There is only so long that I can listen to a child talk about Digimon before I am no longer able to feign interest.
I probably spelled everything wrong, because frankly, I don't give a shit how it is spelled or who they are or what their Mega Ru Mon form is. I love my nephew. I just... I just never want to hear about Weregarururu-ru-ru-ru-mon again. Ever.
I haven't learned all that much this week because I am doing the vacationing thing, but I have made quite a few observations, like this ad I found in the back of a health food store's wellness magazine:
The disturbing part here is the wine offering. As I tweeted:
I did learn, however a terrible terrible lesson last night, while getting up in the middle of the night at my friend's house to pee:
Honestly, electrical plugs are like the bachelor's Lego. I feel it is my duty to warn everyone now. DON'T STEP ON THEM. It is highly unpleasant.
First thing I learned is that it is damned near impossible to open a laptop case. There is no illustration for this. Just imagine 65 tiny screws and one JRose spouting colorful curse words.
So yeah, the fan in my laptop no longer turns which means that I can only use my computer until it starts to turn into lava, and then, I have to turn it off or it shuts off the monitor and starts smelling like burning components. It is kind of ruining my will to live. I tried to open said laptop case thinking that if it were just 3 years' worth of lint wedged in there that I could clean it out, my computer would not be a total loss, but alas, I couldn't get the fucking thing open. I clearly do not have the secret password to the hopping club that is going on inside there.
Also, GIMP... While I am sure it is a lovely drawing program made by very nice people who are kind enough to give it away for free, it is NOT comparable to Painter 12, which is what I usually use to illustrate this here blarg, and my frustration with trying to install my drawing tablet on my friend's computer and wrestling with layers on GIMP today has lead to a fair bit of crying. I miss my computer.
Second thing I learned, on Father's day, actually. Someone working in Google Chrome's spell check programming department is obsessed with Allie Brosh. I have surmised this because I tried typing the following in to my facebook status and this was what it suggested as a correction:
And lastly, I learned, while driving to visit my friend on the interstate, a fact that I am very sad to know:
The beautiful majestic monarch butterfly...
... is a terrible bright mustard yellow on the inside.
I wanted to share with you, each Thursday, new things I learned during the week. I thought it might be fun, and according to my long ago Facebook poll, some of you agree, but thankfully I am in charge of what gets posted here, so even if you were all, " NO WAY! That sounds boring!" I would probably still post it if it made me laugh.
So here are a few new things I learned this week:
Despite thinking I was completely useless at first person shooters, because of that one time that I turned on my roommate's Xbox to try playing Halo while he wasn't home and was shot repeatedly in the head within seconds of spawning, I learned, playing Bioshock Infinite, (because my husband was tired of me nagging him to check garbage cans while he was playing and handed over the controller) that I am actually pretty good at video games... unless there are 8 people shooting me from different directions, and one of them seems to be Fire Marshal Bill who is throwing large lava rocks at me. Then I just do a lot of yelling of "OMG STOP SHOOTING ME!" and cry while getting killed a lot.
Also, it is totally acceptable to eat cotton candy that has been in a dead man's pocket.
I highly recommend Bioshock Infinite though. It stands alone well, so you don't HAVE to have played the other two games (though they are awesome also, so you should), and it is just stunning, visually, and so much fun... though the last battle took me a million tries, since it goes from relatively easy -- on the easiest setting-- to WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY in the last battle. If you utilize your many different powers correctly, it is completely doable... demonstrated by the fact that I did it, finally (after looking up helpful hints).
This is the trailer, where you can see how beautiful it is, but be warned, there is a slight amount of gore in it... and know that I chose the trailer with the least spoilery stuff in it:
On to the next thing I learned:
Spiders pee-poop. Also, spider pee, not flammable.
Also, I was reminded that without the aid of spell check, I am apparently unable to spell the word flammable.
New thing trice:
We now have to worry about an epidemic of kitten perpetrated nipple maulings. So much so that I was able to use this card I made for Jen Yates for my friend, comedian Jen Kober, only a few days later.
Feel free to use it, should you know someone who is impacted by this horrifying kitten trend.
And finally:
Despite a hidden desire to kick/punch a punching bag, which was realized when watching some stupid banking commercial, it would make me feel bad for abusing an inanimate object; this feels like it would be much more likely:
Extra points if you recognize the room I am reading to the punching bag in... extra extra points if you verify your knowledge by "shouting" quotes.
