J-san Learns Japanese

I am learning Kana while hanging out with my friend for my annual birthday trip.  Kana, for those of you who are not the sort of person who has all the written languages of the world memorized, is what part of the Japanese written language is called.  It breaks down to Hirigana and Katakana, both of which I am currently trying to learn.

As usual, I end up sounding like I have Tourrette's while attempting to read out loud.

I went to Japan when I was 3.  I don't remember much but toys and big silver and glass buildings, and lots of neon.  My mother informs me that I threw up in my father's pocket while in a Teppanyaki restaurant, before I freaked out screaming, terrified of knife throwing ninja chefs. I can't be sure that the same wouldn't happen if I manage to get back there, but I would love to go!

New York Secrets Revealed: The Small Print

During my trip to New York, one of my ticky list items was to find a good Indian restaurant and gorge myself on delicious spicy delicacies. Using the power of google and yelp from my sketchy hotel room, I found an Indian place less than a block away from my art show that had a menu with everything I could want on it, well within my limited budget.

When we got there after visiting my show, they had a lunch buffet, but it was like 18 bucks a person, and $54 for the three of us, plus tip, plus tax, plus a stomach that won't fit $18 worth of food was so not going to happen, so we asked to be seated and got menus. After looking at all the tasty 5 dollar appetizers we would share, my mom noticed that at the bottom of the page, in small letters, it stipulated that each person must order $25 worth of food to eat in the dining room, which is where we were seated. That was followed by a horrifying conversation with our clearly displeased waiter where I offered to take our food to go, if needed. "No, fine, just order." So we ordered our food and it was SO delicious, like 'I wanted to lick the plate and then mate with it' delicious. Crispy fried onion fritters, spicy flaky pockets of mashed potato, green peas, and chilies, and chicken pakora, so salty and crunchy, all with tamarind dipping sauce that was sweet and cool and tangy. It was amazing.
And I could feel the hostility each time my water was refilled. Damn me for drinking so much water all the time! I'm the complete opposite of a camel.
And then, sheepishly, I asked our waiter about dessert. I wanted Gulab Jamun, badly.  If you've not had Gulab Jamun and you like syrupy sweet desserts, get your ass to an Indian restaurant, immediately. I don't care if it is not open right now, go wait. These things are little dense balls, not unlike cake donuts with the texture of a  hushpuppy, soaked in a sugar syrup that is heavily laced with cardamom and rosewater, until they cannot hold another drop of syrup, and dear people, they are so very good.

What they are usually not is BOILING MOTHERFUCKING HOT, which is what they were when they were served to me in this lovely restaurant in NY. They were like, passive aggressively hot.  Like every bit of anger that that waiter had at me for wasting his time with a 20 dollar order for three in the heart of Manhattan, times 20, was put on the microwave timer.  To the point that I could feel the searing heat coming off of it before it actually got to my face, which thankfully gave me a warning, or I would have lost all the skin lining the inside of my mouth.  My poor impulse control still contributed to minor burns, but thankfully, I avoided a hospital visit. And still they were delicious. So good. Almost worth the burns, totally worth the story.

Next time I have cause to visit NYC, I will, fer real, be budgeting a bunch of money to get an assortment of their amazing dishes, but I think I will get it to go next time, just in case.

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- It's a Trap(tor)!

The final piece for Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan is done, and I have waited to share it until now because I wanted to post the news that I was putting it on Threadless so that hopefully it can be made into a T-shirt that will get me paid so I can stop bitching about money all the time. Please, go vote. Make everyone you know vote. Everyone wants me to shut the hell up about money and this would be a start.

I also find it strange that I consistently typo the word SHIRT as SHIT.  It is like typing Tourette's.

Score this design: "It's a Trap(tor)!," to help it get printed on Threadless!

And if you would like a 15" museum quality print of this piece of art for $85, just email me me using the email at the bottom of the page.

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- Narwhal of Liberty

I've finished another from the Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan series just last night and started on the last planned piece. Here it is. And remember, Cheeseblarg Merchandise makes great Holiday Gifts!

Narwhal of Liberty by cheeseblarg
Posters for sale on Zazzle

Macy's Day Parade Postcards for sale on Etsy
or get one for a bit less, perhaps on ebay.
I have two being auctioned.
(click here to see them)

As a bonus, there is a piece for sale in my Etsy store (that is fairly NSFW) from the time my work was on Regretsy.

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- Macy's Day Parade

I've not woken up earlier enough to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in years.  Certainly not since I moved to Montana, as we are two hours behind the East coast and I would have to wake at 7 am to see it (and nope, no DVR either) and I only wake up that early if I am in dire pain or my bladder is being a jerk.

But what good timing, my first piece from the Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan series is done, and as promised, I have overtaken a famous New York landmark with a well known Cheeseblarg icon.  And in case you don't wake up early enough to see the Macy's Day Parade (which is what James, the fabulous tour guide, told us real New Yorkers call it), you can just pretend this really happened.

Do feel free to biggify this to see all the details that I spent ten hours drawing 

(which is like the equivalent of 40 hours for most other artists).

Poster prints are now on sale at Zazzle in several different sizes if you are interested!

Macy's Day Parade by cheeseblarg
Browse more Macy Posters


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Everywhere a Llama, Llama- NYC

Since Saturdays are slow traffic days because, apparently, everyone else has a life and friends and stuff, I am going to share with you every single llama that resides within the American Museum of Natural History in New York City... because, I took pictures of ALL of them. Every single one.

To the LLAMAS!

Just read the label under it.

Those are llamas.

Also, a llama.

You guessed it, llama (and a cute spotted llama at that).

This one just wouldn't freaking stand still. I must have tried to take this picture about 30 times and this is the best of them. It was only about 2 inches high.... and is also a llama.

Boy llama.

Herd of gravy boat llamas.

I didn't see a single narwhal, but I was talked into leaving before I was done searching every room, in an attempt to get to the Bronx zoo before it closed.  We didn't get to the zoo because we started out late and had a few subway mishaps... but it gives me an excuse to go back.  

New York: Secrets Revealed 2- The Garbage Monster

Living in an elevator shaft under Time Square Subway Station, there is a Garbage Monster.

There has to be, because the smell emanating from that elevator shaft is HORRIFICALLY offensive, and yet, it is a smell that I have never smelled before in my life and has no link to any sort of garbage that is created by man.

New York: Secrets Revealed

I've learned from my trip here that all of the toilet paper in New York City is made from sadness and crushed dreams.

Really, I think it may be the reason for the stereotypical bad attitude associated with New Yorkers. They seem like great people, their nether regions are just horribly chaffed.


p.s.

How I learned not to pack pick axes.

What with my trip tomorrow, I have been perusing the TSA website for potential lulz, and by potential lulz, I mean for lists of things that sane people would probably NOT try to bring on a plane.

As a collector of snow globes and meat cleavers, I can't tell you how disappointing this is.


*FYI, pre-purchase of art from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" project through the donation link on "The Good, the Bad, and the Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" is available until October 29th.  After that, art will be available for sale on Cheeseblarg's Etsy site at retail prices.

The Good, the Bad, and the Cheeseblarg takes Manhattan.

The bad news: Despite all the wonderful people willing to back me with a total of $974 (plus $40 more sent directly to me) and the news story on me by my local news station (thanks Marnee!), I did not meet my goal amount on Kickstarter in time and all of the pledges were canceled.

The good news: Thanks to Kelly providing a ticket for me, I was able to convince my darling mother that it would be a travesty of justice if I didn't get to go to New York City for my debut art show there, and she begrudgingly agreed to accompany me and eat Greek food* and pay for what I couldn't at this point using her credit, which is thankfully better than mine.

The bad news: I may very well be an indentured servant for the rest of my life until I pay off this trip so all of my posts will be about washing dishes and crying from now on.

The good news: "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" is still on!

Artist's rendering of self in NYC

If anyone would like to take advantage of the rewards below, still, your money will go directly to the trip/project and your art will be delivered in the time windows indicated, just like before. 

GIVE $1 OR MORE

A digital donation badge featuring art from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series.

Estimated Delivery: Nov 2011

GIVE $10 OR MORE

A postcard from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series.

Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011

GIVE $25 OR MORE

A postcard and mini print from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series.

Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011

GIVE $50 OR MORE

A 12" signed print from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series (of your choice).

Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011

GIVE  $75 OR MORE

A 12" signed print from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series (of your choice), plus a postcard and mini print from the series.

Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011

GIVE  $200 OR MORE

One signed museum quality giclee print (of your choice) from the "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series up to 24 inches.

Estimated Delivery: Dec 2011

BACKER REPORT

GIVE  $1,000 OR MORE

A set of limited edition signed museum quality giclee prints from "Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan" series. (approximately 10" each- 200 in edition- set includes 5 or more prints)

Estimated Delivery: Jan 2012

Please be sure to include your address so your art can be sent to you!
And thank you again, for all your support!

I will be blogging at least once from New York, and will be updating the Facebook page and twitter with pictures and stuff.  I leave Monday. Any New Yorkers (or localy people) are welcome to come to meet me at art show Monday night (will post time I'll be there on facebook or twitter). I promise I'll try not to throw up on you.

*and Indian food, and German food, and Katz's Deli, and whatever street food we can get our hands on... ad nauseum.

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- An Update

I would like to announce that my friend and great patron Kelly L. is friggen amazing. 

While I still need to raise quite a bit of money (we've gotten up to 28 percent), thanks to Kelly and her frequent flyer miles, my plane ticket to NYC is now covered. Booked actually. 

I'm trying to get as much coverage on this as I can. There are only 5 days left and I think we really can meet this goal.  I need to get the word out, though, because now I have a ticket and I don't think that sleeping on the streets of NYC is legal or advisable for tourists.  So again, even a dollar can help (and has a prize) and all sharing of my project can make a difference.... as can coming up with awesome ideas like Kelly's that cost no extra money but get me where I need to be.

I can't even express how amazing it is that my plans seem to actually be working for once, and I am hoping against hopes that this is not part of the Experiment. 

Want more information on this post? See Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan!  Go, and make sure to watch the videos.  And remember, I don't get any money, at all, unless my goal amount is reached.  This is not a donation, but an investment in art and da Cheeseblarg. I get NO money unless I get enough pledges.

Road Trip

Drove to Washington from Montana today. Here is a recap of my trip.

1st hour:

On the MP3 player: Cars Greatest Hits

On the road... only not like the book... which I half read in college because I was bored by it.

• Got stuck behind a slow-assed truck for many miles because I was on a two lane road and I am terrified of passing.
• Also terrified of rocks hitting my windshield, I have found.
• Thoroughly picked my nose.

2nd hour:

On the MP3 player: Cars Greatest Hits- For crap's sake, how long is this album!?

I think there is a bunny staring at me from the rock formations on that hill.

• Begin having mini panic attacks because I suddenly become incredibly aware of my body.  
• Wonder if combination of the Imodium, headache medicine, and gas-x I took before leaving was somehow having hallucinogenic effects.
• 1st rest stop... toilets are made of metal.
• Washed hands thoroughly.
• OMG WIENERMOBILE!

Metal Toilet... very airplane like.

3rd hour:

On the MP3 player: Cyndi Lauper (She's So Unusual and True Colors Albums)

Random snowy pass, where construction soon intervened.

• The hour of construction... it just went on and on and on.
• Began contemplating how incredibly strange driving is... just sitting in a box that is moving me along in space based on where I move my hands and feet.
• Got gas in Missoula, MT.

4th hour:

On the MP3 player: Dirty Dancing Soundtrack

Trout, up the wazoo!

• Second rest stop.
• Visited the Trout Museum.
• Drop my camera on the bathroom floor, hence breaking the display and making me sad.
• Try to get picture of the Idaho sign but fail, because the display of my camera is now broken and I cannot see where the camera is pointing. 

5th hour:

On the MP3 player: Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, F-Boys (80's punk band my sister's bf was in), and Gnarls Barkley

• Make it through the rest of the mountain passes, in snow, Gojira attacked but unfortunately, the camera was broken so I couldn't capture it.
• Fail again to capture Washington sign because of broken camera.