Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Craptacular Day

I have several obnoxious and rather icky chronic diseases, which is why I am now trying to make a living by writing funny stories and drawing silly pictures on the internet instead of working "a real job."  Sometimes these diseases all gang up on me and make me not want to do a damned thing, which includes entertaining other people.  Sometimes, I force myself to do it anyway, and sometimes, those posts aren't very amusing because my heart is not behind them.  Today is one of those days.  Not that I mean my heart isn't behind this post, I just mean, I feel like crap and this probably won't be very entertaining.  And I don't mean, my darling readers, that you should to try to guess where I wasn't feeling very well in my blarg archive and let me know, because it might just insult me when you guess that a post I loved and thought was my best was crap but you know it's only because I was sick and you were just trying to be supportive by pointing out that I am not funny, and nevermind, let's just pretend like all of my posts are fried gold.

Anyway, when I am having one of these days, distraction is the best remedy for wanting to dig a hole and never come out. It helps me not to feel so guilty for not wanting to do my job, and for not getting out of bed, except to go to the bathroom 7500 times (this may be a slight exaggeration, which is clearly a symptom of my illnesses too, both the exaggerating and the bathroom trips, that is).

These are the things that are serving as my distractors today:

MTV's Teen Wolf
Yes, I know this is a show made for teens and I am roughly twice the age of the target demographic, but as a fan of the original Teen Wolf movie, I had to check it out, and since I feel about 14 years old most of the time, it appealed to me.  It is absolutely nothing like the movie though there are nods here and there, and it is ridiculously melodramatic, and I freaking love it. There. I said it. I'm a dork. Plus, Stiles... duh.

Looking up candies
I could have sworn that Whatchamacallits had marshmallow in them once upon a time. Apparently, I am completely wrong.  But there was some candy bar when I was a kid in the early 80s that had a wafer and chocolate cream and peanuts and marshmallow in the center, and damn it, I want to know what it was, because in my nostalgic memory, that was THE most delicious confection in the entire world.

And may I say, as a collector of Pez, I am really disappointed that there are no official Harry Potter Pez Dispensers.

Movie Clips on Youtube
UHF is one of my favorite movies from my youth. Weird Al is a comic genius. This clip never fails to amuse me.

By the way, "twinkie wiener sandwiches?" They're terrible. Please believe me.  It is a horrible waste of a twinkie, a hot dog, and easy cheese.


City of Glass (Mortal Instruments)  Spiderwork - A Post Apocapunk Fantasy Romance (Apocalypto 2)  Space Junque - An Apocapunk Romance (Apocalypto 1)

I'm currently reading an actual copy of  "City of Glass- The Mortal Instruments" by Cassandra Clare and "Spiderwork- A Post Apocapunk Fantasy Romance" by LK Rigel on my kindle. I don't usually like to be engaged with two books at the same time because it feels like I am cheating on one with the other, but I was reading "Spiderwork," which is the sequel to "Space Junque," both of which I downloaded for free from Amazon and am enjoying very much, when my friend loaned me the final book of the Mortal Instrument series (I mean, I think it is the final book... I guess I could research that, but I am afraid of spoilers, so I'll just not care instead) and since it is borrowed, I have set aside the other. But reading, of course, has the added benefit of making me sleep which helps with healing so I can write actual posts and not be a grumpy asshole.

Checking my emails a billion times and crying.
(I have no emails, hence the crying)
(except my mom, she writes)
(hi mom)

And that's about it.  Have anything you think might amuse me? Wanna tell me what you do to make yourself feel better when you're having a craptacular day?  I would love the distraction.


  1. Well City of Glass is the last in the 1st trilogy. There is a new trilogy picking up where it left off (City of Fallen Angels) and a new victorian spin off series w/ the first book called Clockwork Angel (very steampunk) You'd like it!
    Feel better!

  2. When I'm having a craptacular day I read your blog.

    I guess that's not much help to you is it?

  3. All of your posts are fried bacon... beats fried gold any day! When I need distraction I watch "trailer Park Boys" on netflix. It is a horrific show that I don't feel bad if I fall asleep while watching and yet like a train wreck, I am drawn to watching it. I also watch comic book movies (repeatedly) like Batman, Watchmen, X-men... you get the idea. Sadly I don't watch real men.

    Lastly, I too have some craptastic days. I do think my favorite distraction of all is to read my favorite blogs and blarg to make me smile.

    Feel better lovely!

  4. When I feel down, I like to go back and read my blog comments where people tell me how awesome I am (you should do the same). I also think that my very best posts are not at all funny, and I think that I am a better writer anyway when I'm NOT being funny, and that's when I realize that maybe I write less for other people and more for myself. But maybe not, because I do love the love. And now that I've made it all about me, ;) - sick or well, funny or not, you are an amazing and talented person, and I am happy to have stumbled across this most excellent blarg of yours. Be well. <3

  5. I dont think they have any with wafers, but the rest sounds like a googoo cluster to me. They are a very tasty candy.

  6. You don't know us, but we love you (in a non-creepy way, of course).

    If that doesn't make you feel better, perhaps this will (does comment box do linkies? Guess we'll find out): http://bit.ly/nqzKYw

    TL;DR: Bachman/llama 2012

  7. when muh day is crappy(which it always is), I ride mi bicicleta til i can't feel my mwomp-mwomps no mo.

  8. I watch old 80's movies that I shouldn't have watched in the 80's and early 90's. Ice Pirates, Pirate Movie, and the like. You watch them and tell me if a 10 year old should be watching (thanks dad)

  9. Aww, you guys! *double mega heart*

    @Jules- Naw, it was a big rectangular bar with the same general dimensions of a Whatchamacallit.

    @Amanda- I totally saw Ice Pirates in the theater. Didn't quite get the Space Herpes joke until I was much older. I saw lots of inappropriate movies as a kid. It builds character, and a raunchy sense of humor.

  10. I usually go Facebook stalking to make myself feel better. I just creep around people's profiles until I find one with lots of posts like, "It's 6 AM and my toddler just dropped a whole carton of eggs." (Fun fact: that was an actual status update I once saw.) Then I think, "Ahhh. I love my life."

  11. hulu is my go-to for feel bad days. or feel good days. either way it makes me feel, well, better! : )

    love weird al. and thank you for the book sharing - i think i need to check all of those out because they look good!

    also, i agree w/ the fried bacon comment, because bacon is better than gold most days, and your posts are awesome. so thanks for that, too!!

  12. My Craptacular days, usually sick days, are spent watching musicals.
    Usually singing in the rain.
    I pump up the volume as loud as I can, grab a blanket, a cup of soup or hot chocolate, whichever tickles your fancy, some cheese based snack and a box of tissues. I then position my self in my well established couch cushion butt groove and sing a long with the musical as loud as my lungs will allow.
    I like to think my neighbours look forward to the melodic gift that is my sick day voice :D

  13. Teen Wolf....my hubby watches it and trust me, he's no teen. It's campy and all you said but it's better than some junk on tv.

    You are like fried bacon. :D Your posts make me smile or giggle llama.

    This household is glad we located your blarg.

    Thanks for the heads up on the Twinkie/hotdog/cheese sandwich. ;)

  14. When the sickly-ness hits me, I have a super awesome cure. Well, perhaps 'cure' is too strong a word, but given your affinity for them I'm sure this would help you feel better. Four words: The Emperor's New Groove.

  15. 1940's film noir on Netflix makes me feel safe until I can crawl out. Also sometimes episodes of Columbo. I like to spot the giant cocktail rings.

  16. I look at llama pictures
    and cute kitty pictures

  17. I'm always sick too. I have food intolerances, mainly lactose and gluten intolerances.... and that's hard because I LOVE baked goods. Can't stop eating them even though I feel horrible for the rest of the day.
    When I am battling the sickness of PMS like I am now, I love to read fanfiction. I'm in the middle of a pretty good Harry Potter fanfiction right now. It get's my mind off of everything else and I zone out reading my favorite characters doing things I wish they would actually do. lol
    If you like reading, and you don't mind wading through a lot of crappy stories to find the good ones, then try out Fanfiction.net

  18. I read and I play video games.

    I'm not sure if you can find the whole thing, but I always watch anything I can find by the Reduced Shakespeare Company. They're hilarious and they have a show for just about anyone. I highly The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged). I always go into fits of giggles when I see it.

  19. I try to nap...and knit some. :)

    Feel better soon!

    Also, maybe listen to some Fascinating Aida, my favorite song is "Cheap Flights".

  20. today was pretty craptastic.
    for example, I didn't know what day today was until a few minutes ago (it's Wednesday? really???).
    aslo, I keep mxinig up my lettres.
    this made me feel better.

  21. I assume you already have tried bacon, but what about cupcakes? Or (miracle of miracles) I saw a bacon cupcake somewhere recently. How could such a confection NOT help people? Hope today is better than yesterday!

  22. Listening to musicals helps lift my spirits. Feel better soon.


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