Showing posts with label thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thanksgiving. Show all posts

Thursday, March 16, 2017

My hole is gonna be HUGE!

I’ve been waiting for a while to discuss this, because this friend of mine in high school once told me about this theory she called “The Point of Light” and the idea is that when you are excited about something, the more you talk about it, the less likely it is to happen, and since I grew up in a household where that was basically the rule, the idea stuck. I know that seems like it has nothing at all to do with lights, but it does if you imagine your anticipation to be a pinprick in the dark that lets light in, and the more you share it with others, the bigger the hole in the darkness gets and apparently bigger holes are less appealing to the gods of wish granting. I think her theory might have been slut-shaming me. Anyway, now that Exciting Event I Didn’t Want to Jinx ™ has happened, (and not without a ton on ridiculousness attached to it) I am free to talk about it.

I moved AND I’m not exceedingly poor anymore, thanks to the government (for the time being, as long as President Dickface and his Zany Cabinet ™ don’t fuck up financial aid for old-assed people going to college. That would be my husband, not me.) Mr. Rose is a college student now and we are living in an adorable tiny house on a college campus in Montana with our cat and a veritable menagerie of woodland creatures. It’s adorable. A gopher cut me off as I was going to get in my car yesterday. Bunnies frolic on our front lawns. It could only get cuter if they talked, or carried tiny baskets with them (makes a note to buy tiny baskets).



But the not being really really poor part is exciting for me. When I’ve said I was poor, I mean, we had no actual income for three straight years and very little for years before that. Like, my mom gave us money to cover things we really needed during that time (‘cause who wants to live with a person who needs - but can’t afford - tampons), and the government paid for our food, but otherwise, I didn’t touch my debit card for literally years. I was actually confused when I had to use it again because ATM technology has changed so much in the last 5 years or so since I last used one. And with the influx of money that I now have access to, I have discovered a deep and passionate love for makeup. I want all the makeup. I don’t have all the makeup, and I should probably curb my appetite for it since, holy shit, makeup these days is so expensive, but it is all so pretty.

That’s not to say that I’m good at makeup. I’m not super girly, but I am so drawn to it. And with my art background, I’ve got an idea of what I want my face to look like, but using makeup brushes is just not like painting. It’s hard, y’all. I’ve been watching tutorials on youtube though and mostly it leads me to wonder how is it that I can integrate beauty tips into a humor blog so that Urban Decay and Too Faced, et al, decide that sending me free makeup is a good business decision.



How many of you are into makeup? Would any of you be into seeing what colors I put on my face some time?

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Hanukkah 2013: 2nd Night - Magenta Hamster

On the second night of Hanukkah, your Cheeseblarg gives to you:

A random object that's been made real!


Once upon a time, I wrote a post bitching about people spelling my name wrong, and in that post , I randomly chose an object as the subject of an email which declared "... I would love a sack full of magenta hamster ornaments." How fortuitous that two years later, I am making ornaments.

Alas, I made him look more like the hamsters I had in college, and I didn't have two shades of magenta. Nevertheless,  I give you, MAGENTA HAMSTER ORNAMENT!


Don't forget to comment for your chance to win my needle felted Dino Ball!

And also, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! We can't forget to celebrate with my Thanksgiving classic sing-a-long.

(there is a video here, feed readers)

And I leave you with my sentiments on this holiday:





Friday, November 16, 2012

It's Thanksgiving!

So I have heard many people complaining that Christmas music starts playing everywhere immediately after Halloween and that this is, apparently, a problem.

I shit you not, I almost cried in a grocery story today after hearing a little kid caroling everyone as her mother pushed her along.  Actually, maybe it was her aunt, because mom's get embarrassed easier than aunts and try to shut things like that down.

Anyway, I digress, I know a lot of people who are Grinchier than I am, and I'm a Jew, so maybe the novelty just hasn't worn off for me yet, but yeah, apparently Christmas songs in November is incredibly stressing to some of you guys.

I figured out why this is. Not why it bothers people, but why it starts right after Halloween. There is NO popular Thanksgiving music. I was telling Dr. Pants this the other day, suggesting that they crank out some awesome turkey tunes, but someone else beat them to it.

Remember everyone's favorite FUN FUN FUN FUN song.
The maker of "Friday" (the song, not the movie), has a new song for Thanksgiving... because no one else did it first. And to that, I say SHAME ON YOU, musicians, shame on all of you...

And also, I want someone to bring ribs to my house for Thanksgiving now.

there's a video here, RSS feeders

It is somehow LEAGUES worse than "Friday" and it prompted me to write my own Thanksgiving song, which I think is only 45% as annoying and way more endearing. It is also titled "It's Thanksgiving!"

there is also a video here... come to the site to watch it!



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