I was reading an article on how to succeed at blarging, and apparently, it is my failure to "get a celebrity" that is holding me back.
I am assuming, at this point, that there is some secret to "getting a celebrity" that is being purposefully hidden from me, because celebrity endorsement is motherfucking elusive. Or more likely, it will take something enticing like... money, or... something of some sort of value to get acknowledged, because offerings of llama drawings have, thus far, been summarily ignored, as have portrait paintings and obnoxious @ messages on twitter.
I'm thinking that I should build some sort of celebrity trap, which makes me sound a bit like a serial killer, but I promise, I don't want to harm them... I would just chain them up for a fortnight and make them tweet links to my hilarious posts at which point I would let them go, if they promised not to press charges.
I just have to work out a) how to get celebrities to come to Montana, and b) what kind of bait I should use.
If you know a celebrity, send them my way...but if you link them to this post, tell them I was joking about the bear trap... and the new car.
"suceed" ... "failure" ... "holding you back" ?!?!? What? You have, like, 1221 followers! Plus the momentary celeb thingie with The Conan. Remember, David Letterman has a ranch in your state as well. He is rather rough on stalkers probably after all his nonsense, though, so be careful. I think there's Tom Brokaw too. I do like your Misery theme, interesting. If it brings you any joy, I am in the middle of a quest trying to find you a museum that has narwals in it.
ReplyDelete@esb- I lose more followers each week than I gain and only have about 5% of those followers actually reading posts and/or interacting, and I make 10 dollars a month for the work I do here. While I appreciate and adore all the followers I have, I am not really "successful" at this... and I would like to be successful enough that I wouldn't be forced to abandon it because cardboard boxes don't generally get internet.
ReplyDeleteI see, that is probably lower than the monthly wage in Bangeladesh, but on the bright side $10 a month is five hundred times the roughly 2 cents a month that I've made in 4 years blogging that means I'm an utter failure! Okay, I'm off to go commit suicide. (wasn't that rather funny, 'utter failure'? Utter: to speak, okay, it wasn't that funny ...)
ReplyDeleteI know I'm just one person, but look forward to reading your posts and you make me laugh every time. Thanks for putting your hard work and creativity into your blog, you always always make me laugh out loud!(And yes, spelling 'lol' out means my laughter is more meaningful than the average 'lol'!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am really not trying to bitch about not getting enough love/attention. You guys are awesome and I love doing this, but I would like to make a living at it so that my mom would stop telling me to get a "real job" and so that I could buy things sometime without having to worry that future bills won't be paid. =P
ReplyDeleteI read. I also tweet. I apologize for not being a celebrity. If I ever catch a celebrity, I'll send him/her your way.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I don't think I've ever seen a celebrity endorse a blog (that wasn't their own). Really. In fact, I can't remember the last time one encouraged me to read anything at all..
ReplyDelete@Gia- Celebrities I follow on twitter post Hyperbole and a Half links, and Cakewreck links and such fairly often. They just post things they think are funny and then their billion followers all click ads on said pages. =P
ReplyDeleteGreat call on the bacon roses. Offering such will surely entrap you celebrities of the like: John Goodman, Bill Clinton & Mena Suvari. Who knew, right? Not sure if any of them have Twitter though.
ReplyDeleteOMG! We should work togheter on this celebrity chase! I heard Paris Hilton doesn't lock her doors...but then again who would believe her if she posted anything that would imply she can read, right?! Hmm...Kathy Griffins Maybe?
ReplyDeleteI met george clinton from P.Funk one time-but i think he's dead. Um, my great grandfather was in 'Rain Man'-but he's dead too. I've got nothing.
ReplyDeleteI think you have to write a book or something.
If I ever know a celebrity, i will tell them about you, I promise. Right after I make sure to tell them about me first. I told steamme up, kid about you, but she's not really a celebrity.
JRose, if I were a celebrity I would tweet you and link you and talk about you all the time. Well, I do that anyway,only without the celebrity. <3
ReplyDeleteYour blog is waaaaay more famous then either of mine. I wish I had as many followers and comments as you get.
ReplyDeleteBut if I ever become famous I'll totally talk about your blog. It's hilarious!
@Kelly- OMG, I know. That is how I found you. Every google vanity search I did came up with placed you had linked me. <3
ReplyDeleteYou are the best pimp I've ever had.
When I become a celebrity (This is only a matter of time.) I will tweet about you all of the time, and my legions of fans will love your llamas too.
ReplyDeleteBacon roses!?! That's how you can make your fortune! Custom bouquets of Bacon Roses, delivered with minimal nibbling by the Delivery Llama. No, no. If it's delivered by a llama you'd be totally safe from nibbling; they're vegetarian, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteHuh! I clearly follow the wrong celebrities I guess. The More You Know (dun dun dunnn)
ReplyDelete