Matzo, Matzo, Meme.

It's Passover again, and my insides are enjoying the therapeutic effects of matzo. I have managed not to hurt myself with it this year, so far.  For those of you have never eaten matzo, beyond it being stabby, like I covered last year, it is exceptionally bland. This is most likely because it is made of flour and water, only. No salt, no happiness, just 40 years of suffering compacted into one 8 inch square.

And yet, I love it... if, and only if, it is covered COMPLETELY with something delicious, like butter. And I mean completely.  There can not be a centimeter that is not completely slathered because then, it tastes just like matzo, and matzo, it doesn't taste very good.

Missing!

I've lost my sense of taste.  I noticed yesterday morning that "the best strawberry preserves in the world" that I had on my leftover matzo tasted, well, fairly crappy.  All day, everything tasted blah and it was making me pretty grumpy.  And then, I realized, while it is barely there, I seem to have lost my ability to taste sweet.  And now it is branching out to more flavors... I think umami might be going too.

I suppose it is also possible that it is not lost, but was actually stolen... though I have no idea what someone would want with my sense of taste, unless they lost THEIR sense of taste and were looking to replace it, knowing what good taste I have.

(On a serious note, for those who worry- I am fairly certain it is either a side effect of one of my medicines, or a new migraine symptom... if it continues, I shall talk to my doctor, scout's honor. I hope it passes quickly though, I have lots of Easter candy to consume and I would like to taste it.)

Let My People Go!

It's Passover, which means, it is time for Matzo-related injuries.  If you've never had Matzo, let me clue you in... it is some stabby shit. Think 'stabbing power of Doritos if Doritos were twice as thick.'  And I am not talking about the rounded-edged Doritos that they likely switched to because they were undoubtedly getting sued for injuring so many unsuspecting customers, I am talking old school, 'put it in your mouth wrong and bleed for half an hour' Doritos.

On the first night of Passover, while eating a buttered piece of Matzo, I managed to puncture my mouth, and my throat, as well as stabbing myself in the face with it when I missed my mouth whilst I was complaining about stabbing myself in the mouth area.

Of course, I like to think that the sharp edges are part of the lesson.  "You think being stabbed in the mouth by a bland cracker made of only flour and water is bad... try being a slave.. try wandering around the desert for 40 years... now complain about a freaking piece of unleavened bread, you ungrateful bastard!"

But my people are well known for making the best of a bad situation, so, to take advantage of their natural properties, I think I will work on fashioning my own line of self-defense items made of Matzo... Jewish Throwing Stars, anyone?

It's really hard to nibble the hole out of the center though...

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On another note, I have lost one of my followers in the influx of other awesome followers and I want to find you again.  Your blog is pink, it might have princesses in the title. You once dressed as Rita Skeeter for Halloween, and it was your profile image for a while but not any more... You have great recipes. I need the link to your blog again, please!