Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Pintester Movement - Cheese Porn

So, Sonja Foust, over at Pintester.com has started The Pintester Movement, which is a concerted effort to try Pinterest Pins and post about them, and I figured I would use it as an excuse to try some pins that I have on my Pinterest "Nom Nom *Chomp*" board, because it was something to do, and I always find myself putting off making things that I really want to eat because it takes effort.

The problem is, I am too awesome for this project. Or else I only pin things that are well within my scope of abilities. Notice there are no pins of things that require dipping or patience, ala How Not to Make Cake Pops. I know that making cake pops (which I just typoed cakepoops, clearly a Freudian slip, because we all know how I feel about those asshole treats), will make me want to stab people, so I chose something amazingly easy, and excelled at doing as little as possible, as the recipe demanded.

Recently, I found the food blog "Oh Bite It!" It is like my foodie spirit animal. Every post has bacon, or fried, or some sort of combination of butter and sugar, and that really speaks to me, in an OMG PUT THE FOOD IN MY MOUTH, sort of way. At this point, I have stopped pinning all the things I want to make from that website because my entire food board would be filled with her recipes.

The pin I chose to test for the Pintester Movement maiden voyage into the waters of possible fail, was "Oh Bite It"'s Grilled Cheese Pull-Apart Rolls, mostly because I miss grilled cheese so much, and any promise that something will taste like grilled cheese, while not causing my insides to try to kill me is something I am going to want in my mouth. I also thought it was kind of appropriate for da Cheeseblarg.



So I followed the directions, which are basically, open a can of biscuits without having a heart attack (almost failed on that one), flatten canned biscuit, stuff that motherfucker with velveeta cheese, pincha-pincha-pincha, drown in butter, and bake.

I made half the recipe because there were only two people eating it and I was also making pizza soup to go with it, because half a pound of cheese in bread is apparently not a full meal.

Only the rolls took 40 minutes more to cook through than the instructions lead me to believe, and when I tasted them finally, they tasted like canned biscuits stuffed with velveeta cheese, and not so much like grilled cheese. I was slightly disappointed, even though they were really easy to make. But then, the next night, having the leftovers, because I could only eat one roll the night before, reheated in the microwave, they tasted exactly like a grilled cheese sandwich, and all was redeemed.

That means I will be making these again, and I have complete faith that I will enjoy anything that Oh Bite It comes up with.

This image makes no sense, I just wanted to draw myself in a cute polka dotted bathing suit.

The biscuits' identities have been hidden for their safety.



39 comments:

  1. Wish we could buy tinned biscuits here, as these would be on my to do list oh and cake pops I just can't see the reason why.....

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    1. I also did them with frozen biscuits that I thawed (which are basically normal biscuit dough... wait, do you guys call them scones in Australia too, or are biscuits actually biscuits there and not cookies?)and it came out even better and was crazy delicious (and cooked way faster).

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    2. LOL Biscuits are cookies here (though we float both ways and call cookies cookies as well). Biscuits are what I think we refer to as "drop scones" as you drop them in a pan to cook. Normal scones are done in the oven.

      Still, I want to know the heart attack of opening a can of compressed dough, DAMMIT.

      xx Ren @ Renlish.com

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    3. Thank you. I should know these things, since I cook a lot, but apparently, I am not nearly worldly enough in my baking terms. But our biscuits are basically scones, I think, though our scones here are almost always sweet, and "biscuits" aren't. I have no idea what a drop scone would be here. Here we have drop biscuits, but they are basically the same as rolled biscuits, you just drop them by the spoonful into a baking pan, instead of rolling them out and cutting them.

      Oh! Okay, just googled, drop scones are called pancakes here.

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  2. Oh, and thanks for visiting my blog for the Movement!

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  3. Nice! I freaking love cheese, so I bet I would devour those.

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    1. They are really good... much better with higher quality frozen biscuit dough though. Like seriously nomtastic.

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  4. I'm pretty sure I just stared at the screen the way a creepy man stares at porn.

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    1. Exactly, my stomach starts fapping anytime I go look at recipes on her site.

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  5. BAHAHAHA! Love it. Sorry they didn't live up to your expectations, but hey, cheese and biscuits can't be ALL bad.

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    1. Not bad at all. I think Velveeta could make feet taste good.

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  6. :snort: Your addition to the original picture is hysterical!

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    1. Thank you. I thought humping was most appropriate for that picture.

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  7. BAHAH! I am SO thankful that I'm not the only one who nearly has a heart attack when opening a can of biscuits, no one in my family seems to understand my great fear about the whole thing.

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    1. No really, they are freaking terrifying. I don't understand how anyone is not frightened of them. And this particular can, it popped REALLY powerfully and I might have screamed. Also, you might really appreciate this post. http://cheeseblarg.blogspot.com/2012/12/they-get-me-every-time.html

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  8. Hey Jodee! You say that the image of you in the red polka dotted bathing suit makes no sense, but it does! You remind me of your "Barbie Hot Tub" post where Barbie was placed in a plastic container (that I believed was a baked potato container from Wendy's!). But you know, it could be you or Barbie in a ceramic dish to hold delicious noms. ;)

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    1. That was entirely my line of thinking. You win all the points for remembering my reference to it! :D

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  9. LOL! This is great! I love recipes that have me do as little as possible.

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    1. It is the best kind of recipe. Although when it gets to this, that is overdoing it a little. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/late-night-bacon-recipe/index.html

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  10. My arteries hardened at the sight of your cheese porn.

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    1. I'm so sorry. I am sure there is a drawing of lettuce somewhere in this blarg.

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  11. Oh my gosh the first picture is hilarious!!!

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    1. I'm a humper. At least in drawings.

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  12. Love. This. Post. Your sense of humor (and love of cheezy foods) has won you another reader!

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  13. Hahaha, awesome post and love your pictures! :)

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  14. Dude. You just made my life complete with the picture of animated you humping the grilled cheese. LOVE IT.

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    1. Who wouldn't hump that picture!? Seriously!

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  15. Excellent work Jodee, I'm joining the blog right away! Now, I was a Brit who worked in the US for a bit, then moved to Australia (and became an Aussie), so in the spirit of international baking harmony...I know, I could be a Benetton poster...here's what I have discovered about baking terms: a US biscuit is like one of those fab Irish buttermilk scones you get for breakfast - not big here in Oz so we don't have them canned. A Brit or Aussie scone is also a US scone though we have ours round or square, not triangles. A US cookie is anything small sweet and roundish that you can dunk in your cup of tea while in the UK and Aus a cookie tends to be more of a Tollhouse choc chip type thingy. All other cookies (plain, flat, any shape, iced or not, sandwiched or singles) are in fact biscuits. Ha! Confused? Vive la difference...it gives us a reason to travel!! xx

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    1. Hooray, welcome. And thank you for the international baking lesson!

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  16. I'd read anything with the title of your blarg. I'm sorry for you though. You have no hands. In the pics you posted. No hands.

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  17. Fairly positive that if I wasn't in public, I would have licked the screen. Love it.

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  18. Mmm, grilled cheese bites, I may have to try those since you made such a convincing appeal for them. I love your blog, you are a very funny lady! And I love your drawing style, too

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  19. that bathing suit you're in actually exsists! http://www.modcloth.com/shop/onepiece-swimwear/beach-blanket-bingo-one-piece-in-red

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