, because then maybe, yes, I am terribly depressed, but otherwise, NO, I AM NOT AND I AM GOING TO SHOVE A WAREHOUSE FULL OF TWINKIES UP YOUR BUTT IF YOU DON'T STOP TELLING ME I AM!

If someone is trying to tell you that your account of your own experience is wrong, or tries to assign feelings to you without really listening to you or even asking you how you feel, chances are, they are either trying to manipulate you, or they are an asshole.

After having been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last week, I was sent to see a therapist yesterday to treat my "depression caused" Fibromyalgia. I willingly submitted to testing and answered questions on a little digital box to measure my sanity:

Er, does that count having to wake up to pee 10 times a night?
No. You have a reason for that, it means if you don't have a valid reason.
Okay, then no.

What? I don't abuse drugs at all! What the hell kind of question is this!? I don't think you can abuse a substance less than not doing them at all, unless I started doing nice things for drugs, like making them fancy dream houses with a working elevator or something?


What's going on here? I mean they haven't in a while.

 Well, I guess true, now...

And after about 10 minutes, I had read and answered all of the questions to the best of my ability, since it asked many loaded questions along the line of "Have you stopped beating your wife? Y/N" What!? Wait! I don't even have a wife. Crap. This test should have been written by someone with a background in ambiguities.

And then the very lovely man who was assigned to talk to me plugged the test box into the the computer and a piece of paper issued from his printer with my results and after reviewing them, he said "As I am sure you are well aware, there is not a damned thing wrong with you psychologically." Which is what I have been saying to my doctors all along.


  1. so many a**holes, so little time....

    love and llamas,

  2. I think you need to have that guy make a recording of that exact statement and bring it with you to the next appointment...or make it into a ringtone. Nothing more day brightening than hearing that!

  3. *HUGS* those tests are awful. you could walk into those tests perfectly content & happy & by the time you've checked the last answer, you're stressed and ready to do damage to something! LOL

    hooray for GOOD doctors, tho!

  4. Ugh, sounds like the questions asked when you apply for a job... I never know what to put on those questionnaires.

  5. I guess that the people who write these things aren't aware that true and false are not actually the same thing as yes and no? Here's hoping they don't manage to cure your contentedness. :P

  6. Living in India, this sort of thing doesn't come up - not the depression part, I'm sure there are plenty of depressed people - I mean the random testing that wants to go out of its way to emphasise the problem as much as possible. Weird world!

  7. I recently took an on-line medical test, including a psychological evaluation. Because I sometimes have trouble falling asleep and sometimes feel tired, I can't take the cheap malaria medication because it might cause depression. :P

    Thankfully we don't require long-term malaria medication. It's the none-vaccinable Dengue Fever we have to worry about. Yay!

  8. wow, you have pain so you're diagnosed with a condition of chronic pain. I'm so sorry. Other than that, are you sure your mental ups and down aren't because of your mental wife beatings? I mean, sometimes she gets on your nerves but no one deserves that kind of beat down. Take it out on those insulting narwhals.hugs.

  9. I once applied for a job that asked if I smoked crack before breakfast or something like that. I told them I didn't want to work for a company stupid enough to ask that.
    Funny blog.

  10. I am sorry you were diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I feel your pain. Literally. I feel your pain. Fibromyalgia is kicking my ass right now.

  11. Narwhals are always insulting me. Maybe it's because I have a statue of one that I use for a letter opener.

  12. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Did you tell them you are only depressed after you take drugs and abuse your wife at the same time? It's hard to fit it all into one day and that could depress anyone. Luck!

  13. I kinda want to do the "honey I shrunk the kids" thing and go hang out in the pot dreamhouse.


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