Cheeseblarg Does Makeup: Twin Peaks Eyelook (and bonus Aurora Borealis)

If you've watched Twin Peaks, you should be familiar with the inspiration for my newest makeup look. If not, it will just look weird and really, welcome to Twin Peaks.

This video is not so much funny as it is nerdy (it's a little funny), and I think that is really the direction I want to go with my new makeup tutorial channel. There is Nerdy Nummies, for cooking nerd themed food and Super-Fan Builds (that starred my good friend Tim for a while there) for building nerd themed things, so I think I will probably gravitate towards nerd themed makeup looks. Mostly because I have naturally sort of started out that way with videos relating to Clockwork Orange and Astronomy and Cult TV Shows because those are the things that interest and inspire me (and I have an order of makeup on its way that my cat got me for Mother's Day that all happen to be Harry Potter colors, so a house colors video should be coming out eventually).

Anyway, if you enjoy makeup and nerdy things, please subscribe to my channel and go there and thumbs up my videos and encourage me with comments and shares! Or at least don't mail me dead animals as punishment for making them.

And a bonus video - Colorful Skies on you Eyelids! (with a fair amount of NSFW language)

Cheeseblarg does Makeup - Episode One

Despite being a lizard girl, I decided to see if I could actually produce a video of me putting on makeup that was entertaining enough to watch so that I can progress towards my goal of fancy makeup companies sending me free samples. According to my husband, it helps to actually care about putting on makeup when you watch it, which he really doesn't, but I did get a few laughs out of him when I held him down and forced him to preview it before I put my dry crackly face on the internet where hopefully I won't attract hoards of trolls who will mock me and make me cry for the rest of my life. Sorry, I digress. His final assessment was that it is worth watching and that I'm cute, and I like that sort of feedback, so here it is.

It IS somewhat long. I will learn in the future that blending times are times for quietness so I can fast forward through them without sounding like a chipmunk, but if you like makeup, or me, or just want to pretend that we hang out when I'm putting on makeup, maybe you could watch? And subscribe? And encourage me to make more and better videos of all sorts* where you get to see me doing things and talking? And even share it? Maybe?

*Like drawing... I have the technology to show myself drawing comics for the blarg while possibly speaking about what I'm doing.

for early access to videos and outtakes

Lizard Girl- Beauty Vlogger

So I have been wanting to create some videos of me putting on makeup in fancy ways, but I have Behcet's Syndrome (BS for short) and BS* is fucking up my face.

No matter what product I use, my face is dry and scaly. From basically forehead to jawline, I look like I'm molting. I've tried using moisturizers but they all just irritate my skin further, so I get blisters on my face in addition to scales. And yes, I've tried sensitive skin moisturizer and natural remedies with no man-made chemicals; it's all a no go. Sometimes, even water is too much for it.

When I brought up the idea of makeup tutorials, my skin was clear and soft for the first time in... well, most of my adult life, thanks to the wonders of chemotherapy**. But for some reason now, on the same dosage, my skin wants to pretend it's an alligator, so until I can adjust my dosage to the point that it works, I can either hold off on making videos, or I can embrace a new identity:

*quite the apropos abbreviation
** Chemotherapy is an accepted treatment for BS, which helps my body to stop attacking its own vascular system. I'm not just taking dangerous medicine to have nice skin, though it is a plus... when it actually works.

My hole is gonna be HUGE!

I’ve been waiting for a while to discuss this, because this friend of mine in high school once told me about this theory she called “The Point of Light” and the idea is that when you are excited about something, the more you talk about it, the less likely it is to happen, and since I grew up in a household where that was basically the rule, the idea stuck. I know that seems like it has nothing at all to do with lights, but it does if you imagine your anticipation to be a pinprick in the dark that lets light in, and the more you share it with others, the bigger the hole in the darkness gets and apparently bigger holes are less appealing to the gods of wish granting. I think her theory might have been slut-shaming me. Anyway, now that Exciting Event I Didn’t Want to Jinx ™ has happened, (and not without a ton on ridiculousness attached to it) I am free to talk about it.

I moved AND I’m not exceedingly poor anymore, thanks to the government (for the time being, as long as President Dickface and his Zany Cabinet ™ don’t fuck up financial aid for old-assed people going to college. That would be my husband, not me.) Mr. Rose is a college student now and we are living in an adorable tiny house on a college campus in Montana with our cat and a veritable menagerie of woodland creatures. It’s adorable. A gopher cut me off as I was going to get in my car yesterday. Bunnies frolic on our front lawns. It could only get cuter if they talked, or carried tiny baskets with them (makes a note to buy tiny baskets).

But the not being really really poor part is exciting for me. When I’ve said I was poor, I mean, we had no actual income for three straight years and very little for years before that. Like, my mom gave us money to cover things we really needed during that time (‘cause who wants to live with a person who needs - but can’t afford - tampons), and the government paid for our food, but otherwise, I didn’t touch my debit card for literally years. I was actually confused when I had to use it again because ATM technology has changed so much in the last 5 years or so since I last used one. And with the influx of money that I now have access to, I have discovered a deep and passionate love for makeup. I want all the makeup. I don’t have all the makeup, and I should probably curb my appetite for it since, holy shit, makeup these days is so expensive, but it is all so pretty.

That’s not to say that I’m good at makeup. I’m not super girly, but I am so drawn to it. And with my art background, I’ve got an idea of what I want my face to look like, but using makeup brushes is just not like painting. It’s hard, y’all. I’ve been watching tutorials on youtube though and mostly it leads me to wonder how is it that I can integrate beauty tips into a humor blog so that Urban Decay and Too Faced, et al, decide that sending me free makeup is a good business decision.

How many of you are into makeup? Would any of you be into seeing what colors I put on my face some time?