Dr. Pants- Watching the World End : A Review... kinda.

Approximately 2 weeks ago, some version of this conversation happened:

I also informed the awesome Dr. Pants that I am terrible at reviewing stuff and fail, often, at doing things on time, despite best intentions. However, my desire to not embarrass myself by looking like some flighty jerk outweighed my overwhelming need to not prioritize things that I am not paid to do (because I am not being paid for this review, or compensated in any way, I really am doing it because their rocking concert in The Bloggess' bathroom turned me into a fan, and because I was assured that drawing songs wasn't a cop out) so here we go... BEFORE DEADLINE, BITCHES!

Watching the World End is Dr. Pants' new EP, scheduled for release on April 28, at which time you should totally go and buy the hell out of it. The EP is the third of a four-part series entitled THE TRIP.

The album is fun and funny, a mixture of funk and nerdy rock.  It consists of 6 songs, all of which I illustrated, and all of which are worth listening to. I know that doesn't sound like much of a recommendation, but as I advised, I suck at reviewing and when I say something is worth listening to, it means it is actually enjoyable and good.  Now on to my illustrations!

Robot Spiders 

This is by far my favorite song on the album because the story it tells is so much fun. Don't even take my word for it, listen for yourself!

Collections

This song has nothing to do with cats, I don't think, as it is an instrumental. I just wanted a reason to draw cat buttholes since all the cool bloggers feature cat buttholes and it makes them famous. Also, I like the idea of a living collection, because it is awful, just awful. Unless you collect cats, in which case, I don't mean to insult you, but really... there might be something wrong with you.

No Funkies

I am reminded of the hip coffee culture in my college town of Gainesville, FL listening to this song, for some reason.  It is entirely funky and so catchy I find myself singing it randomly. "We don't want no funkies in here."

Natalie

Very reminiscent of Weezer, this song is, and again, catchy. It also reminds me of the 80s, probably because it stirs up my first feelings of unrequited love when, in 6th grade, I was sitting and in my closet talking to Jorge Herrera on my cheeseburger phone and I said "Oh Jorge, I like you so much, I would do anything for you!" and he said "Oh really, well, could you tell Susan that I like her!" Susan was my best friend. I said "Ok..." and then hung up and cried for a while. This song would have made me feel better at the time. Especially if I had sung it while punching Jorge in the face.

Dog -> Hurricane

There are times when the melodies in this song remind me of Ween, and that is a good thing in my book. It waxes philosophic on the Butterfly Effect in true nerd style, starting at the title of the song that uses mathematical notation, and it makes me smile.  Especially when picturing a villainous dog. I know, these damned descriptions will do you no good unless you hear the songs.  That is the point. LISTEN TO THE SONGS... when they are available, of course. April 28th!

I Am Yours

This is a sweet and intimate upbeat love song and I am a jackass for illustrating it as I do with Spiderman and Harry Potter (complete with Triwizard Tournament Trophy), but it should not be news that I am a jackass.

So there you go. I appreciate being given the chance by Dr. Pants to share this music with you guys, and I hope that you will listen to the album when it comes out and you will enjoy it as much as I did. Also, I'd like a Robot Spider when available, guys. You know where to reach me for shipping details.

Musical Interlude: Kiss Off!

I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record.

If you are lost, I highly recommend you listen to this, one of my favorite songs EVER.

Kiss Off by the Violent Femmes

Hanukkah 2011- 2nd Night- Chainsaw

This is actually a really good present, which is out of character for me... but only if you have a sense of humor and don't have kids around, because it is entirely not safe for kids, work, or anyplace else where you cannot listen to music that has dirty words and concepts in it... but it is one of my favorite inappropriate funny songs. 

This also kinda conveys my feelings pretty accurately... but you have to listen until the end. ;)

(click to open... or just friggen scroll down)

Where he at?

Writing everyday is actually quite hard.  I mean, being funny everyday is hard when being funny includes drawing pictures.  Thankfully, I amuse myself and my standards are lower than everyone else's. Anyway, you can thank Mary for getting this stuck in my head, and now for getting it stuck in your head too.

And if you want to make writing easier for me, you can by encouraging me with comments, likes, and sharing my posts. And thank you to everyone who does.  You're more awesome than popsicles and platypuses.

Grammar Guide: That vs. Which

I'm back with more helpfulness, this time in the form of a grammar lesson.  I have been helping a friend edit content lately and it seems many people think that the word THAT is freely interchangeable with the word WHICH, which it surely is not. Of course, I am not a grammar expert, so don't give me shit on my grammar, thanks, but this visual might help someone (when writing NOT a humor blarg) where their grammar and diction need to be spot on.

Note that clauses that contain "which" are almost always set of by commas, whereas clauses that contain "that" are not.

For more technical information on why this is so, see this great explanation by Grammar Girl

Ken Lee

Continuing with my theme of helpful posts, you know what is NOT helpful?  Correcting people's lyrics while they are gleefully singing the wrong words at the top of their lungs.

There are two things in play here... either the person REALIZES they just sang the wrong words and doesn't need to be embarrassed further to realize that they are wrong or they seriously don't give a shit and are just enjoying themselves.

But then a lyric Nazi comes along and is all "IT'S 'SHE'S OUT OF MY LEAGUE,' NOT 'SHE'S OUT OF MY REACH'" and then I am all, "that doesn't even make sense, if she's like the wind, how is the wind out of his league? He must think really poorly of himself if blowing air is too good for him. Man, those lyrics are dumb!"


So, unless you are tasked with training someone for a singing competition, or a lyric game show, seriously, just let them sing shit wrong.

And then make fun of them on the internet by making a comic that points out they sang Jessie's Girl wrong when they were a kid.



p.s. Don't forget... birthday party, on the internet, this Sunday! No need to RSVP if you are specifically avoiding the internet that day to spite me, really... it is cruel.

Use our MRI or DIE!

I went today for an MRI on my brain to prove, once and for all, that I do not have either tumors, or a woodsman in my brain causing my headaches.

When I met my technician I didn't catch his name, but let's call him Chip, he looked like a Chip. I told him, as we walked to the MRI room, "I'm gonna try not to freak out, but I cannot promise anything." Chip assured me that he would do his best to hurry and was super nice about explaining to me what would happen, though I knew because I can't go into a situation without researching it thoroughly, especially when it might tell me I have a woodsman in my head. Plus, I watch a lot of House. I was then told I could listen to music while they did the procedure. I, of course, chose the 80s music channel and Chip offered to turn the music way up so it would drown out the sound of the machine. Thanks for the thought Chip; it totally didn't work.

And then, and I had considered this, it played a song by Van Halen that my stupid idiot jerk boyfriend from high school used to cry through because "It was SO meaningful and deep." No, idiot, "When It's Love" is not deep, you're just a tool. Plus, seriously, Sammy Hagar sucks, I mean compared to David Lee Roth... He was alright on his own, but Van Halen totally fell apart when they replaced David Lee Roth. I wish they had played Panama, or Ice Cream Man, or anything that didn't remind me that I dated a stupid jerk for way too long, but it was amusing, being stuck in a tube with sub-par Van Halen and my memories.
Then they played "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band which I loved, clearly, because if you don't love that song, you suck*, or haven't heard it. And then "Tenderness" by... who the heck sings that song... General Public? Who knew... probably people who really like General Public.

Part way through "When It's Love," Chip called into me to make sure I was okay and then told me there were only 6 minutes left. He didn't, however, tell me that those were the six loudest, most terrifying minutes of the procedure. Towards the end, the machine started shaking and beeping like there was a nuclear melt down happening. It crossed my mind that the Yellowstone Caldera had finally blown and that Chip had fled for his life and I was going to die wedged in a tiny tube.

But, I have already gotten the results back and my brain is, apparently, completely normal. I think that their definition of "normal" may be a bit skewed but my headaches are just headaches and I can finally say for sure:



IT'S NOT A TUMOR!


*sorry for telling you you suck if you hate this song. I've just been through something traumatic, you'll have to forgive me.

Crawlin' like a centipede...

This message is brought to you by my nephew, who was playing with shredded napkin pieces at lunch, whilst dramatically yelping the following:

I'm not entirely sure what it means, but he was quite emphatic about it.


And OMG, the nephypoo graduates from pre-school on Friday! I couldn't be more proud of the little booger!

And also, because it is now stuck in my head and makes about as much sense as the above:

Yesterday was Thursday!

I'm sorry, it is shameful, but I love "Friday" by Rebecca Black. It is just so terrible. Terrible to the point that it is hysterical. Terrible to the point that it is wonderful, and wonderful, in part, because it encourages creativity in others.

If you've not watched the original, it is important endure it to enjoy the remakes, even if it may be painful... it will make the joy so much more joyful after:

Here are some of my favorite alternative versions and references:

Oh Conan, I heart you!

Barney! Barney! 

(thanks for the link Vez)

And this wholly inappropriate and very coarse-languaged (read: f-bombs out yo butt) video of Hitler's reaction to the song:

I mean, it's Hitler.  It's not gonna be nice.

So thank you, Rebecca Black, for the vast amount of enjoyment I garnered from your song.  It probably was not what you imagined, but you've made so many people happy, and that is what is important (which is what we artists say to ourselves when people are making fun of us like big jerkheads).

p.s. For those of you worrying, OMG YAY, found source for new LCD screen for my camera so hopefully it will be fixed within a fortnight (because I can't afford expedited shipping). Hooray!

Awesome Things Friday!

It's Friday. I have things for you, but they have no real stories, other than the fact that they are awesome things. So today is:

AWESOME THINGS FRIDAY!

(just imagine that flashing obnoxiously)

DANCING GOAT!

High-five little goat!

JOEY RAMONE!

and by association, Rock N Roll High School.

SHOWTIME ROTISSERIE!

As enjoyable to watch as it is to eat sausages from it!

BACON AND PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES! 

I don't have a picture but they are awesome.

That's all.  Feel free to share some of your awesome things with me!

These are a few of my favorite things... A.K.A. It's better than nothing!

I've managed to contract half of a flu, which is to say, I'm not going to a doctor to pay to be told I have "virus syndrome" but I feel like I've been hit by a moving vehicle, for no discernible reason, because I feel fine otherwise, just... beaten and bruised, though I am actually neither of those things.

TL;DR- I feel like crap.

So instead of drawing anything, I am sharing things that have brought me grand amounts of joy lately:

Amanda Palmer:

Actually, the whole album makes me all kinds of happy, and only costs a minimum of 69¢ (That is, you can pay more if you like, which I did). You can listen to it all here before buying it! Or just listen to it there and not buy it... some of the lyrics are NSFW, btw.


This post from JerBear Shares:

I'm a Car Genius, FYI!

Seriously, I'm fairly certain she is gonna start being afraid of me soon, because my love for her is so strong that I am now writing about it in my blarg and it's beginning to seem creepy even to me, but she's freakin' funny!

Unicornomics on Twitter:

The funniest part about them is reading their replies to other people.  They also did a great post about Sparkles' babies.

Tiffany and her cakes, which she loves:

Tiffany Loves Cake!

She is a teaching herself the art of cake and I love what she does.  The insides are so cool, too, in fact, a picture of her 7 layer rainbow cake was what endeared me to her, and her tattoos. Don't miss her exclusive  post on the Santa Claw either!

And lastly, stickers, puffy weird stickers. I found some with narwhals and other lesser celebrated sea creatures, and some with lovey Australian animals recently.  Not much that is cuter than kissing duck-billed platypi (which would actually be correctly pluralized as platypodes, but damn it... PLATYPI!).


So yeah, sorry for no art, but feel free to draw me some strange animal hybrids or make me "Get Well" bouquets of bacon to speed my recovery!

A Llama in a Pear Tree (Costume)

I never got the 12 days of Christmas, being raised a Jew, though who does, really?  Like everyone else, of course, we were forced to sing it over and over in elementary school every single year. I think I will spare you a whole set... but I couldn't resist a Llama as a pear tree!

Imagine the gold as sparkly... I can't do obnoxious gold glitter with painter!

I can also do a rousing edition of "This Land is Your Land" and "Michael Finnegan."

Musical Interlude- Hungry Eyes

I've been meaning to tell you, 

I've got this feelin' that won't subside.

I look at you and I fantasize. 

You're mine tonight.

Now I've got you in my sights 

With these hungry eyes.

Hungry Eyes - Eric Carmen