Some Like It Hot!

Someone needs to take my adult badge away...

This is the second time I have burned myself this week. 

The first time, I was melting wax on my stove to use while felting and I accidentally placed my hand on the element. I think I should get a pass on that one, because I have one of those flat top stoves and when the element area is being lazy, it's black (instead of glowing red) like the rest of stove top (Wow, that comes off as really racist upon reading it aloud).

Tonight's burning really is putting me in the realms of, "You can't use the stove any more."

I was innocently heating up a tortilla to make another pulled pork soft taco to eat while watching "We Are The Millers" and the tortilla, which I had just placed in the pan that had been sitting over heat for a few minutes, wasn't particularly warm when I touched it, so I lifted it up and put the back of my fingers directly on the pan... that had been sitting on the heat for a few minutes. As you might expect, which somehow I didn't, it was hot. Very fucking hot. I will need adult supervision until further notice.

Blech.

I am trying to write this post while sounding more funny than bitter, but I have to confess that I have been in a giant buttload of pain for the past couple days, and my pain meds aren't working, and I kinda want to fall into unconsciousness and only awaken when my body decides to stop being such a dickface. Today, however, is not the day that my body is going to be doing that, it seems.

So these are things that I have thought would make me feel better, since narcotics aren't working. If you can arrange any of these, and they do make me feel better, you will rule the entire internet. 

Cuddling with goats:

Obscene amounts of bacon:

Cheese and dough is a bonus!

A unicorn reading to me:

Or a winning lottery ticket, which probably won't take away my pain, but certainly could buy me things that would make being in pain much more bearable, like a Bacon Butler™, and a private swimming pool with a mermaid masseuse, and a pegacorn jumbo jet.