Cheeseblarg's 2016 Nerd-Out

In addition to reading a bunch of books, last year (but incidentally not finishing the reading challenge... after Tracey's coma, I got a little distracted, to say the least-- but I did finish most of it), I also found a whole bunch of new nerd things to be obsessed with.

It's amazing when you are spending every day in bed, in pain, how much nerdy joy can bloom in your heart.

SUPERNATURAL

I basically started watching this so I could understand the million memes that show up on my Tumblr and Facebook timelines, and I highly recommend it if you are into monster and demon folklore... or if you're into hot guys. It works for that, too.
Supernatural is the story of two brothers who hunt monsters of lore (you know, werewolves, vampires, ghosts, chupacabras, etc), crossing the country on various quests in a Chevy Impala, with a bitchin' old rock soundtrack. Seriously, I think they spend at least as much on song rights as they do on production quality, which is pretty good. There is way more to the plot than that, and it gets quite interesting (though there is a lull in the beginning of season 6... just push on through, it really is worth it, I think). The greatest thing about it is that the show nods to so many of my favorite nerd things. There are Ghostbusters references galore, and all sorts of 80s references, which are so much fun, and there are some good jump scares to boot.

STEVEN UNIVERSE

I know it is weird since I draw comics and such, but I don't really love cartoons. It is hard for me to make myself watch them, but again, all of my good friends were obsessed with Stephen Universe, so I figured I would check it out, and then I watched all of the episodes in a few days. They are just 15 minutes each, so it is easy to fit some in when you have a moment... or a few days.
Steven is a pre-teen boy who lives in a seaside town with three alien warriors, called Crystal Gems, who have tasked themselves with protecting the Earth from anything that might threaten humans. His dad, Greg, a former small-time rock star, runs the local carwash and every once in a while checks in on his son, divulging more about his mother, Rose Quartz.
The show is different than any other kids (or adult) show I've ever seen. There are some great songs that you'll want to download (if you're anything like me), and some really poignant social commentary that doesn't feel like it is being shoved down your throat. Most excitingly, it is really inclusive. There are fat characters (who are loved and amazingly not the butt of every joke), and gay characters, and characters of all different colors and creeds.  Really, Steven and the Crystal Gems are just the kind of people that you want to be friends with.

My favorite song!

DEADPOOL

If you've seen the movie and have been paying attention to my sense of humor, you should already understand this love. If not, Deadpool is a wise-cracking, foul-mouthed anti-hero who regularly breaks the 4th wall (i,e, talks to the audience). Major crush. See the movie if you're into funny gory action movies, but don't bring your kids, please.

Hanukkah 2013: 6th Night- Meth, Just Meth.

On the sixth night of Hanukkah, your Cheeseblarg gives to you:

A bag of meth from Heisenberg 

It is damned near impossible to make rock candy in Montana... or maybe it's just my house, which seems to have been partially built on top of an Indian Burial Ground. One of the bedrooms and the kitchen are always about 20 degrees cooler than the rest of the house (which obviously means it is haunted, right?). Rock candy making doesn't do well when it is 50 degrees. Not much evaporation happening at that temperature. I don't know how all the meth makers here do it!

I actually tried twice to make it (rock candy, not meth), carefully following directions each time. The first time, I got a thick blue syrup that did nothing (until this Thursday when I moved it out of the kitchen so I could cook for Thanksgiving). The other try started out as a blue syrup but then turned into a glass of semi solid sugar in a couple hours. I have no idea what the hell that was about, again, since I carefully followed directions. It is still sitting on a shelf in our hallway. I have no idea what to do with it, and frankly, I am a bit scared of it. I'm still contemplating taking pictures/videos of it to share on the facebook fan page.

Today, my husband finally bought me some rock candy from a store and suggested I paint it blue because I have been freaking out about my rock candy not forming for about a month. Since finally moving it to a shelf right above a heat registered worked, I now get to eat a quarter pound of store bought rock candy. Yea! It's a Hanukkah miracle!

Hanukkah 2012: 2nd Night: CRAP!

Now, usually when you get crap for Hanukkah, it is something you totally don't want, but I am hoping this is crap you will enjoy. For tonight, you one get one page of "Crap!" but if you are complimentary, you might get much more in the coming days. Or you might get a stale Panattone. There is really no way of knowing.

Click here to biggify for ease of reading since blogger wants to be a dick and make this distorted at whatever size I make it.. 

*sigh*

Anyway, Happy Hanukkah, the second. Come back tomorrow for more presents.

Holiday Movie Review: ThanksKilling

I would like to share with you one of the most poignant films of the Thanksgiving season.  It is THE best Thanksgiving movie I have ever seen in the Comedy Horror genre.  It is also one of the only Thanksgiving movies I have ever seen in said genre, but that is beside the point, because if you have not seen the movie ThanksKilling, you are really missing out.

Some of the better points:

• Gratuitous nudity in the first seconds of the film.
• A really punny foul-mouthed murdering turkey.
• INCREDIBLY bad acting... like REALLY bad. So bad.
• Gore and lots of it.
• Hilariously funny plot- the interactions with the killer are my favorite part.
• The opening music. Gobble gobble gobble.

This movie, however, is TOTALLY not for kids and it is absolutely not for people who don't like bad words or nudity or BAD ACTING. But if you enjoy funny and gory, or can handle gory and bad acting for funny, watch this movie.  It is available for instant viewing on Netflix, and on Hulu and it can be bought on DVD finally.

Again, it is BAD... if you go into it expecting a serious, high-production, horror movie, you might well hate it, but since people who would listen to my suggestions anyway like me and my dumb humor, you should highly enjoy this movie.

And, I was going to post the trailer, but it gives away too much in my opinion, so here is a teaser trailer... that has nsfw language.

This review/suggestion is not paid and was made of my own volition. It is just a great bad movie that is perfect for an adult holiday!

New York: Secrets Revealed 2- The Garbage Monster

Living in an elevator shaft under Time Square Subway Station, there is a Garbage Monster.

There has to be, because the smell emanating from that elevator shaft is HORRIFICALLY offensive, and yet, it is a smell that I have never smelled before in my life and has no link to any sort of garbage that is created by man.

GERD is No Joke.

The ghost of a tuna fish tried to kill me last night while I slept.

Most people think of acid reflux as a minor annoyance, and while you are awake, I would tend to agree.  Having heartburn sucks, but at least you are awake, and aware of having it, and are most likely not lying down, and so you're slightly uncomfortable and can go take an acid reducer of some sort.  But when you are asleep, acid reflux tries to murder the shit out of you.

Last night, I was happily dreaming about magical spit when all of a sudden, I was awake and terribly aware that I was dying. I sat straight up, flailing, as one will do when they are jolted awake by choking to death, and tried to breathe but my lungs just gave me a big "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" and would not inflate.

The following conversation was then had with my lungs:
Me: "Please, I need to breathe!!!"
My Lungs: "You should have thought about that before you filled us with stomach acid, you asshole!"
Me: "Yeah, I wasn't trying to. I'm not enjoying this any more than you are."
My Lungs: "Stop eating tuna fish for dinner."
Me: "Yeah, I'm right on top of that, Rose.  In the mean time, could you let me get some fucking oxygen because I am dying here."
My Lungs: "Fine, if we must, but we're not kidding about the tuna."

And so, after probably only a few seconds that felt like way longer of desperately trying to breathe, my lungs began working again, and the ghost tuna was exorcised through a ritual of burping and puking that sounded like I had eaten a live velociraptor.

In case you are worried, I'm fine now, other than some slight lung-area pain and a major case of tuna-related PTSD.

Monster Math- Zombies and Negative Numbers

It’s been a while, but Monster Math is back and it's coming to get you, Martha!  Today, we will be battling the number apocalypse with :

NEGATIVE NUMBERS - Zombies and Survivors

First of all we have two teams, positive numbers, which are represented by living humans, or survivors, and negative numbers, which are then, obviously, the undead, zeds, zombies.

positive numbers                      negative numbers

ADDITION

Let’s start with an addition word problem. Addition with negative numbers is just comparing, canceling, and letting the bodies fall as they will.

We have seven humans, hiding out in a rickety old warehouse, with a surprisingly large arsenal of shotguns and buckshot.  Five ambling undead come stumbling out of the local cemetery that has been rained upon by an unknown chemical that reanimates corpses, most likely created by the government as a chemical warfare agent. Who will survive the inevitable fight?

This would be represented as 7+ -5.

Now, our humans are not trained in combat at all, and whether they are or not, to fit the plot of the math problem, we know that they are incredibly bad at fighting zombies and anyone who kills a zombie ends up getting bitten and must die.  As in real life, if there is a zombie attack, it is best to hide and stay out of it, but alas, these are brave, if not foolhardy,  little positive humans and so, they are jumping right into this fight.

It explains Richard Gere

I can't be entirely sure that hamsters are not aliens.