I've come to the conclusion that if I ever find myself on a reality show, this will be my speech for the interview room:
Yes, apparently the reality show I am in takes place in a partially demolished building in Russia. It's probably a reality cooking show or something with magical ponies.
I don't necessarily think I would actually lose said magical pony cooking show, because, I'm pretty awesome, I just don't want to have people at home rolling their eyes at me, as I do, with the usual competition chatter:
- I didn't come here to lose.
- I'm the best and I came here to prove it!
- Failure ISN'T an option!
I'm more realistic than that. I think failure is always an option, or well, a very possible outcome. You may not CHOOSE to fail, but you seriously need to understand that the odds are pretty much pushing you that way and it is better to choose to fail than to have failure thrust upon you, by, say, falling off a cliff and breaking every bone in your body on TV. Yeah, I'd rather choose to fail less painfully in that case.
I prefer to think of "magical pony cooking show" as a show about cooking magical ponies. I would actually watch that reality show. And you have to catch the ponies first, but they evade you with magic!
ReplyDeleteThat is clearly how the building got partially demolished.
DeleteOh reality tv. You're only a failure if you don't end up on celebrity rehab sometime after your show.
ReplyDeleteJudging by the photo, I think you actually are in a Ghost Hunters episode by mistake. Except it's well-lit. And you don't look artificially dramatized.
ReplyDeleteI'm so getting that shirt with my first paycheck. I'm going to wear it everywhere that isn't work.
ReplyDeleteWell done for bringing attention to the plight of narwhals on national TV.
ReplyDeleteAlso, where can I sign up to join Chernobyl Big Brother?
I have friends who kee checking for casting calls for Next Great Artist, because they think it would be awesome if I were in it. I'm certain it's not because they think I am a great artist, but because they think it would be hilarious to see me strangle someone with my bare hands on national TV.
ReplyDeleteI have failed enough to know that it doesn't hurt, and I learn a lot more from that than by winning. Although, winning feels terrific.
ReplyDelete"I'd like cheese on my entire family" - how funny blog name!! :D I guess you're LDS? I'm too, from Finland :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
Susanna
http://susanna-behindmyeyes.blogspot.com
Man, I want that shirt, but I think I would have a hard time explaining it to my kids....
ReplyDelete