JRose in Wolf's Clothing

When I was a kid, I used to try to trick my mom into thinking I was dead. I would lay on the bedroom floor with my legs at weird angles and send my sister to go get my mom to report my untimely demise. I'd lie there, my tongue sticking out, giggling, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling as I waited for my sister to cross the expanse of our house to go get her. I don't think my sister was really selling it though because no one ever came running, it was always just a saunter in to the doorway, where she would look in, nod and then leave. She might have given me an "Oh no... JRose is dead." in a totally unconvincing voice... but I really wasn't that great of a thespian. I wouldn't bother with blood, or bones sticking out, or vacating my bowels. I pretty much stopped at not blinking and holding my breath, all the while grinning.

Some day, I fear, I will fall and end up dead on the floor and she will find me and think, once again, that I am kidding and I will lay there rotting until someone else notices.

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And once again, I am entered in an art contest that requires clicks to get me back to NYC. 

A click would be friggen awesome.

Just click COLLECT ME at the top to vote for my art to be shown in Times Square.

[link removed]

And tell your friends... tomorrow maybe, so they don't think it is an April Fools joke.

The Bloggess Paper Dolls

So I was taking a shower, thinking like I do while in the shower when I run out of choruses from songs I don't really know. I had just been tooling around on Twitter and there was a stream of tweets from The Bloggess about "The Traveling Red Dress," at which time I went and looked at pictures of Jenny in the Traveling Red Dress and shortly after, my shower thoughts went to how I adore the many dress up pictures of The Bloggess. I wasn't looking at twitter in the shower, in case that was unclear. Though, my weasels, I would love to own a waterproof electronic internet-ready device so that I could interface with Skynet at all times... but I digress.
I thought, you know what would be awesome... uh, Bloggess Paper Dolls. Because, I mega heart paper dolls (as we should know from my many dress up games) and I really wanted to draw Wolf Blitzer as a paper doll outfit. And while I usually would make a flash game, I thought it would bring people more joy to do it old school with the added happy of getting to color the outfits. Coloring + Paper Dolls is almost as good as bacon and frosting (but not together... bacon and then a while later, frosting).

So I (we, because she did the kick ass border), give you:

Seriously, click to embiggen, print it out, color all the outfits, cut them out, take pictures of them being played with. Share them with the both of us. Make Copernicus choke the hell out of her (not because we don't like her, but well... read the post and you will understand I mean her no ill will).

If you can afford it, please go buy an official version from her store.  All profits go to charity, and charity is awesome!

And secret fact:  My earlier draft had a "Beyonce the Metal Chicken" costume for The Bloggess to wear, but it was too clunky and she just looked like she worked at El Pollo Tropical, so I switched to a stalking Beyonce instead.

Also, some of the tabs are completely useless and are there to amuse me. Just fold them out of the way.

I also cannot be sure I washed my hair while I was taking that shower because I was really lost in thought. I think I did, but what does it really matter.


--Edited to add--

Want your own paper doll? 

For the first 10 people, I will draw your figure (colored) and two fashion pieces and two accessories (not colored) like The Bloggess Paper Dolls  for $30.  After that it would be $45 for the same. If you want something different (or more) let me know by emailing me cheeseblarg at live dot com, and I will figure out a reasonable fee. I'll just need photos of the figure you want drawn and clothing/accessory idea photos. Half payment is due upfront to hold your place. Doll shall be delivered by email within 2 weeks (and often way sooner).

Nominate J Rose for a social media award in the Shorty Awards

Hanukkah 2011- 6th Night- Merry Christmas!

My family isn't even bothering with Hanukkah tonight.  We will light the candles, of course, because that is what you do, and maybe eat a leftover latke with our remaining Christmas ham, but there are no presents for tonight.  We got a buttload this morning, and as I said last year, the rest of the shopping for a Hanukkah that lasts through (or starts after) Christmas, is done at the half price sales on the 26th.

So instead of a gift tonight, I'm sharing some of the joys of my Christmas.

I made new ornaments for my paper Christmas tree. Each one relates to a major happiness from 2011.

I made a llama truffle army.  They look like they opened the Ark of the Covenant, but I've been assured they are still delicious, despite the fact that my fine motor coordination makes it look like they were made by toddlers. They are peppermint brownie truffles, for the record. This is likely my last foray into making these fucking things ever again, unless I somehow become bionic and regain said lost coordination.

And because of AMAZING AWESOME reader Sarah T., I was able to send out small packages of goodies to several of my friends, which did the trick to lift my humbug grump. Thanks, Sarah!

And my nephew is entirely adorable, which always helps. Here he is, pretending to be The Bloggess.