Stick it!

When I went to the doctor's office last Wednesday, the nurse I saw suggested that acupuncture might be the cure to my ridiculous intestinal ailments.  I fail to see how sticking needles into me will make me not allergic to things, but other than the whole, sticking needles into me, what could it hurt? Surely it wouldn't make my food intolerances worse.

After talking to the acupuncturist, my worries were allayed that the cure would surely have something to do with stabbing needles into my eyes, because of course, to me, something is not really valuable and useful unless it is the most unpleasant scenario you can possibly imagine. Yes, so no needles to the eyes, no needles to the pee hole, just a bunch of holding things I am currently allergic to while she stabs needles into my back to teach my body that freaking out at food and medicines is not acceptable and will be punished with repeated stabbing. That should do it, right?

Unfortunately, the treatment would cost over 900 dollars and though she SAYS that I would have no allergies when she was done, and I could eat bread again until it grew out of my ears, I don't think she is willing to guarantee that.  There is also the problem that I do not have 900 dollars nor the prospect of having that much money that I will ever be able to spend on something that may or may not work, that also requires me to be stabbed repeatedly.  If I had that much to spare, I would do it. But I'm an industrious and frugal kind of gal, maybe I could just do it myself.  I'm sure we have a box of straight pins in the sewing room somewhere.