He hasn't actually gotten a fish yet, because, as he informs me:
Mr. Rose: I have to get gravel and fish food and you have to get it an "air stone" because fish will use up all the oxygen in the water and suffocate.
Me: Wait, that doesn't sound right... if they use up all the oxygen, does that mean they are just swimming in liquid hydrogen? Does it cease to be water? Since water is H2O and they're using ALL the oxygen...
Mr. Rose [interrupting]: Fine, let me rephrase that. I have to get an air stone because if I just put the fish in there it will die. I don't know why.
Me: I think it is because fish are assholes.
This is going on my list of favorite posts, FO'SHO'!!!
ReplyDeleteWith fish there's an inverse relationship between the amount of money you paid for the fish (or how much you like it) and how long it lives too. Expensive ones will be in your toilet before your toilet brush is, while free fish will seemingly outlive you.
ReplyDeleteFish are assholes! Finally, someone else has noticed!
ReplyDeleteFish are HARD to keep alive. I won a goldfish once. Did NOT last long.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahaha I love how he rephrased it :D
ReplyDeleteFish are assholes unless you've got a lot of them. Then it's like having a more modern version of a lava lamp. Hours of peaceful tranquility.
Haha, I think that just about sums it up nicely. Definitely a way to teach kids about mortality ;-)
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend has the most resilient goldfish ever. He has gone three weeks without feeding it and it hasn't died. It just hibernates. I named it Porkchop because it's a little fatass. It also lives in really dirty water, but it's just like whatever, I'm a fish. No hair, don't care. Or something.
ReplyDeleteMy ex-boyfriend owned a fish that I was stupid enough to pet. It died the next day.
ReplyDeleteFish kill themselves in order to annoy people? It all makes sense!
ReplyDeleteI knew someone who had a gold fish and when it died, he ate it. Yum yum!
ReplyDeleteActually, they die because their poop poisons the tank if you don't let colonies of beneficial bacteria form in the gravel first. Aren't fish delightful? (tell him to get those tiny aquatic frogs instead, they're way more adorable)
ReplyDelete