Dropsy

My hands are uncooperative today. 

Earlier today, I dropped my Kindle on my face while reading, giving myself a fat lip (though, as I said on twitter shortly after it happened, I was glad it was the kindle and not The Stand by Stephen King, which is what I was actually reading on the kindle, because that book would have given me a fat lip and knocked my tooth out... it's really big).

Before I started writing this, I grabbed my remote control to mute the show that was on TV to watch a video on Facebook and I ended up losing my grip on the remote and launching it at my laptop screen. I was concerned that it had broken the screen, but it seems to be okay. 

I think my point is, don't have me hold your baby today.

Bacon Mint Toothpaste?

In my estimation, the only thing that mint really goes well with is chocolate. Why then, does the dental care industry insist on making mouth products that are supposed to be used before or around eating, out of the one flavoring agent that makes all other things taste HORRIBLE?!

Really, mint doesn't play well with others. Especially not spearmint! Peppermint, it's okay, since it gets to represent a major holiday it seems to have a better attitude towards other foods, but for the most part, mints are terrible terrible flavor collaborators.


My point is, I really think that more people would brush their teeth upon waking if it wasn't going to make drinking their morning orange juice into an experience of taste torture.

The problem is to find a flavor that is palatable with most things, doesn't leave a terrible aftertaste, and isn't so bizarre as to turn the consumer off to buying it.

My first thought, as it usually is, was BACON! It is the perfect flavor, but alas, probably not going to make for the freshest breath. Gonna need to go with something sweet. Then I thought waffles, mmm buttery syrupy waffles. Might be a hard flavor to recreate.

Perhaps the solution is orange juice flavored toothpaste.  And none of this "orange mint" that was tried, that just makes the prospect of toothbrushing, itself, torturous.  I mean, people like orange juice, right?  It is refreshing, delicious, and full of vitamin C. I'd be willing to try it.



Perhaps a line of drink flavored toothpastes would be best for all day brushing. Orange juice, lemonade, merlot wine, vodka...