11 out of 22 aka The Second Grand Canyon Incident

I got 11 of my 22 things done before I turned 40 (exactly a month ago as of writing this). I'm calling that a success, though I am still working on most of the rest. I've decided that goats and llamas don't need the stress of me hugging them, but if I come across one in nature and it's down to snuggle, I'll oblige. Others are being delayed as changes come into my life and 'cause I am perpetually broke and can't afford fanciful things, even if they are on a list of things I want to do. And I'm still afraid of dentists.

THINGS I DID

1. Go to the Grand Canyon
2. Pick my nose at the Grand Canyon

In April, we (being my husband, my mother, and I) took a road trip o'er this way too damned big country to FINALLY go see the Grand Canyon, with a detour through Las Vegas. I'm still not terribly thrilled to be in a car almost 7 months later. 

In true Cheeseblarg fashion, "The Experiment" was in full swing and my mother, who is physically incapable of throwing up, contracted The Worst Stomach Flu Ever Known To Man™ and spent two days pooping her way through Utah and Nevada. I, of course, waited to get this flu from hell until we got to Arizona, at which point I became the sickest and saddest fountain of puke and poop, ever.

We had planned to be in town for two days because I was set to complete task 8, "Meet an internet friend in person" but work stuff made it so she couldn't make the drive from New Mexico, and I literally felt like I was dying. I knew I'd be back the next day, so my first moments of seeing the Grand Canyon were staggering out of our car, which was parked right along the edge of the canyon on a cold windy day and thinking, "Great, it's a huge fucking hole, can we go home now?"

Then I sat in the car and cried while my mom expressed 40 years worth of displeasure with me and my husband enjoyed exploring with his family who had driven up to meet us there. It was just as The Experiment would have had it.

The next day, I was dying just a little bit less and it was at least 42% more enjoyable. I still wanted to go home, but I did have the energy that day to pick my nose.

I had that flu for 5 days. Apparently, me and the Grand Canyon were just really not meant to be.

3. Gamble in Las Vegas
4. Pick my nose while gambling in Las Vegas

Before I became deathly ill, I actually had a really great time in Las Vegas. I managed to win 5 dollars on a cheeseburger themed slot machine, and then I lost 20ish dollars in quarters the rest of the time there. And I picked my nose.

I also ate a lot at the Bacchanal Buffet at Caeser's Palace, which you could see from our hotel room. We also had a bitchin' view of the Bellagio's fountains from our room so I could watch the fancy water show without having to be around humans I didn't know.

 I chose the Bacchanal Buffet, in part, because research told me it had the best desserts of all the buffets in Las Vegas. If I had had more money at my disposal, I would have wanted to do my own research, but I did make sure to get one of every dessert I could eat (keeping my allergies in mind) and tried all of them*. The best was actually a Thai rice pudding with a delicate coffee perfume that I still pine for.

(Starting at the top and going clockwise-ish) Fudge, cherry clafouti, chocolate lava
cake, lemon tart, red velvet brownie, toffee chocolate mousse pop, pecan pie.

(starting at the top going clockwise) Thai rice pudding, guava strawberry sorbet, 
tropical pineapple compote, flan, coconut tapioca pudding, creme brulee, 
oreo dome cake

*My mom and I shared them, 'cause even though most of them were small, I totally can't eat 14 desserts all by myself  (especially after eating Lobster Benedict) and I am too Jewish to waste so much food, just taking a bite of each.

5. Read a new Stephen King book

Finishing out the Bill Hodges trilogy, I actually got this book in the mail from an otherwise anonymous woman named Becky, because it was a book I requested from The Bloggess's booksgiving, earlier this year. I look forward to more mystery/crime type novels from Stephen King. 

6. Collect all the cats in Neko Atsume 

I managed this one on my actual birthday. I've been trying all this time but all the fancy cats decided to visit me to wish me a happy birthday. I'm certain of it.

7. Vote for Bernie Sanders

While I didn't get to vote for him for President (because I'm not throwing away my shot vote), I totally did my primary duty. I wanted to take a picture to share, but I found out it was illegal in my state, so here is an artist's rendering:

8. See the new Ghostbusters movie in the theater
9. Pick my nose while watching the new Ghostbusters movie

I did, see this post: I Ain't Afraid of no Reboots!

10. Write a short story

If you didn't see it, you haven't been paying attention: The Melancholy Princess

11. Eat a fruit I've never had before

I started with Dragon Fruit and the image below is a summary of my feelings on this incredibly cool looking fruit.

For the most part, I'm pretty sure I've tasted all the best fruits (though I am holding out hope for mangosteen, which is incredibly hard to come by when you live in rural Montana). Moreover, there's a reason Dragon Fruit isn't as popular as apples and I don't think it's because it's tropical (see: Pineapples. Don't grow everywhere, still super popular because they are amazingly delicious.). I'm, of course, still open to new fruits. I had some awesome cotton candy grapes (that I had to peel to eat without a reaction), and the lychee was tasty but a little perfumey, but I'm totally giving up on Dragon Fruit. I just can't be down with a fruit that tastes like peppery water to me because pepper and I are not friends.

For extra content at just 1 dollar a post.

I Ain't Afraid of No Reboots!

This post has no spoilers unless you think drawings of myself and characters from the movies are spoilers, then there are spoilers, but no details of the plot of the movie itself.


So, if you've been paying attention for any amount of time, you should know that I am a gigantic Ghostbusters fan. Unlike most of the people on the tubes, I was super looking forward to the release of the new Ghostbusters reboot, which should be clear since I made a goal of going to the movie AND picking my nose in said movie (which I totally achieved):

Artist's Rendering

I even made my own shirt for the occasion, which was the most obnoxious experience ever. I mean, who makes a t-shirt transfer that CAN'T BE WASHED *glares at Horizon Group USA*

If you want one, too, you can buy one by clicking the picture, because iron-ons are a pain in the ass (There are also stickers, mini skirts, and prints available). Or pledge a dollar or more on Patreon for access to the unwatermarked version to make your own if you enjoy ass pains.

But my thoughts on the movie...

I LOVED IT!

Now my nephew, who is the kid next to me in the picture above ignoring my finger in my nose, thought it was better than the original, but I quickly corrected him, because that is verging on blasphemy. But it was just as good, I think, and its own thing. 

Of course, there are many (cheek-bustingly delightful) references to the original, which I won't elaborate on, but it really is an entirely new thing which real fans of the movie (who don't have some weird principle against a universe being expanded -- or yucky girls) should absolutely love.

Love, love, love, love, love. And so far, all the fans I know are really feeling exactly that, so it is not just because I usually keep my expectations almost as low as they can go when it comes to media. That is to say, if I am entertained, I am willing to call something entertainment, but this was more than entertainment; it was a new and expanded look at a franchise that has been dear to my heart since I was 8 years old, and I think it will bring a new generation of 8-year-olds into the fray. I can't wait for more!

In the meantime, I'll just bring everyone I know to go see it, and draw fan art, and read all I can about it and fantasize about joining the crew!

 

Twentyish by Fortyish

 I add "ish" to my bucket lists. Like 4 before 40-ish, give or take a few years.

— Jennifer 

Tomorrow I will be 39 and a ½ so following the tradition of age-related goal setting, with the all too poignant reminders I’ve had lately that life is far too short, I am coming up with a list of things I would like to do before 40, but as my twitter friend suggested, I’ll make it by 40ish, because I am chronically ill and I’m not willing to beat myself up for not reaching goals that are arbitrary to begin with. So these are things that I would like to do in my life and soon, that I am willing to put some effort towards. Also, I do stuff I want to all the time, so I’m pretty sure I’m not going to come up with 40 things I really want to do that I haven’t done before (or in a really long time), so, here’s 20ish by 40ish:

1. Go to the Grand Canyon
2. Pick my nose at the Grand Canyon

I could make them really easy related things like "Go to Grand Canyon" "Pick nose at Grand Canyon" #40by40ish

— J Rose

3. Get a book published by an actual publisher (and not just self-publishing- clearly this requires cooperation by entities other than myself which makes it so much harder)
4. Gamble in Las Vegas
5. Pick my nose while gambling in Las Vegas (also counts if it is just done in a casino)
6. Pet a llama
7. Snuggle goats (I would say pet a goat, but most of my childhood was spent petting goats apparently)

 

8. Meet internet friends in person
9. Read a new Stephen King book
10. Collect all the cats in Atsume Neko

My goodies bring all the kitties to the yard. #nekoatsume #newbie

A photo posted by JRose (@cheeseblarg) on Mar 30, 2016 at 10:24pm PDT

11. Go to a dentist despite being a complete dental phobe (extra points for not having overwhelming anxiety whilst doing so)
12. Try bone marrow
13. Vote for Bernie Sanders
14. See the new Ghostbusters movie in the theater
15. Pick my nose while watching the new Ghostbusters movie
16. Plan a surprise party for my cat

17. Write a short story
18. Purge a bunch of my belongings that I don’t need or ever think about
19. Make pasta from scratch
20. Have funny colored hair (again, my college career was a time of rainbow hair)
21. Eat an entire village
22. Eat a fruit I've never had before, for dessert, after eating an entire village

And with that said, stay tuned for this exciting project!

Coming to da blarg (with extra content at Patreon for supporters) at the end of April!

He ain't afraid of no ghosts.

Fifteen years ago tonight, after our second date, my husband told me he was in love with me and asked me to be his girlfriend. That sounds all sweet and romantic BUT, it is even more so when you take into consideration the fact that I sneezed directly into his hand during said date... and not like a cute little "achoo, 'scuse me!" sneeze. No, it was a full-on first day of the flu, "SHE SLIMED ME!" sneeze... directly into the palm of his hand.

This was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. We were in the theater watching a movie (I Still Know What You Did Last Summer), he was to my right, had his arm around me, and was holding my left hand. I was slightly aware that this horrible flu was coming on, and this terror was building in my mind... it was a very short process, but it was something like, "OH GOD, I HAVE TO SNEEZE! I'M LEFT-HANDED. I NEED MY HAND! SURELY IF I PULL, HE'LL LET GO!!" But he didn't, and instead of being smart and sneezing into my right hand, I turned my head, tugged, met resistance, and the sneeze was there, and so was a ton of snot and slobber on his hand, which I had pulled right over my face.

I was pretty sure he was going to break it off right then, so I was pleasantly surprised when he asked me to be his girl instead of running off before the movie even ended, which, I suspect, is what I would have done had someone deposited that amount of mucus on me during a date. 

Hanukkah 2013: 8th Night- Doctor Whonukkah- The Last

On the 8th night of Hanukkah your Cheeseblarg gives to you:

A weeping angel to creep you out.

Needle felted by me... inquire by email if you want one of your own for $75 plus shipping.

The episode "Blink" from Doctor Who is one of the greatest episodes of the series, very much so because you don't have to know much about the Whoniverse to watch the episode; it really stands alone. If you've not seen it, I highly recommend it. You can watch it on Netflix by going to Season Three- Episode 11 of the new Doctor Who series.* Again, it doesn't need much explanation, other than it helps to know that the series is about a man named The Doctor and in this season, he is played by David Tennant, so you know him when you see him.

It is almost guaranteed to make you a Whovian, so prepare yourself for great amounts of joy to come!

With that, Happy Hanukkah, and Merry Eventual Christmas! I hope your enjoyed your presents. Cheeseblarg loves you, yadda.

And since I'm not hiding things from you anymore, finally, the whole tree!

Don't forget to comment! I'll announce the winner of the Dino Ball in two days!

*There are also skeevy places to watch it on the internet in its entirety, if you're into being a criminal and whatnot.

Valentine's Cards: Set Two- From Your Unromantic Boyfriend

My next set of Valentines are what you would get if your boyfriend/husband could really get you the card he wanted to... that was based on an action movie. Or the ones that I would get you, because I like classic action movies, despite having a vagina.

And again, some available in my Zazzle shop if they haven't been taken down.

The Popcorn Paradox

It is bizarre to me, that the same substance can produce one of the best AND one of the worst smells in the entire universe.

Cheeseblarg's Llama Dress Up!

Sweet weasels, I should have taped myself creating this because I probably could have won some sort of prize for yelling and cursing nonsensically at my computer. But it is done, and uploaded, and it is all for you... and it was also for me, because the parts where I was not cursing and yelling and wishing everyone in the world dead, were actually pretty fun.

For the record, this was my first time doing Flash, ever.  And I had to figure out how to use it myself, because the tutorials I found didn't use the version I was using, which is apparently completely different. But now that I know how to do it, I could probably be encouraged to do more sometime. *nudge*
Let me know how you like it, and tell a friend to come play!

GHA! Hold tight if it isn't working for you. It seems to load every other time. I am working on other hosting. ETA: Hooray! Changed hosting, working now! Thanks Luc and Caz!