Showing posts with label bull. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bull. Show all posts

Friday, June 2, 2017

Safety Net, More Like Safety NOT.

Cartoon JRose on the phone looks annoyed - cartoon Stevie cat hides behind her. A speech bubble coming from the phone says "We'd like for you to stop sucking so much."


I have been contacted by at least 4 of my 5 current medical providers in the past week chastising me for being an irresponsible jerk. The problem is, I am totally responsible and also, that kind of judgment is super bad for my health, guys, stop it.

As I've said before, I'm poor. Yes, we have the sweet sweet financial aid currently, that makes life so much more enjoyable, but since that is a gift from the government (that they expect to get back someday), and it only goes for basic living stuff, we still receive bare minimum safety net services, like Medicaid (Thanks, Obama), and when you have social services, there is a whole lot of hoop jumping that comes along with it.

And I'm not even complaining. I'm getting something incredibly valuable for free, basically. I mean, I paid into the system for a decade before coming to need these services, but I am almost entirely fine with having to fill out endless paperwork and report my every change to these agencies, because basically they are keeping me alive, and for that, I would do an assload of paperwork, man.

The problem is, I did my paperwork. A week after I moved. I went onto their website like their paperwork instructed me to, and I changed my Primary Care Provider, like they told me to, and I waited a month until my new coverage kicked in to make any doctor's appointments, like a super responsible girl, even though I desperately needed to see those doctors then, only to find out that the website we were all told to use, doesn't seem to be attached to anything!

Even worse, after getting the situation squared away by calling their hotline, I asked to make a complaint about the website not working and here's what I was told:

We know that there's a problem. We are working diligently to fix the issue that is making it so that the website collects data, tells you it registered you, but then spits the information out into the ether. It's a particular problem with the medical center that serves your area. Unfortunately, we can't tell those providers that this is an issue we're having so they stop chastising you because we have no way of knowing that you actually tried to sign up, you could be making it up and this whole problem could just be that you people are liars. This problem... that we've been trying to deal with for at least 3 months now... that countless people have complained about. Have you tried not being poor?

I might be paraphrasing slightly. Anyway, it's frustrating enough that I've written this novella about it. There's the whole myth of the Welfare Queen living high on benefits from the government, but being humiliated on a regular basis because technology is hard for the government doesn't feel very royal to me. All I'd really like is for Montana Medicaid's IT department to contact my providers and tell them there's an issue with the website and that their clients aren't just sitting around eating bonbons and laughing in the face of responsibility. Okay, maybe I would like some bonbons too, but I would really like them to take responsibility for their errors, instead of putting it all on the poor people who are trying to do the right thing on a broken system.




buy me bonbons!


Thursday, September 19, 2013

Pintester Movement: DIY Vintage Inspired Bell Jar Ornaments

Sonja Foust, The Pintester, is having another Pintester Movement extravaganza for all of her Pintestes.



This time, since I am having my first family Christmas Tree (because, if you don't remember, I'm Jewish, so we never got to have one growing up) I'm starting early on making my own ornaments. I found a few discounted ornaments to go with my discounted faux tree that was bought for me after Christmas last year (THANKS, MOM!), but that sucker is 6 feet tall, and my 7 ornaments are not going to do it.

So I have pinned a buttload of ideas that tickle my fancy on my ORNAMENT-O-RAMA board on pinterest. But the one that I love the most, because I collect plastic snow globes, was this awesome ornament:




Seriously, guys, look at that adorable fucking deer and those fancy trees! 

Unfortunately, Montana does not have adorable fucking anything... so I had to improvise.

I learned, on my wild quest through my way-too-small-for-the-capital-of-a-state city, that apparently, only very rich people ever do crafts here. There is no way I can afford most of the pins I want to try. Thank goodness for Amazon.com, but alas, having just ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon, I knew that I wouldn't have time to have things shipped for cheap to try stuff and possibly fail, having nothing to show for this pin,  so I began my mostly fruitless quest to find things to assemble an attractive, or at least funny, Bell Jar Ornament. I didn't find much, and what I found is... decidedly Montanan.

I also learned that my mother has WAY too many craft things to not have a freaking glue gun.  Seriously, she has an ENTIRE room of craft shit, and no way to stick it all together in a giant stringy finger-burning lump. Now that I have a glue gun (that I went out and bought in the middle of this pin test, after calling my mother on vacation in Florida to ask her if there was a glue gun hiding anywhere in her house) I may just end up making some abstract craft art to surprise her with.

So, after having my husband go cut plastic wine glasses with a dremel tool (he was slightly annoyed with me for forcing him to stop something else he was doing to cut them for me, so they are kind of passive aggressively uneven) I spent about 20 minutes trying to attach a buffalo to another buffalo. I finally gave up after consulting the instructions for my pin (hadn't done that yet... there were pictures... that I apparently didn't pay very close attention to) and I realized that I would need a glue gun before I could go any further, so I also gave the buffalo task to my husband, since he told me that the super glue we did have was dangerous, and went to the store.

Once I got back from Walmart with a glue gun... AND glue sticks, and other things to stick in future ornaments, the progress on the pin went pretty quickly. I am very happy with it and can't wait to put it on my tree, though I am trying to figure out what to tell my nephew should he ask why the buffaloes are attached.

I call it:
Buffaloes in Love

or alternatively:
Buffaloes who Love Playing Leap Frog


Adorable fucking buffalo. 
See what I did there?


Want to make ornaments for my tree and send them to me to be featured on the blarg? Details coming next month!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

HIGH FIVE, GUYS!

I got some awesome and funny high five pictures and as promised, we have the best of them (they were all great damn it, but I can't have fair contests if I am gonna choose everyone as the winners, though you are all totally winners in my mind for even bothering to send stuff in, and it being funny and/or cute). All the entries can be found (with links where available) over the facebook Cheeseblarg page.

I have come to realize I am wrong, though.  There are certain people I would high five. Or certain person. NPH. But beyond him, I don't know who else. Neal Patrick Harris is just utterly high fivable.

And before we get to the winner, I did one more animal high five of my own, for many reasons, which you are welcome to guess.



And now onto the winners!


From Stephanie at "Clay Baboons"- she actually sent several entries that were very hard to choose from and featured animal high fives on her blog and she makes me laugh. A lot.




Tonya at "Where Have All The Hobos Gone" won me over with her "Altos Cinco!"





High Fortying made me actually laugh aloud. Thanks Haley, from "Haley's Comic."






and as an honorable mention for being topical:

Mollie of "OK in UK"

Please do stop over at da Cheeseblarg on facebook and check out the other entries.  All of the participants deserve positive attention for their cute and funny pieces!


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