MAYDAY!

I was glad to find, after seeing commercials for the Mayday button for the new Kindle HDX, which brings up a live technician to help walk users through using their Kindle, that the tech is NOT able to see the person who has pressed the button.

I can't even imagine the kind of hazard pay they would need to pay their technicians otherwise.

Dropsy

My hands are uncooperative today. 

Earlier today, I dropped my Kindle on my face while reading, giving myself a fat lip (though, as I said on twitter shortly after it happened, I was glad it was the kindle and not The Stand by Stephen King, which is what I was actually reading on the kindle, because that book would have given me a fat lip and knocked my tooth out... it's really big).

Before I started writing this, I grabbed my remote control to mute the show that was on TV to watch a video on Facebook and I ended up losing my grip on the remote and launching it at my laptop screen. I was concerned that it had broken the screen, but it seems to be okay. 

I think my point is, don't have me hold your baby today.

New News is Good News

There have been good reasons for my quietness, that is, not necessarily acceptable, but GOOD, like, I enjoyed them sort of good, you know, the opposite of unfortunate.

Some of it is news, like:

OMG, MY ART IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN TIMES SQUARE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Remember me begging for votes? I know, which time, right? Well, the time I was doing it asking people to click "COLLECT ME" so I could have my art shown in Times Square. That time. After one last big push, I got enough votes so that my art will be shown on a billboard in Times Square, NYC. Which art? I don't really know. They haven't told me. Will I be there? Not bloody likely. UNLESS they choose me as a finalist and I make $10k as a result, which would only happen with more votes, but nevertheless HOLY SHIT, TIMES SQUARE, MAN! June 18th. I need pictures of it if any New York City dwellers could go check it out for me.

And OMG, I AM WORKING ON MY NOVEL AGAIN! 

JRose, we were unaware you were working on a novel. Yeah, I know, that is why it is news. It's a sci-fi novel, set way in the future... on the MOON. I started it several years ago and it has been nagging at me and  so I am working on it again. And I am telling people I am working on it so they make me continue to work on it because it is an awesome premise and I am surprisingly, sometimes, a pretty damned good writer (which is an opinion I formed when I reread what I wrote 5 years ago).

Only I haven't worked on it for three days because I was feverishly reading:

11/22/63: A Novel by Stephen King, and it was my favorite book of his so far. Most likely because it revolved around time travel and time travel is my favorite plot point of all time. EVER (Surprisingly, the book I am writing has no time travel at all, because I don't think I can do it justice, and because it doesn't fit with what I need to write about, although, since it happens in the future, it is kind of my way of time traveling, but I digress...). You guys should know by now that I suck at reviews, but this book had a great balance of the usual suspense of a King novel without the choking detail that makes you want to punch yourself in the face. I stopped doing everything to read it because I needed to know what happened next. I even looked into ways to waterproof my Kindle so that I could read while bathing so I didn't have to stop. Seriously, it is awesome. And I didn't give a festering bowl of dog snot about Lee Harvey Oswald (the main topic of the book) before I read it, so you don't have to care, either, to read and enjoy it.

Pocket in the Sea by E. Stoops

Another book by my friend who wrote Being Emelle, this book is an alternative history fiction about paranormals, and submarines, and is an interesting and enjoyable homoerotic romp. It was a little confusing in the beginning as to what exactly was happening, but as I kept reading, it all wove together and made perfect sense. 

And now, I have the house to myself for three weeks, so hopefully, I will get lots of writing done and things will happen that will spur great blarg posts, and maybe Jason Segel will agree to be my internet boyfriend/celebrity endorser.

I'm sure I can work out the details with my husband.

As Promised.

This is only funny if you read yesterday's post.

In fact, I did cry briefly today.  The love of my life died. Not my husband, he is fine.  Not bacon. It is presumably good, too.

I plugged my Kindle in last night to charge, because it was super dead when I went to read and when I remembered it was still plugged in this afternoon, it had somehow met an untimely demise.  I called Amazon (which I just typoed Amazin, probably not by coincidence) and after explaining in a panicky way that I had been depending upon reading on the plane to keep me from having a panic attack (haven't mentioned I don't like flying, have I?), Kyle the Awesome, told me that a brand spanking new Kindle would be over-nighted to me since mine was still in warranty. It should be here tomorrow in time to take with me. *crosses fingers*

So yeah, I love Amazon, and my Kindle... and while this is not a sponsored post, and is written of my own volition because I am really happy with the customer service I received, Amazon, I love free things and you are welcome to send me anything you like.

Actual Conversations- Fire and Goats

These are hilarious and inappropriate, in that order. Because me and my friends are punny. You have been warned.

The Trifecta of Distraction

I would like to entertain you today but a series of events has made it so that is actually a lie. I really like you guys, but I am now playing The Sims Social on Facebook and making a pixel person pee and cut her own grass with scissors is neverendingly entertaining.

I also started reading "The Hunger Games" yesterday and now, I don't care if Violet Bedpost dies of starvation, because Katniss is having the same issue and I don't have to make her pee or do missions where I have to bother my friends to click links and stuff.  I am up to chapter nine and all I really want to do is read.  I even delayed turning my computer on after I woke up this morning for 2 hours while I read.  Those who know me well know that this is unheard of, as I usually turn my computer back on seconds before I actually wake up.  As soon as I finish typing this, I am going back to reading.

And then, finally, there is the fact that Blogger's stats have been broken since yesterday and it won't show me what people are looking at, and it is SAPPING MY WILL TO LIVE! Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but  as I have mentioned before, I am obsessed with checking my stats and when this:

is what I am met with, it makes for a sad JRose, a very sad JRose who must turn to reading, and video games, and bacon to salve her wounded soul. Only, I have no bacon. I HAVE NO BACON!!!!