Blech.

I am trying to write this post while sounding more funny than bitter, but I have to confess that I have been in a giant buttload of pain for the past couple days, and my pain meds aren't working, and I kinda want to fall into unconsciousness and only awaken when my body decides to stop being such a dickface. Today, however, is not the day that my body is going to be doing that, it seems.

So these are things that I have thought would make me feel better, since narcotics aren't working. If you can arrange any of these, and they do make me feel better, you will rule the entire internet. 

Cuddling with goats:

Obscene amounts of bacon:

Cheese and dough is a bonus!

A unicorn reading to me:

Or a winning lottery ticket, which probably won't take away my pain, but certainly could buy me things that would make being in pain much more bearable, like a Bacon Butler™, and a private swimming pool with a mermaid masseuse, and a pegacorn jumbo jet. 

Pintester Movement - Cheese Porn

So, Sonja Foust, over at Pintester.com has started The Pintester Movement, which is a concerted effort to try Pinterest Pins and post about them, and I figured I would use it as an excuse to try some pins that I have on my Pinterest "Nom Nom *Chomp*" board, because it was something to do, and I always find myself putting off making things that I really want to eat because it takes effort.

The problem is, I am too awesome for this project. Or else I only pin things that are well within my scope of abilities. Notice there are no pins of things that require dipping or patience, ala How Not to Make Cake Pops. I know that making cake pops (which I just typoed cakepoops, clearly a Freudian slip, because we all know how I feel about those asshole treats), will make me want to stab people, so I chose something amazingly easy, and excelled at doing as little as possible, as the recipe demanded.

Recently, I found the food blog "Oh Bite It!" It is like my foodie spirit animal. Every post has bacon, or fried, or some sort of combination of butter and sugar, and that really speaks to me, in an OMG PUT THE FOOD IN MY MOUTH, sort of way. At this point, I have stopped pinning all the things I want to make from that website because my entire food board would be filled with her recipes.

The pin I chose to test for the Pintester Movement maiden voyage into the waters of possible fail, was "Oh Bite It"'s Grilled Cheese Pull-Apart Rolls, mostly because I miss grilled cheese so much, and any promise that something will taste like grilled cheese, while not causing my insides to try to kill me is something I am going to want in my mouth. I also thought it was kind of appropriate for da Cheeseblarg.

So I followed the directions, which are basically, open a can of biscuits without having a heart attack (almost failed on that one), flatten canned biscuit, stuff that motherfucker with velveeta cheese, pincha-pincha-pincha, drown in butter, and bake.

I made half the recipe because there were only two people eating it and I was also making pizza soup to go with it, because half a pound of cheese in bread is apparently not a full meal.

Only the rolls took 40 minutes more to cook through than the instructions lead me to believe, and when I tasted them finally, they tasted like canned biscuits stuffed with velveeta cheese, and not so much like grilled cheese. I was slightly disappointed, even though they were really easy to make. But then, the next night, having the leftovers, because I could only eat one roll the night before, reheated in the microwave, they tasted exactly like a grilled cheese sandwich, and all was redeemed.

That means I will be making these again, and I have complete faith that I will enjoy anything that Oh Bite It comes up with.

This image makes no sense, I just wanted to draw myself in a cute polka dotted bathing suit.

The biscuits' identities have been hidden for their safety.