This is the title, bitch!

I started watching Breaking Bad on Netflix, finally, during my birthday trip last week. I admit, I was being a wiener not wanting to watch it, because shows/movies about drugs annoy me, but when I heard that everyone was super stoked with the ending (which none of you will spoil for me, under threat of needle felting urethras), I figured I should stop being such a butthole and just watch it. After one episode, I was totally hooked... like a meth head.

So, I got home and my husband wants me to wait and watch the show with him. Or rewatch... since he has seen at least 3 seasons, perhaps more, which I have not, but there are two problems:

a.) He keeps spoiling shit seconds before it happens, as in, "Oh yeah, I remember, this is where the monkey takes all the meth.*"

b.) He also suffers from TV induced narcolepsy, so he keeps falling asleep 3/4 into each episode we watch and then I can't watch 10 in a row, and it is really frustrating.**

*As far as I know, there is no monkey using meth in the series, I just tried to make up something that doesn't seem like it will happen... if I have spoiled a meth monkey plot unwittingly, I am sorry.

** Perhaps we should get him some meth so I can watch as much as I'd like in a day (That was a joke, DEA, please don't come here, I make jokes for a living).

The Bloggess Paper Dolls

So I was taking a shower, thinking like I do while in the shower when I run out of choruses from songs I don't really know. I had just been tooling around on Twitter and there was a stream of tweets from The Bloggess about "The Traveling Red Dress," at which time I went and looked at pictures of Jenny in the Traveling Red Dress and shortly after, my shower thoughts went to how I adore the many dress up pictures of The Bloggess. I wasn't looking at twitter in the shower, in case that was unclear. Though, my weasels, I would love to own a waterproof electronic internet-ready device so that I could interface with Skynet at all times... but I digress.
I thought, you know what would be awesome... uh, Bloggess Paper Dolls. Because, I mega heart paper dolls (as we should know from my many dress up games) and I really wanted to draw Wolf Blitzer as a paper doll outfit. And while I usually would make a flash game, I thought it would bring people more joy to do it old school with the added happy of getting to color the outfits. Coloring + Paper Dolls is almost as good as bacon and frosting (but not together... bacon and then a while later, frosting).

So I (we, because she did the kick ass border), give you:

Seriously, click to embiggen, print it out, color all the outfits, cut them out, take pictures of them being played with. Share them with the both of us. Make Copernicus choke the hell out of her (not because we don't like her, but well... read the post and you will understand I mean her no ill will).

If you can afford it, please go buy an official version from her store.  All profits go to charity, and charity is awesome!

And secret fact:  My earlier draft had a "Beyonce the Metal Chicken" costume for The Bloggess to wear, but it was too clunky and she just looked like she worked at El Pollo Tropical, so I switched to a stalking Beyonce instead.

Also, some of the tabs are completely useless and are there to amuse me. Just fold them out of the way.

I also cannot be sure I washed my hair while I was taking that shower because I was really lost in thought. I think I did, but what does it really matter.


--Edited to add--

Want your own paper doll? 

For the first 10 people, I will draw your figure (colored) and two fashion pieces and two accessories (not colored) like The Bloggess Paper Dolls  for $30.  After that it would be $45 for the same. If you want something different (or more) let me know by emailing me cheeseblarg at live dot com, and I will figure out a reasonable fee. I'll just need photos of the figure you want drawn and clothing/accessory idea photos. Half payment is due upfront to hold your place. Doll shall be delivered by email within 2 weeks (and often way sooner).

Nominate J Rose for a social media award in the Shorty Awards

More terrifying than a barrel of monkeys!

I don't think "fun" is the appropriate adjective for a barrel of monkeys.  And who the hell stores monkeys in a barrel, anyway?  That seems really cruel.

The Reality of Monkey Catchers

I was reading about Obama's visit to India and saw that they were deploying "official monkey catchers" to stop any possible monkey attacks. 
Monkey catcher SOUNDS like a super fun job, until you remember they are actual monkeys and not fun-loving cartoon monkeys.

Imagination:

Reality: