Scrooged.

I'm having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year.

For the first time in. . . forever, actually, I think, I cannot afford to send gifts to my friends around the country.

Of course, they will understand, but the problem is, sending things out to people is also MY gift.

The whole process of baking fiddly things and then having to bake more because the monster version of my husband eats half the batch of cookies in the middle of the night, and packaging them up with funny labels, and dealing with the heinously rude jerk mail lady, Betty, after waiting in a giant line, sweating to death because I am wearing 2 sweaters and a fluffy coat and the post office is toasty warm, is my present to myself.
I don't get many presents, so I usually sustain myself by sending things out and being elf-like.  Not LOTR elf-like, more of the Harry Potter/Keeblerish type, and that I can't afford that right now kinda makes me one grumpy asshole.

And unfortunately, "Jesus" being "the reason for the season" doesn't really work for me, because I am Jewish and the Maccabees are the reason for the season, which doesn't ring quite as nicely, since they were an army, and long burning oil during a cleaning binge isn't terribly inspiring. So, barring some unexpected windfall,  I guess this year I'll gorge myself on latkes and Christmas cookies and then I'll go out and find some orphans to kick and maybe staple little antlers on some dormice.

As an aside, I've never understood why they make places so damned hot inside during the winter when people are dressed warmly anyway.  I mean, I don't need it to be negative degrees inside too, but it should be cool enough that people don't get heat stroke while waiting in line, buying eggnog.

It's (also) a Trap!

We've still not caught the mouse.  In fact, my husband is the only person in the house who has seen this mouse, and I am beginning to wonder if he is having rodent-centric hallucinations.
I bought two more humane traps today because he keeps seeing it in different rooms of the house, and since the trap in the dinning room area wasn't enticing it, it seemed only logical to get more.

Pro-tip for you: When you get a humane mouse trap, you have to put down the little flange so the effing mouse can get in it.

The Mouse in the House

There's a mouse in my house, which is difficult for me, because while I don't want vermin in my house, I like mice a lot and I don't want to be part of crushing their little skulls or otherwise ending their lives just to rid my house of creatures that are probably going to give me the plague, or Ebola, or some variation of mouse-related cancer.

But, if they would meet my demands, they could totally stay.

click to see bigger

p.s. The Halloween Scavenger Hunt deadline is being extended as several people have let me know that they need more time. Remember, you don't have to get all the pictures... the person who gets the most first is the winner. 

Cheeseblarg's First Official Scavenger Hunt

I was talking to my friend, Kim, because she's awesome, but also because she has been having a crap-filled couple of days, not literally, at least I don't think so, but stressful as all get out, and she suggested that she needed to get out of the house to clear her mind.  Being the awesome and creative friend I am, I offered to create a scavenger hunt for her, because adventures are more exciting than moping in public. But then, the point of scavenger hunts, as I understand them, is to have competition, so that is where you guys come in.

While you could go the cheaty route and just google crap (especially if you are stuck in an office building and aren't allowed to leave your cubicle because you are chained to it until the whistle blows-- yeah, I have never actually worked in an office setting so I imagine that is how it works, right?) there are some items that will require actual photos, and really, actually taking the pictures yourself is more fun... but if you do google, against my will, it better be super creative.

Photo sets can be uploaded to http://www.flickr.com/groups/cheeseblarghunt with a link to your images in a comment here.  You can also, alternatively, upload your images to a post on your own blog and paste a link in the comment section.

Prizes
First 3 people to post completed hunts (that are not googled/binged/searched for on the internet and show that you actually left the house to do it), win an envelope of happiness from me in the mail.

Next 3 people to post completed hunts win a special personalized scavenger hunt winner badge.
And since only six people actually read this regularly, that should cover it.

No, no, all others will receive a scavenger hunt badge for their blog, or wall, or refrigerator.

Winners will be announced in a separate post and I will request addresses at that time to send out prizes.


Now, on to the hunt!

Remember, you can be as creative as you like, as long as one could reasonable associate your photo with the item on the list.


1. A cat in a window
2. Bare feet in grass
3. Bacon
4. A squeaker
5. 3 people holding cards
6. Cheese on an entire family
7. Someone wearing a hat
8. A bird, not in a tree
9. The color red, only the color red
10. You holding a sign referring to Da Cheeseblarg
11. The cutest chocolate you can find
12. Velcro
13. An upside down book
14. Something I write about all the time but have not put in the list
15. Ice cream
16. A chance
17. Something nerdy
18. A yellow flower
19. A crack in a sidewalk
20. The inside of a grocery store
21. A person wearing a barrette
22. A scavenger

I will also accept drawings/painting for each item, but they must be done by you, and stick figures don't count!

August Sticker Sale- Cake Squirrel is not a lie.

This month's limited edition sticker is dedicated to my husband, who turns 44 on August 22nd.  Triangular nosed squeakers (aka squirrels) are one of his favorites, so I made a ginger squirrel sticker with cake in his honor.   There are 44 stickers available and they will go off sale, per usual, the last day of the month.

This sticker is no longer available for sale... sorry!

For those viewing via RSS, there is a button to buy on the actual blarg page!



As always, this is a homemade, hand cut, matte finish sticker.  It measures 4" by about 3".  There is no additional shipping.  All sent in a standard envelope with a cute drawing on it by me. And as always, if you wanna give me extra money, the option is available (and super mega appreciated).




Check out the new sticker page for other fancy stickers you can buy!

GET IN MY MOUTH!

For some reason, when I see an exceptionally cute little animal, my immediate reaction is the desire to put its head in my mouth...  For example:

Japanese Flying Squirrel AKA one of the cutest known animals on EARTH!

My immediate reaction.

It's not that I want to eat it, or harm it, or bite it, or scare it, it just... belongs in my mouth.

And I know, for a fact, that I am not the only weirdo who has this reaction, because in college, my friend Norwiener and I went to visit my friend Rian to see his adorable new itty bitty kitten, and the first thing that she said was, "OMG, IT'S SO CUTE! Do you think its head would fit in my mouth?" and then she put its head in her mouth. Or maybe I am just really weird and so are my friends, but I am not alone damn it. I'm not alone.

Talk amongst yourselves...

My shoe is around here somewhere...

Sorry, too busy picking lentils out of the fireplace to make a substantial post today. 

I'd like to know where those helpful mice are, though... even a hamster would be fine.

It explains Richard Gere

I can't be entirely sure that hamsters are not aliens.