On the first night of Hanukkah, your Cheeseblarg gives to you:
Hilarious conversation while trying to assemble my Christmas tree
AND
An ornament giveaway!
So, this is what the box from the tree I got suggests it looks like:
This is what it looked like when my husband and I were done assembling it:
Slight disparity there...
Of course, I blame it on me being Jewish.
Mike (Handing me middle section to fluff because I was being neurotic and was nagging at him to take the tag off the section because tags bother me.)
Me: I don't know what I'm doing. I'm Jewish, I don't know what a tree is supposed to look like.
Mike: What? How can you blame that on being Jewish?
Me: I grew up in Miami Beach, dude, there are no pine trees there! If this was a palm tree, I could totally arrange it.
Mike: Just keep doing it.
Me: My fingers hurt. I'm covered in fake pine needles. This tree sucks.
And then, since he doesn't despise nature like his wife does, and he grew up in Vermont where there are pine trees out the wazoo, he fixed it all because, really... I don't know how tree arms are supposed to go (which is probably apparent since 'tree arms' is how my brain refers to branches). I'm pretty sure the above picture was before it was fixed. He did the bottom and the top... the jacked middle part was the part I did.
Once it was all put together, I looked at the assembly instructions and realized that there was totally a diagram to arrange the branches. It was not anything close to what I had done. Clearly.
The tree no longer sucks, by the way. It is completely and totally covered in the best ornaments ever made. And I don't just mean the ones that I made, though the ones I made are pretty awesome, like this ornament, that was inspired by my papercraft tree. I give you DINO BALL!
LITERALLY
This felted ornament ball will be given away to one lucky reader after December 4th (the last night of Hanukkah). To be eligible to win him, you just have to comment on each of the 8 posts I create for Hanukkah within 48 hours of it being posted. On the sixth of December, I will announce the winner of the ornament, picked from the pool of people who have commented on each post. An extra entry can be earned by sharing each post and pasting a link to your tout in your comment each day. You may share on twitter, tumblr, a public facebook post, or pinterest, but posting on more than one does not earn additional entries for the day. A total of 9 entries is possible.
Should no one comment each day, in order to make me cry, I will figure out some other way to give it out, or I will keep it and be extremely bitter.
Also, commenting with a Haiku is totally appropriate (remember- that is syllables of 5-7-5)
