When I was a kid, I used to try to trick my mom into thinking I was dead. I would lay on the bedroom floor with my legs at weird angles and send my sister to go get my mom to report my untimely demise. I'd lie there, my tongue sticking out, giggling, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling as I waited for my sister to cross the expanse of our house to go get her. I don't think my sister was really selling it though because no one ever came running, it was always just a saunter in to the doorway, where she would look in, nod and then leave. She might have given me an "Oh no... JRose is dead." in a totally unconvincing voice... but I really wasn't that great of a thespian. I wouldn't bother with blood, or bones sticking out, or vacating my bowels. I pretty much stopped at not blinking and holding my breath, all the while grinning.
Some day, I fear, I will fall and end up dead on the floor and she will find me and think, once again, that I am kidding and I will lay there rotting until someone else notices.
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And once again, I am entered in an art contest that requires clicks to get me back to NYC.
A click would be friggen awesome.
Just click COLLECT ME at the top to vote for my art to be shown in Times Square.
[link removed]
And tell your friends... tomorrow maybe, so they don't think it is an April Fools joke.
Ick! Quite a drawing in this post...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, is it too much?
DeleteI really like your narrative! Well-written and funny:)
ReplyDeleteHa! Love this post. Kids everywhere, take heed: if you want to convince people that you're dead, it's best to make a mess.
ReplyDeleteOhhh - my little sister got a terrible fright when I did this to her...no wonder she had issues.
ReplyDeleteI do this ALL THE TIME.
ReplyDeleteI was playing tennis this weekend and laid down on the court pretending to be dead. I pretend to be dead a lot. I also pretend to have seizures and then die a lot. Which is probably so offensive, but well, offence my balls.