As I have discussed previously, reading makes me tired. And as I have also discussed previously, I sometimes suffer from insomnia. So when watching a movie while insomniacked doesn't produce the desired result of putting me to sleep, I turn to reading an actual book.
The problem is, my husband DOESN'T suffer from insomnia, and while I can get away with watching TV while he is asleep, I cannot turn on a light to read as that has the effect of waking him up and making him look at me meanly which makes me sad, which makes me less likely to get to sleep.
As it is, I often end up reading by the combined light of my laptop screen and the ambient light of the television on mute, but I am regularly thwarted by darkening scenes and rapidly flickering light levels (For the record, Saturday Night Fever, terrible to read by, as is any horror movie, ever. Cooking shows seem best as they don't have much reason to dim the lights). But here is wherein my idea blossoms.
I think that there should be a cable channel called "The Night Light Channel" and it should just be steady bright white light. It could support itself by having ads for books or magazines on the bottom, but they would need meet a standard that would not change the luminance much.
And of course, it does not only have to be used as a reading light, but it could be used to look for your bra while trying to quietly escape a stranger's house after a one night stand, or to light a child's room so that they can be sure there are no zombies sneaking up on them, or to check your alarm clock when you wake up at 4 am and can't be sure if you set it to 7 am or 7 pm.
Perhaps this is something that Amazon.com should look into, to go along with their Kindle, since it isn't backlit. That way, people can use their awesome product with ease while giving them an extra place to advertise their OTHER products.
BOOYAH! Why have I not been hired as a supreme idea-haver extraordinaire yet?
(Because you give away all your ideas on your blarg, my husband says...)
That is genius in itself! If you start a petition to get this Channel set up, I'll be the first to sign it!
ReplyDeleteWell, the second - you'd be the first presumably.
Keep the ideas coming!
Unfortunately, you’re too young to remember when television stations “signed off” at 1:00 a.m. Some stations had a short meditation at that time, followed by a reading of the poem “High Flight,” followed by the playing of the National Anthem. A “test pattern” was displayed for a few minutes, and then, when the station actually went off the air, you saw only a snowy raster on the TV screen, accompanied by a very loud blast of noise. Every person in this country over the age of sixty-years has experience sleeping in the LA-Z-Boy in front of a TV set with that fuzzy-looking “night light.” The more unfortunate among them often awoke at 6:00 a.m. when the National Anthem was played again for “sign on,” and they realized that they hadn’t been to bed yet.
ReplyDeleteNow THAT is a great idea! Finding your bra after a one night stand.. funny :)
ReplyDelete@ William... you just made me wish (again!) that I had been born in a different decade. I love the idea of a poem being read before the sign off. And who needs to be up watching TV after 1AM anyway???
That's brilliant! I usually use the weather channel. Pretty light and steady. Except they have a rather dark commercial every 15 min or so.
ReplyDeleteThere are days when I miss the channels where you got nothing but snow. That seemed to do the trick pretty nicely, not pure white, but casting enough light to let you get away with things lol
ReplyDeleteI know it's way less funny, but I use a book light.
ReplyDelete@William- In fact, I am not too young to remember that. =)
ReplyDelete@Anonymous- I've tried book lights but a) they don't work with a kindle, because there is nowhere to hook them, and b) my husband gets pissy when I turn and the light shines on his face.
hmmmm... maybe they should attach a little hook or something to the kindle, so you can attach your light. then they should attach a pop-out screen for a light blocker... no, to over thought.
ReplyDeleteI love this idea!
Seriously. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteHow about on an analog channel where you press 7 or 8 and you just get fuzziness? Would that have the same effect?
ReplyDeleteYou should definitely take ambien. Not only will you write some amazing shit you don't remember, you and your husband will have relations you don't remember and you'll wake up dressed like a flight attendant. But insomnia no more!
ReplyDeleteWww.justinappropriate.com
@ Laena- Don't forget that some people don't work nice daytime hours and between 3-6 am is their bedtime (and insomniacs like tv too!) I used to work till all sorts of crazy hours.
ReplyDelete@ Jrose- You can get a kindle cover that has a booklight attached to it!
In the end I would hate having the nightlight channel since even looking at my computer for a little while in the dark hurts my eyes and makes me a little nauseous.
noticed the "Dogs playing poker" painting above the bed. Nice touch! :)
ReplyDeleteI do love this idea!!! You should definitely let someone know about it! Heh - it makes sense! :)
ReplyDeleteI clip my book light to my shirt because it annoys me when I try to turn pages, I guess that would still work with a e-reader(patooy!)and I just click it off while I move around so it doesn't catch my husbands eye and back on once I'm settled again. (When he sees light while he is sleeping he tries to kill it.)
ReplyDeleteyour husband could just wear an eye mask...
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a survivalist. He says there is no way he would wear a sleep mask, as he wants to be able to wake at the slightest disturbance to kill zombies/other intruders he wouldn't get in trouble for killing, and a sleep mast would not be conducive to that.
Delete