Self-Affirmations from the Neural Network

I can't help but be inspired by Janelle Shane's work with neural networks. Last time, she trained her AI to create recipes that looked absolutely mouthwatering, in that way that your mouth waters when you're about to hurk, actually, but today, she has trained her AI to generate titles for positive self-talk courses.

From her site, AIWeirdness.com:

There’s a self-affirmation talk on Spotify where a voice says things like “I am confident” over a synthesized choir. It has been rather vigorously marketed, not just for general self-confidence skills, but also under titles like:

I Will Win the Lottery
I Will Improve My Meteorology Skills
Attract Your Dream Car
Lord Help Me to Improve My Trainspotting Skills
Improve Your Ear Health
Lord Help Me to Improve My Bongo Skills
Improve Your Beekeeping Skills
Learn Welsh

Apparently, there are 4,510 different titles for this sort of self-affirmation program. She fed all of these titles to her network and asked for its own suggestions.

It came up with some great and also horrifying results like:

I Will Improve Otter Skills
Improve Your Handsoming Skills
Become More Dirty
I Will Find Headaches
Improve Your Scab

Being ever so helpful, I have made posters for a few of them that really spoke to me.

Be More Of Mice

Improve Your Kite Faith.

I Will Attract Human

And I really think that this is good advice for anyone, especially Roy Moore.

Go check out the rest of Janelle's results with her AI (including some upcoming knitting patterns that are immensely cool) and sign up for her newsletter to get cool inside stuff. She's not paying me to say that, it's just really nerdy cool fun I think most people would enjoy.

for extra content

I'm A Meat Popsicle.

I prefer to shower at night, or in the afternoon. That way I can put off sitting around with my head damp and freezing for as long as possible. During the winter, in this little house we've moved into, I have found that showering at night is a problem. The fan in our bathroom that's activated by our light switch is a conduit directly to outside, so turning the switch on means I am pumping fast moving sub-arctic air into a room where a fine mist of water is supposed to be warming me up (and cleaning me, yadda yadda). So until I get fed up and buy a lamp for the bathroom, my solution currently is just showering in the dark. My husband thought I did this because I'm a goth or something. I really have no idea what he thinks I'm doing half the time because he never asks, really, he just dutifully turns off the light for me and goes away, probably wondering why the hell he married such a weirdo.

And, in other news, the brand new computer I bought... it died... two weeks after getting it. The hard drive has been replaced after much complaining and flailing. They kindly sent out an awesome nerd tech named Nic who talked to me about fun nerd topics while we waited for it to actually install.

And I am working hard on a new novel, writing at least an hour every day. It deals with current affairs and is an R rated vigilante thriller. Becoming a patron on patreon with the button below can get you access to excerpts weekly with a pledge of just 3 dollars a post (with no more than 4 posts a month- so a minimum of 12 bucks a month maximum! Wait, that was confusing. it could be 3-12 bucks for access to good stuff). There are also art bonuses for higher levels of patronage.

Making Crap Laws Work for You: Religious Freedom

So D. Trump just signed yet another executive order.

This one is "guaranteeing religious freedom" and allowing people to opt out of government rules based on "closely held religious beliefs." 

Of course, this is going to be used by some Americans to treat other Americans like dogshit, and that is completely unacceptable. The rule needs to be overturned, and hopefully, the 9th circuit gets on that soon, but in the meantime, how can we make this order work for us so we can benefit from the fuckery going on?

Guys, I came up with the perfect idea. I may be an atheist, but I was raised Jewish, so I have a pretty good grasp of the old testament... and I totally hold this passage in particular pretty close to my heart, what with the whole perpetually broke thing.

Deuteronomy 15:1-2

1 At the end of every seven years you shall grant a remission of debts. 2 This is the manner of remission: every creditor shall release what he has loaned to his neighbor; he shall not exact it of his neighbor and his brother, because the LORD'S remission has been proclaimed.

You know what that means?

Goodbye, federal student loan debt! After 7 years, you shouldn't have to pay that shit anymore.

According to Trump's order:

 "It shall be the policy of the executive branch to vigorously enforce Federal law’s robust protections for religious freedom. The Founders envisioned a Nation in which religious voices and views were integral to a vibrant public square, and in which religious people and institutions were free to practice their faith without fear of discrimination or retaliation by the Federal Government. For that reason, the United States Constitution enshrines and protects the fundamental right to religious liberty as Americans’ first freedom. Federal law protects the freedom of Americans and their organizations to exercise religion and participate fully in civic life without undue interference by the Federal Government. The executive branch will honor and enforce those protections."

I say we practice the hell out of the Judeo-Christian religion by demanding that the Federal Government forgive all loans after a period of 7 years. If people can keep other people from taking birth control, or can control what we can or can't do with our own bodies, surely we can demand to have our loans forgiven as GOD proclaims!

Clearly, I don't have a law degree. But if shit's gonna be unreasonable, I say we at least try find ways to make it work for us.

Forget Mensez, Here's Period Pocket!

If you have not seen this innovative new product, Mensez**, let me introduce you to it.

Dr Daniel Dopps, Kansas Chiropractor, is marketing a new way to control the ickiness of menstruation... literally gluing the labia shut so your period doesn't leak out. Genius, right!?

According to his Facebook page (which sadly has been taken down already, but this link works), women are idiots for not thinking of this before.

It's such an easy concept, you just apply this "Lip-stick" (get it, it sticks your "lips" together) comprised of amino acids and stuff and then it holds in all your oozing blood flow until you have to pee. Then, some magical formulation of glue that doesn't react to the moisture in blood lets go with the power of pee, and all the blood rushes out where he claims you never even have to look at it or touch it, which seems a pretty amazing claim, since he also says you need to clean up "down there" and apply more of this glue and then hold your labia together, presumably, until it dries enough to stick your junk together.

While this seems like a great idea, I think my idea, Period Pocket, will get the job done in a much easier and quicker way! With just a few pieces and a little glue, you can use your labia to capture all your blood without having to reapply any pesky glue. Allow me to illustrate!

The metal structure to the pocket is magnetic so you don't have to worry about movement making the pockets come unsnapped.

And, Period Pocket doesn't only have to be used during your period. You can also use it to store spare change or small snacks at other times of the month. Also helps with incontinence and overactive bladder*.


Of course, if you can't afford the low low price of $19.99 each month, you can always improvise with a plastic Zip-lock bag and some Krazy Glue. Just cut off the bottom of the bag, glue the opening to your vulva, and then yellow and blue makes green!




*may not actually help with incontinence or overactive bladder. It is really just a deconstructed coin purse.


** This is a real product, with a real patent. Or moreso, it is being marketed as a real product though it hasn't actually been formulated or tested yet because it is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever conceived. Honestly, gluing your labia together...

A Tale of IC

So, awhile ago, I wrote about my jerk faced bladder. After all kinds of horrific bladder-related tests, including the one where they put me under general anesthetic to fill up my bladder like a big festive balloon until it cracked, I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis.

Interstitial Cystitis or IC, is basically punishment from Satan in the form of the feelings of a UTI (urinary tract infection) because your bladder lining is faulty, with none of the therapeutic possibilities of things like antibiotics or cranberry juice.  In fact, cranberry juice is one of the things that makes it worse.

When I first started feeling the effects of IC, I was guzzling cranberry juice like a person desperate not to have yet another UTI, which only made my bladder angrier and angrier.

And then, like a misunderstood teenager, it began to self-injure

Once I figured out that I probably had IC, two years before it was finally diagnosed, I immediately started an IC diet to try to appease the angsty beast that was living in my groin, and it worked pretty okay, though it was (and is) inconvenient.

Basically nothing with acid, sourness, caffeine or deliciousness.

But, I also found that certain medicines that I had been prescribed for other issues also tore the hell out of my bladder. At 4:45 on a Friday about a year ago, I found myself on the phone, pleading with my urologist's office to give me something to stop the bladder pain before I found a bridge to jump off during the weekend.

What I got worked well enough that I did not have to go out searching for appropriately tall bridges. It is a handy dandy pill that I dissolve under my tongue made from the root of the mandrake. Mandrake or mandragora, if you remember from Harry Potter, is a powerful restorative.  It is used to return people who have been transfigured or cursed, to their original state.

 Actually, wait, no, it is an antispasmodic drug that soothes the muscles, so, I guess it would work to unpetrify someone who had been petrified by a basilisk (spoilers, sorry), as well as someone who has ridiculous cramps in their bladder that makes them feel like they have to pee every 2 seconds.

I was also introduced to the "Bladder Cocktail" which is likely not as fancy as it sounds at all.

Basically, it is the most wonderful thing ever invented, surely sent from any god that might exist who doesn't like punishing people for having a bladder. It's a mixture of lidocaine and heparin that coats your bladder and numbs the crap out of your bladder wall.

Now, you are likely wondering, like I was when this was first described to me... so... you just pee on yourself? Somehow, this magical concoction from heaven doesn't affect your ability to feel a full bladder, it just stops all the pain associated with having pee in your bladder, which is part of the actual problem with Interstitial Cystitis.

Now, there is a drug to coat your bladder with magic that is on the market called Elmiron, and it works pretty nicely, but it does have side effects.  In my case, along with a bunch of other drugs, it beat the hell out of my liver and I ended up in the ER thinking I was dying of liver failure where I was advised to maybe stop taking pills that were killing my liver. It also beats up your stomach really badly because it is housed in a capsule made of pure evil, but switching it into a generic gelatin pill capsule is enough to combat that... but not if your liver isn't working.

So... I have a crappy bladder disease, and I am managing it with mandrake pills and emergency bladder cocktails when the disease flares beyond what I can control with diet, because I can't handle the pill that would make my life normal, which is part of why I decided to write this post; because right this very moment, my disease is flaring and my mandrake doesn't seem to be working so I called my doctor's office for my "you can come in any time, immediately, no problem, emergency bladder cocktail" and immediately, in this case, translates to "in 11 days." ELEVEN DAYS!!!!

So, I figured you should know what happened, just in case I can't find relief and need to find a suitably tall bridge before I can make it to next Thursday.

Cheeseblarg's Anti-Upskirt Undies!

I came up with the perfect solution to Massachusetts' "Upskirt" problem.

Cheeseblarg's Anti-upskirt Undies feature a copyrighted image on the crotch of your panties and comes in
many different designs. Anytime these images are uploaded to the internet, Cheeseblarg will sue the upskirt uploader on your behalf to keep your undies off the internet!

* Two Can Play At This Game can be fitted in a tiny spy cam to see who is spying on your stuff.

If your government won't protect your undies from perverts, Cheeseblarg will protect them from copyright violations!

Cheeseblarg on Global Warming

I was rage forced to do this comic because of Facebook posts by an old schoolmate who repeatedly posts weather reports about polar vortexes and snow and then adds the oh-so-witty "Global warming strikes again!" or something similar that reads as, "Yada, yada, I don't understand science!"

It's okay if you don't understand science. It is not a crime... and neither is talking about science when you don't understand it, by poorly quoting other people who don't understand it either... unfortunately.

It would be super awesome if people didn't talk about science when they don't understand it, for the sanity of people who do and so as to not infect more people with idiot ideas, but alas, there are scientific studies that say that when people are really bad at things, they are unaware of the deficiency (which is why I always thought I did really awesome on all of my algebra tests in college when I failed most of them*), so my request is really likely to fall of deaf ears through the fault of our silly monkey brains.

*-I was a late algebra bloomer - after I started substitute teaching, I used the teacher's guide and worked backwards until I finally understood it all.

Life Lessons: Inside Voices

I've noticed, since it's heading towards summer (here in Montana, it is not quite there yet), humans, particularly of the vagina carrying type, have seriously upped the negative self-talk. You know, where you announce to the world (or repeatedly to yourself) that your (name of human body part) is (adverbly/adjectively) (negative adjective).

 I used to do this ALL THE TIME.  In health class in 11th grade, we all had to introduce ourselves, and my introduction was, "I'm JRose, and I'm fat." and that wasn't a simple declarative like I use now, it was an attempt at being mean to myself, and to let everyone know that I was aware of my (negative adjective) fat, and they didn't need to tell me because believe me, I thought I was (negative superlative adjective-er) than they could ever think me.

And I was superlatively unhappy.  Even if my body changed, I wasn't happy. No matter what happened, I had a negative remark to fit the occasion, and while there were certain jerks in my life who helped me cumulate those negative thoughts, mostly, it was me, repeating them in my head, allowing people and companies to steal my self-esteem and sell it back to me wholesale. It is a lucrative business, selling self-esteem.

But here is what I learned... there is an unending supply of self-esteem out there, so much that no one ever needs to mine it from someone else. All it takes is... not buying into that bullshit.

Now, I am not saying that everyone should be a stubbly smelly bridge troll, unless you are into that sort of thing (not that there's anything wrong with that), but if you are tired of feeling like crap about yourself all the time, you can totally stop. You don't have to do a thing other than telling your jerk brain to shut the hell up when it starts nagging you. When it starts saying, "Jesus, Joe and Mary, think your thighs could possibly make anymore sound when you're walking!?" Say to that voice, "Yes, asshole, corduroy, now shut up. I have some Doctor Who replacement to think about... ain't nobody got time for your smack talk." And when it says "You have wrinkles at the corners of your eyes, you looking fucking ancient." say, "I laugh a lot, that's why, bitch. I'm happy and I have fun when you aren't here talking shit about me! So I get all squinty -- enough that, of course, my skin shows it. That is what skin is built to do." And when it says, "You're a loser!" Say, "YOU'RE A LOSER! SHUT UP! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH ANYWAY?! You know we are working here in the same body, right, if I'm all the shit you say I am, you are too, and you know what, neither of us really are, and there is no reason for any of this! I am making the choice to silence you RIGHT NOW. ZIP IT!"

Does this mean sit in a hole for the rest of your life pleased as punch about how awesome you are without ever doing anything positive? Probably not. I mean you could, if you really wanted to, but there are very few people I know who think sitting in a hole singing their own praises is terribly fulfilling. But it does mean that you can cut yourself some slack.

For example, I don't run, I have no desire to run, I don't think I would even really want to run if someone was chasing me with a machete.

Not once in my life have I enjoyed running, so things that pertain to my skills as a runner are not things that I worry about. Why should I? I have no interest in it, so it's not something I should be ashamed of having no skills in.  I do worry about my skills as an artist, it is important to me, and is fulfilling. But sitting here telling myself that this artist does better work than I do does me absolutely no good. Just like telling myself that my knees are not what I consider ideal, visually, does nothing positive for me. They are the knees I have. They have gotten me through 36 years of walking, and skipping, and sitting, and hopping, and other things that I won't write about because my mom reads this (Hi Mom!), and I would rather have them than have no knees at all. Seriously, my lower legs would be much less appealing if they were trailing behind me attached by some rope and a twist tie. So, I am not saying that you should never work on things that are important to you.  That is not what this is about.

I'm just saying, there is a good chance that your life, and the lives of those people you surround yourself with, might just be a little more awesome without that dick voice in our heads being allowed free run of the place. That little voice is usually just trying to fuck shit up, because it is what we have all been trained to do, and it's easy, it's habit, and because for some reason, this society has some sort of beef against people who actually like themselves. Companies have a HUGE interest in convincing you to hand over your self-esteem so they can mass produce it, package it in fancy wrapping, and then sell it back to you by working in collusion with that little fucker in your head. Your self-esteem is YOURS. The word "self" kind of assumes that... you already have it. Sometimes, you just need to shut that son of a bitching voice inside your head off so you can hear it.

That said, my challenge to everyone reading this, should you like to experiment, is to do what you can to shut that voice up for one full day. Just one day of no complete negative self-talk (complete, as in allowing the whole thought to come out unchallenged). That voice is gonna yell like a toddler having a temper tantrum most likely, so don't let the backup voice chastise you for the first voice trying to get its way, but try, for one day to see how you feel without negative self-talk, and let me know how it goes!

Not Trying To vs. Trying Not To

I have come across many people in my life who don't seem to know the difference between "not trying to do something" and "trying not to do something." For instance a person elbowing you in a booth at a restaurant, because you are left handed and the person to your left is right handed and you are trying to stay in your space but they keep ELBOWING YOU and finally you say "Hey, could you not do that please?" and their retort is usually, "I wasn't trying to elbow you..." with a shitty sneer, because they are likely your sibling and so they have that sneer for no reason you can ascertain because you are a darling little sister and/or brother and you don't know what you have done to deserve this treatment and it's probably just hormones but it hurts your feelings and arm, nonetheless, and really, their retort means nothing because what you wanted from them is that they try NOT to elbow you because you think your arm might be beginning to bruise.

So here are some handy graphics to illustrate the difference between "not trying to" and "trying not to" for people who may not recognize the difference:

(image sources:  Kim Jong Un & Dalai Lama)

Nope, Kim Jong Un is not TRYING to start a war. He wants to bomb the crap out of us, but not really looking for a war. Dalai Lama on the other hand, totally peaceful and awesome, and speaking of awesome...

(image sources Jennifer Lawrence & Ann Coulter)

I think we can all agree that Jennifer Lawrence is absolutely awesome without trying... and that Ann Coulter is absolutely succeeding at not being awesome.

And two videos to illustrate our last set, which also illustrates how to be a creepy Weeping Angel Kitty...

Not trying to make noise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47AH9LBqm8s 

Trying not to make noise

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzzjgBAaWZw

How to Annoy the World in 5 Simple Steps

Last night, while watching the Olympics Closing Ceremony, I came up with the best idea ever, which I have drawn up to share with you all.
This is all the more reason that I need to become rich and famous... or just rich, really.

Obligatory (Inappropriate) Olympics Post

If you have been following me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I am watching the Olympics. I am expanding on my commentary here, though, for your hopeful amusement.

Check in on Getglue: Olympics Opening Ceremony - I'm only here for Voldie vs. Mary Poppins.

I have no idea what this pommel horse shit is supposed to look like. They just remind me of fancy paraplegics. #inappropriate #olympics

Honestly, their legs going all twirly and stuff freaks me out, and my research tells me that paraplegics actually can and do compete in pommel horse exercises, so I feel slightly less like an ass for my observation.

Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.

I usually like fat boys, but I wouldn't kick these swimmers out of my bed. #olympics #perving

Unless they were jumping on it, because that is just annoying.

I hate volleyball. I'm watching it, because it is on, but I still suffer from face:ball related PTSD from my high school years. #olympics

When I was in high school, the only sports my school had was basketball and volleyball. Our lunch period was an hour and twenty minutes and often, after people ate (or before) they would play volleyball in the courtyard. I liked a boy on the volleyball team and no matter where I sat to watch him play, without fail, the ball would come soaring at me and hit me in the face*.  It's like my face was a ball magnet. I think I stopped liking the boy just so I wouldn't have to watch him play anymore.

*That was also the year that my dad taught me that you could kill a person by jambing your palm into their nose, so I was particularly afraid that the ball would hit me that way and kill me.

Does gymnastics cause sexual excitation, or are all the male gymnasts wearing erection shaped cups? #inappropriate #olympics


Seriously, have you seen this? It's like wang central up in the gymnastics competition.



I am seriously in awe of these amazing athletes though, and I think they are all awesome. Their talent is beyond anything that I would have the dedication to do. I can hardly talk myself into brushing my teeth, let alone training for years to be the glowing unicorns of sports that they are!

Rush's Bain Conspiracy Goes Deeper!

It was reported that Rush Limbaugh made the claim that the character Bane (who was featured in the 1993 DC Batman Comics) was created to be the villain in "The Dark Knight Rises" to conjure thoughts of Bain Capital, which was designed to undermine Mitt Romney's presidential bid.

This unearthed woodcut comic from the 1500s shows that it goes way deeper than that.

Zombies in Miami? It's more likely than you think!

I'm sad to inform you all that the zombie apocalypse started today in Miami, Florida, my hometown. While totally naked, Zombie Joe, the apocalypse's answer to Typhoid Mary,  attacked and ate the face of another man, who is in critical condition at a Miami hospital. Police had to shoot the nude Zombie Joe half a dozen times to finally kill him as he continued to eat the victim.

I have to say, I feel fairly safe here in Montana, because if the trend is going to be naked zombies, they are going to freeze in the snow that we had last night or at least be slowed enough that head shots will be simpler.

Nevertheless, the time is now, dear readers, to ready your plans. It is clear that Joe's victim will have been infected and is going to start with the chompy-chompy sometime soon.

Will you stock up supplies?

Will you fortify your homes?

Or will you join me under the bathroom sink where we will be very very still and very very quiet?

Also, I am very sorry to the victim and the families of the people in this news article, I am very insensitive, but seriously, you have to be a little aware that if your injured loved one tries to bite you, he's totally a zombie and you should kill him, immediately.

Arizona HB2625, amirite!?

I really ought to get to the Grand Canyon before I am too disgusted to ever step foot in Arizona again.

You know, this is really not a political blarg, and I am really not a political person, until it comes to my lady bits... so again... if you hate politics, feel free to skip to the second picture.

But after reading about the latest bill coming out of Arizona, I felt the need to share one of my medically necessary reasons for birth control.

Think it would pass legislative muster? 

AND, because I am a nerd and cannot ignore it.

Operation: Mother May I?

Here I go being political again. If you think that we would be better off if the government controlled the lives of women, reading this will likely piss you right the hell off and your time would be better off spent elsewhere pretending I am just PMSing.





After reading more on proposed contraception bans and comments about how women should be at home taking care of children instead of working so we don't need things like Head Start, the following occurred to me:

I wonder how grating it would be to Republican politicians if hoards of women tweeted them every time we wanted to use our vaginas to see if it was okay with them.

Perhaps having to hear about tampons, and douches, and discharges, and masturbation, and kinky sex, or even conventional vanilla sex within church sanctioned marriages, 24 hours a day, would make them less interested in controlling our junk.

Think this might make a difference? Want to help make a point? Tweet your daily vaginal activities to your favorite Republican on twitter with the hashtag #MotherMayIGOP 

Don't have a republican in mind? 

You can start here:
@Senate_GOPs
@RoyBlunt
@RickSantorum
or do a search for your local GOP representative on the Google.

Don't have a vagina?

Be sure to share this post with your favorite vagina owner.

Disclaimer- One should never wait for a reply from someone to use their vagina. At this point, your vagina is yours and yours alone (unless you have figured some clever way to rent it out or are a conjoined twin)... take advantage of it while you still can!

HIGH FIVE, GUYS!

I got some awesome and funny high five pictures and as promised, we have the best of them (they were all great damn it, but I can't have fair contests if I am gonna choose everyone as the winners, though you are all totally winners in my mind for even bothering to send stuff in, and it being funny and/or cute). All the entries can be found (with links where available) over the facebook Cheeseblarg page.

I have come to realize I am wrong, though.  There are certain people I would high five. Or certain person. NPH. But beyond him, I don't know who else. Neal Patrick Harris is just utterly high fivable.

And before we get to the winner, I did one more animal high five of my own, for many reasons, which you are welcome to guess.

And now onto the winners!

From Stephanie at "Clay Baboons"- she actually sent several entries that were very hard to choose from and featured animal high fives on her blog and she makes me laugh. A lot.

Tonya at "Where Have All The Hobos Gone" won me over with her "Altos Cinco!"

High Fortying made me actually laugh aloud. Thanks Haley, from "Haley's Comic."

and as an honorable mention for being topical:

Mollie of "OK in UK"

Please do stop over at da Cheeseblarg on facebook and check out the other entries.  All of the participants deserve positive attention for their cute and funny pieces!

Why I am a follower RE: SOPA and PiPA

So I blacked out the blarg to support the total eradication of SOPA and PiPA (though I could totally go for some sopa, since it is so cold outside- that's a spanish joke). The thing is, I have been an artist for a very long time, and in that time, I have both had my art stolen, and been accused of stealing art. Every time my art was stolen, I used the laws ALREADY in place to get the work taken down, and every time I was accused of stealing art, it was because the person accusing me was an asshole.

For example, a gentleman posted a lovely nude photo of himself in a community I belonged to and I said, "My, that is lovely, may I paint it?" and he said
"Oh yes, I would love to be painted!"
And then I painted his lovely nude picture (digitally, because I paint digitally), and when I showed it to him, he said, "WELL, IF I KNEW YOU WERE JUST GOING TO PUT A FILTER ON IT I WOULDN'T HAVE LET YOU USE MY IMAGE!!!!!" presumably because he thought having an altered photo of him in the world altered his soul or something, though my painting was indeed a painting and not just some filtered image.
And so I replied, "I'm sorry, if I had known that you expected me to be unable to paint convincingly and realistically, I wouldn't have bothered taking time to paint your ass (literally) for free." and then I took it down, and then I told the internet about it 8 years later, because that guy was a douche.
There was also the craptacular time that my elementary school had a contest to draw a new tiger mascot for a wall mural, with a cash prize, and I was disqualified because they thought I had traced my entry instead of having drawn it from scratch. I had drawn it from scratch. Being a good artist doesn't pay sometimes.



But the point is, SOPA and PiPA want to make it so that this site could be taken down if they even suspect that I am breaking someone's copyright. No due process, no questions, just gone... and that is not okay.  There are already laws that cover piracy and maybe we copyright holders need more avenues for recourse, but creating sweeping laws that take away our freedoms in the hopes that it might help get rid of copyright violation outside the US is ultimately not helpful. They need to find a better way. So, that was what that was all about.

p.s. Don't forget to get your animal high fives in before midnight my time. cheeseblarg at live dot com

Occupy the Holidays

It's getting closer to the holidays and after spending all night watching live feeds from Occupy Wall Street, I have some great gift ideas for your favorite Occupier!

Tired of hearing your occupying loved one complaining of being gassed and pepper sprayed?

How about this Festive Holiday Gas Mask?

It sure is getting cold up North and BOY, do those non-lethal projectiles sting! 

The Civil Disobedient Kitten Sweater is the perfect solution.

Cops raided your Occupier's camp and threw away all their food!? That won't happen again with the Patented Food Survival Suit- Holiday Edition!  Holds all your favorite Holiday Dinner leftovers in a place you are sure not to lose.

Choose from Holly Green, Jew Blue, Harvest Kwanzaa (red, black, and green), and Peppermint Stick!

Spring Forward, Fall Back... into bed

I realized, this morning, when I woke up at 6:45 am, that the "extra hour of sleep" that comes from us "falling back" only counts when you are the type of person who actually has things to do and wakes up using an alarm. Otherwise, it is just losing time as you lie in bed staring at the dark ceiling, waiting for the world to catch up with your obnoxious bladder that insists on waking you up ridiculously early, and who is in cahoots with your brain that refuses to let you go back to sleep after getting up to pee way too early in the morning.

And by tonight, my body will refuse to go to sleep at a decent time, and I will then get into a cycle where I get less and less sleep until I begin threatening people, and screaming randomly while crying, and then something will snap and I will sleep for five sixths of an entire day, after which I will get back to sleeping like a normal human being again.

In summary, if I continue to live in the United States, I should move to Arizona or Hawaii.

As Promised.

This is only funny if you read yesterday's post.

In fact, I did cry briefly today.  The love of my life died. Not my husband, he is fine.  Not bacon. It is presumably good, too.

I plugged my Kindle in last night to charge, because it was super dead when I went to read and when I remembered it was still plugged in this afternoon, it had somehow met an untimely demise.  I called Amazon (which I just typoed Amazin, probably not by coincidence) and after explaining in a panicky way that I had been depending upon reading on the plane to keep me from having a panic attack (haven't mentioned I don't like flying, have I?), Kyle the Awesome, told me that a brand spanking new Kindle would be over-nighted to me since mine was still in warranty. It should be here tomorrow in time to take with me. *crosses fingers*

So yeah, I love Amazon, and my Kindle... and while this is not a sponsored post, and is written of my own volition because I am really happy with the customer service I received, Amazon, I love free things and you are welcome to send me anything you like.