Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Pintester Movement: That's Not A Moon!

It is also not a dented flamboyant golf ball though it looks like one of those, too.

So, I am back, thanks to Sonja Foust's Pintester Movement again. She really does a good job of getting me to post once a month. This time, we're all making ornaments (serious, go look at all the awesome ornaments in the links!), and I wanted to try out this awesome Star Wars Disco Death Star that I found on Pinterest.

This picture is not mine. This is what it should look like. This is awesome. 

It should be noted that there are no square sequins in all of Montana... in fact, there are hardly any sequins at all. I guess when you live in a place where eagles pick up baby deer and fling them at power lines, sequining shit is not a priority. After checking every other store in town, I finally found round silver sequins and since we are pintesting here, I figured, 'fuck it, that will do.'

Also, I don't know if this phenomenon is widespread but it seems that Montana thinks that Styrofoam is made out of unicorn spleens, because they are seriously pricey here. This tutorial was all, "under 5 dollars" and I was all, "bullshit!" So my ball is much smaller than their ball because I am cheap, and I wasn't paying over 6 dollars for a stupid ball, though I suppose it will never decompose, so maybe I'm supposed to be paying for longevity.

Anyway, once I started the project, it was pretty easy. Took me about 2 hours to finish it while not really paying attention to a football game on TV. I was kinda of tired of being covered in glue by the end of it, and of repositioning sequins that my giant clumsy fingers knocked out of place.

It doesn't look like the Death Star really because round sequins are built to reflect light everywhere, so it just looks like a gaudy silver ball really, but I am sure that if I tell everyone what it is when I put it in my tree, they will be able to see it... if they squint.



And, I don't really like sucking at things so I made another ornament to show that I really am good at things when I am given the correct supplies. This one is from the following tutorial I found on Pinterest, which I used as an inspiration, again, because I couldn't find exactly what it called for and these bitchin' hollow glass globes were on sale at our fancy craft store.

Here are their versions:


And here is mine:

TOO SOON!
I needle felted the landscape from polyfill fiber and various colored wool, and the T-Rex came from our local animal feed/farming store. I have no idea why they have tiny dinosaurs in the farm store, but I am glad they do, because, while it is insensitive to dinosaurs, apocalyptic dino deaths are one of my favorite art subjects. Should I find the appropriate medium before Christmas, I may even glaze the back of this with reds and orange to really drive home the "imminent death" thing.

As a reminder, if you are sending Cheeseblarg's tree an ornament (and thank you to those who already have, they are all AWESOME), they should be to me by the 21st (if it is a day or two late, I'll cope, but I do need time to get them photographed and coded). I can't wait to see all the ones that are on their way! You guys are super awesome!

And while I am showing off my needle felting, though it has absolutely nothing to do with the Pintester Movement, this is still my blarg, and I can show off why I haven't been entertaining y'all as frequently. Part of it is getting Hanukkah presents ready for you guys (Starting Thanksgiving night, there will be daily posts coming for eight whole days), but mostly, I have been stabbing things and making money doing so to replace my husband's lost unemployment.



If you are interested in buying a felt from me, I have the white and black Dalek on Etsy (the rest have been sold), and I am happy to make almost any felt sculpture that someone is willing to pay for (unless it is a human baby) as long as you are willing to wait a week or so for it to be done. Remember, these are not sewn pieces, they are all stabbed and are solid (but soft). They are art pieces, and not really suitable for playing with, because tugging can pull the wool out of place. If you're interested, I can only manage about 10 of them before it becomes too late for gifting for Christmas, so feel free to contact me at cheeseblarg at live dot com so I can get a piece done for you. Fair warning, I am working at 15 bucks an hour on these, and most take me several hours to do, but as you can see, they are pretty damned awesome.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012 Cheesy Wrap Up

Happy New Year's Eve Eve, Cheeseblargians!

I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year, with all of the LOLs and NOMs and UNFs you could hope for. I also wish me the same because I am fairly self-centered.

I come bearing a ton of funny for the end of the year, in the form of  my comic, CRAP! which you should be reading and sharing, though most of you aren't which is a bit discouraging, but today, we reach the crux of what the comic is really about, so maybe that will be the camel straw that makes people actually respond to what I am doing so I am not just drawing this damned thing only to amuse myself (though it really really does amuse me, greatly... because I know what is going to happen). Be a hipster, like it before everyone else does!

Click the previews below to get to the comic page, which, for the unobservant, is also up in the right corner of the new navigation bar (^ that a-way)




Instead of posting them as separate posts, I'm archiving all of them here and on Tumbler, which I am now using, but as you see, I am inserting the E in there, right where it belongs. Future postings should be posted at the bottom of new posts in the same form as above.

Also, my Tard the Grumpy Cat drawing is in the I Can Has Cats t-shirt contest at We Love Fine, and if you wanted to rate that shit, that would be super awesome PLUS helping funny artists is good for your New Year karma, I've been told.

click the picture to go vote!



I also wanted to share this awesome drawing of me (the real me- I actually have a nose) done by reader Milina P. because it is friggen awesome. I love it when you guys draw me, or my characters, or llama narwhal hybrids. <3


Wonder JRose!

And this was sent to me overnight by reader Amanda E. who bought me the cake I desperately wanted that they don't sell in the Northwest. It was delicious, Amanda, thank you! You continue to RULE!  =D


And that's all. It has been a pretty cool year.  I hope next year will hold more posts, comic stories and fun exciting things, including me winning the lottery or somehow becoming independently wealthy so I can take a trip to the Grand Canyon finally, and go back to NYC so I can stalk  my College Humor crush, Emily visit my favorite city ever without getting robbed again, and maybe finally find out what the hell that smell is under Grand Central Station. 

So again, Happy New Year's! I love you guys... and I'm not even drunk!


Cheeseblarg OUT!
See you next year! 


   


Saturday, December 15, 2012

Hanukkah 2012: 8th Night- CRAPTASTIC!

I hope you have enjoyed this year's Hanukkah. Mine hasn't sucked terribly, and I have actually gotten quite a few useful things (which I don't think has happened before, ever). Tonight, for the final night of Hanukkah, your present is PAGE THREE of CRAP! which actually reveals a good part of what this comic is actually about, though there are a few more surprises in store. If I get encouragement (comments, views, proposals), I will share more soon, and if not, I will share it when I feel like it. If you missed pages one and two, you can find them using this link --> I'm a link <-- because comics make more sense when you read them in order.



Click here to see it full sized for ease of reading and whatnot. 

Friday, December 14, 2012

Hanukkah 2012: 7th Night - Llamakkah

My nephew came over for Hanukkah the other night and exclaimed "YEA, THERE ARE ONLY THREE NIGHTS LEFT!"  Clearly, he gets this holiday.


Today has been a long day. I am unprepared. Your present is a stern look from a llama.  Consider it a coupon for a free post sometime when the world sucks less.



Thursday, December 13, 2012

Hanukkah 2012: 6th Night- Dr. Whonukkah

Happy 6th Night of Hanukkah!

Tonight, your present is a Dalek Menorah!



CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!
CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! 
CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Hanukkah 2012: 5th Night -Nom Nom Nomukkah

You get a re-gift tonight, because I said so, but it is still awesome, and perfect gift for your belly on the 5th night of Hanukkah. But first, let's light the candles!

(there is a video here ^)








Potato Latkes

4 medium potatoes, peeled and cut
1/2 medium onion, quartered
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup matzo meal
2 large eggs
oil for frying
Sour cream and apple sauce

Heat about 1/4 inch of oil in a very large fry pan over medium heat.
Place cut and peeled potatoes in bowl of processor and chop finely until no large pieces remain.
Add onion and chop until uniform.
Add salt, matzo meal and eggs and pulse to mix well.  Should have the consistency of apple sauce.
Place 1/4 cup portions of uncooked latke mixture into hot oil in batches (it should sizzle when some batter is added) flatten slightly and fry until golden brown.
Flip carefully and fry other side until done.
Drain on paper towels.
Eat hot with sour cream and/or apple sauce.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Hanukkah 2012: 3rd Night- CRAP! (page 2)

It seems some of you guys really like my "CRAP!" So tonight, you get more of it. Page 2 of CRAP! is here for your reading pleasure.

Oh, and last night for Hanukkah, I got a "That's What She Said" shirt... from my mom.


Click here to biggify for reading and not all friggen blurry. Grr.

And unless you are an insider who has been listening to my long running ramblings about this comic (while it was in its inception phase), I'm gonna guess that you will not be able to guess what happens next. Though you are welcome to try...

And I'll be back tomorrow night with some more Hanukkah giftery!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Hanukkah 2012: 2nd Night: CRAP!

Now, usually when you get crap for Hanukkah, it is something you totally don't want, but I am hoping this is crap you will enjoy. For tonight, you one get one page of "Crap!" but if you are complimentary, you might get much more in the coming days. Or you might get a stale Panattone. There is really no way of knowing.



Click here to biggify for ease of reading since blogger wants to be a dick and make this distorted at whatever size I make it.. 
*sigh*

Anyway, Happy Hanukkah, the second. Come back tomorrow for more presents.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Hanukkah 2012: 1st Night- Gangsta Hanukkah

HAPPY HANUKKAH, BITCHES!


I like you guys so much that I got you two videos to watch for this, the first night of the Festival of Lights.  They are verbally offensive, which makes for the best videos really... so unless you want your kids repeating  foul phrases for the in-laws, you should probably watch these sans kids (or people who get upset by the n-word). 





The Hanukkah Bush is a sensitive subject for me. Now, I grew up in Miami Beach, which means that pretty much everyone I knew was Jewish, and it also means that until I was a teenager and went to school in Greater Miami where they actually had Christians, I knew pretty much nothing about Christmas traditions... except for Christmas Trees, which I knew mostly, from "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," because we didn't watch any other Christmas specials in my house. The Grinch, that was it. 

I didn't care about Santa, or wreaths, or stockings, but the idea of having a tree in your house that you got to decorate was of great interest to me. But my mom was having nothing of it.  My sister and I plead our case, but we were met with "There is no such thing as a Hanukkah Bush!" which I think was code for, "I'm not spending money to put a dead tree in our living room just so you can hang shit on it."

My first winter in my own apartment, I got my own Christmas Tree. It was totally worth it, too.

Don't forget... there will be a present every day for EIGHT WHOLE DAYS, so don't forget to come back after sunset each day!

Friday, November 23, 2012

Llama of the Month Club

In case you missed out on Black Friday deals because you have an actual job, or like me, because you didn't want to have to put clothes on and get out of bed, I have an offer here that some of you might be interested in.



This is a club wherein, you can buy a 3 month ($45), 6 month ($80), or year ($150) subscription to receive ACEO llama art from me, shipped right to your home, or the home of your favorite llama lover.

It will all be original art, so there are only a hand full of each subscription type.  And the subscription offers a special birthday ACEO for the recipient during their birth month.

 

If you are interested, you can find the listings with more details at my Etsy store (which has some boobs in, just as a warning) 

Monday, October 1, 2012

You look like a monkey and you smell like one too!



And to celebrate, here are some of my favorite things currently:


(video above)


And as much as I am amused by Gangnam Style, I love this video below even more, especially when you read the translation:



And a birthday wish from my best Harry Potter nerd friend. I once made her a chocolate cheesecake for her birthday, with the Hogwart's Coat of Arms on it, created with royal icing, and snitches made of Lindt truffles dusted in edible gold powder. This was nearly as enjoyable, though I had no idea she had an animagus.




Also, I received a new drawing tablet as a present, which I love the heck out of... mostly because it makes me draw better, and it is awesome and fancy.  
Here is a drawing of my friend's adorable pug, Ollie, that I did with it:


So yeah, happy birthday to me (as of 4:04 in the morning, October 2nd). Thank you for reading the silly things I post, and for commenting, and clicking reaction buttons for another year. <3



Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Cheeseblarg's Secret Cupid Valentine Exchange!


(excerpt from chat conversation)
So I had an idea, while in the shower last night...
bathtub maybe...
In water
Not that it really maters where I was
The point is I had an idea.
And I am going to tell it to you.

Last year, I did a Valentine contest where one person got a Valentine package from me. And that was pretty boss, but since this was a hard year for me, I thought, giving one person love is just not enough, I want EVERYONE to have buckets of love, but alas, I don't have enough resources to send love to everyone, and then I splashed water everywhere. Not really, but you can imagine I did. I might have just gotten my hair wet in my excitement, if I am going to bother being honest.

A secret cupid exchange!

We, as a community of Cheeseblargians (including me), could come together and be each other's Valentines. I know way too many people who hate Valentine's day because they don't have someone who wants to regularly put their junk in said person's junk and that is just silly. I mean, junk merging is clearly enjoyable for most people who are into that sort of thing, but love does not just have to come from people who wanna stick their junk in you or otherwise come in contact with your parts. I have always enjoyed just sharing love and happy sappiness with anyone who doesn't put a restraining order on me, so how about it?



Uh, we be each other's Valentines without any junk dipping at all. We do it to make someone happy and to also, ourselves, feel happy about getting to make someone else happy.




  • You sign up to be a Valentine using my handy dandy form (that is closed now, since it is past the deadline). 



  • You are matched up with a person to whom you will send a Valentine package ($5 minimum, no maximum, but more than $25 should NOT be expected). The person you are sending to should not be the person you will get stuff from.

  • You will be encouraged to give your blog address and to visit your match's blog to gently stalk them to get an idea of things they like. Please don't be creepy. And tell me if people are being creepy, so I can tell 'em to knock it off.

  • January 30th is the last day to sign up (cutoff comes at midnight mountain time zone). I will send out matches on the 31st of January- 2nd of February (depending on how many matches we get). Packages should be sent by Wednesday, February 8th so that packages get there in time (unless you plan on sending express... just try make sure it gets there on time!).

  • We have Cheeseblargians all over the world so I need matches not only in the US and Canada, but also in the UK and Australia. If you are from the US or Canada and are willing to do overseas gift exchanges and chance not having them ON Valentine's Day (especially if you already have a Valentine person of your own), be sure to check that option on the sign up page!


Important things to make this work:

  • You will be getting emails from me. It is important that your email works and that it be an email you check regularly.

  • Email me when you send your package out and I will email your match to let them know it was sent. If you have tracking information, that would be a good thing to send me.

  • When you receive your gift, come back and tell us all about it either on Cheeseblarg's facebook page or on this post (link from your own blog)! Photos are encouraged. 

  • Remember, this is about giving love so do be gracious, even if you get a Pee Wee Urine Bag (don't send Pee Wee Urine Bags, or otherwise troll your Valentine, please... even if this is a humor blarg, gifts are serious bidness!).

  • If for some reason your package doesn't arrive after I sent you notice it was shipped, let me know after two weeks from when it should arrive and I will let the community know so that you can be sure to get a gift.


What are good Secret Cupid gifts?
Handmade or silly cards, something special and unique from your part of the country, something Cheeseblarg themed, candy, jewelry, toys, stickers, books, things you are sure your match will like.



What are BAD Secret Cupid gifts?
Anything harmful, stinky, or dead that has not been proccessed in a way that makes it an appropriate gift (leather wallet, ok- dead raccoon carcass, not ok). Something funny but dissapointing, something your match obviously wouldn't want (like a bag of flour for the writer of GlutenFreeForLife or A Vampire Hunter Taxadermied Duck for VeganGal417) This should be a pleasant experience for all.





If you know you cannot make the deadlines or can't send at least 5 dollars worth of something (plus shipping), hold off for another gift exchange, please. If you have an aversion to giving out your address or are in the Witness Protection Program, this is probably not for you. Also, if you are a jerk in a way that it will mar the experience for someone else, just be a jerk to someone in person and get it out of your system. Don't be mean to my people. The Cheeseblargians, I mean, not the Jews.



If for some reason, this becomes way more popular than I expect it to, and I get hundreds or thousands or BILLIONS of people wanting to participate, uh... I may need help or a little more time. I shall keep y'alls posted, in that case. 


And if I have missed something, glaringly, that is going to make this suck for me, or you guys, please let me know so I can fix it! 

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 8th Night- From Us to You!

It's the last night of Hanukkah. Despite what calendars say, it is over now. Tomorrow is the last day, but Jews don't acknowledge days. We are like the vampires of the holiday world.
It has been a wild ride. You got some crappy gifts, I did too, but it was fun. Wasn't it? Okay, it wasn't terribly painful? Maybe a little? But the fun kind? Damn it, people!

Whatever, here is your stupid jerk gift.







(unwrap it... with the link below... or scroll... wow, this has been tedious telling people how to access a webpage...)


Monday, December 26, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 7th Night- There was a sale!

This is usually the sweet spot.  The day after Christmas sometimes can bring some AWESOME gifts that are now half-price and cheap enough to buy for people you care about. And sometimes, it can just bring a lot of cheap crap that you still don't want but OMG, there is more of it. YAY!



Guess which one you got tonight!
(see another post if you can't figure out how to open the present)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 6th Night- Merry Christmas!

My family isn't even bothering with Hanukkah tonight.  We will light the candles, of course, because that is what you do, and maybe eat a leftover latke with our remaining Christmas ham, but there are no presents for tonight.  We got a buttload this morning, and as I said last year, the rest of the shopping for a Hanukkah that lasts through (or starts after) Christmas, is done at the half price sales on the 26th.




So instead of a gift tonight, I'm sharing some of the joys of my Christmas.


I made new ornaments for my paper Christmas tree. Each one relates to a major happiness from 2011.



I made a llama truffle army.  They look like they opened the Ark of the Covenant, but I've been assured they are still delicious, despite the fact that my fine motor coordination makes it look like they were made by toddlers. They are peppermint brownie truffles, for the record. This is likely my last foray into making these fucking things ever again, unless I somehow become bionic and regain said lost coordination.


And because of AMAZING AWESOME reader Sarah T., I was able to send out small packages of goodies to several of my friends, which did the trick to lift my humbug grump. Thanks, Sarah!


And my nephew is entirely adorable, which always helps. Here he is, pretending to be The Bloggess


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 5th Night- All things that are good.

Last night I got a bacon cheeseball for Hanukkah. It wasn't real bacon at least, but it was a cheeseball, that was wrapped in wrapping paper... It still was better than the gift I gave you guys last night. You were all VERY gracious though.  So gracious, in fact, that I am giving you another AWESOME present. Again, in the form of a video.  Again, fairly weird and inappropriate (aka not kid safe), just like me!


You have to light the candles every nights or you CAN'T have your GIFTS! 


(open the present by clicking on the next line or scrolling, motherlicker)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 4th Night- Goodness Gracious

We are trying to teach my nephew the skill of being gracious. When you are going to get crappy gifts, you need to just suck it up and be as gracious as possible, because as much as we all are thinking it, it makes people angry when you say "I don't want this. Can I have something else?"

Tonight, I am testing your graciousness. And by that, I mean I got you a BEAUTIFUL piece of art that made me think of you the moment I saw it. I just KNOW you will LOVE IT!

Bonus points if you print it out and display it and provide me with proof in your thank you note.





(look over there to the left, click to open this OR scroll down)



Thursday, December 22, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 3rd Night- Spuna Snax!

A common Hanukkah present theme is bargain food items, and here I am representing. I even have recipe ideas I've drawn up  for you! Enjoy!

Baru hata adanoi... I don't know how to really transcribe Hebrew but that is how it sounds to me... probably a lot like the song Ken Lee to a real Hebrew speaker...


Nom nom click/scroll


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 2nd Night- Chainsaw

This is actually a really good present, which is out of character for me... but only if you have a sense of humor and don't have kids around, because it is entirely not safe for kids, work, or anyplace else where you cannot listen to music that has dirty words and concepts in it... but it is one of my favorite inappropriate funny songs. 



This also kinda conveys my feelings pretty accurately... but you have to listen until the end. ;)




(click to open... or just friggen scroll down)

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Hanukkah 2011- 1st Night- Pee Wee's Playhouse

Like last year (and as I plan to do as long as I write this blarg) I am celebrating Hanukkah with all of you.
Don't get excited. Hanukkah gifts are never good, unless your parents are really rich and have something to prove and I am neither your parents, nor rich. I am funny... so this Hanukkah will be funny, and cheap, and fairly inappropriate.


On the first night of Hanukkah I got you:

(If you are visiting the site, you get to click the link below to open your presents...otherwise it will just look weird and you will have to pretend you are opening things as you scroll down)

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